Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Claire Berlinski, Ed. ·
Jun 9, 2011 at 12:57am
The most interesting thing about Helsinki--I say this after several hours of careful inspection--is that it may well be the most boring city I've ever seen. World-record-setting boring. Gold medal boring. The International Capitol of Excellence in Boringness.
I have been looking all over for anything that might be of interest to Ricochet readers. This is the best I can do so far:
- Finns are even blonder than Estonians. I had no idea people could be so blonde. Imperialists came to this land long ago and seized all the local melanin resources, I guess, and they just never recovered.
- On first inspection, I'd guess the Finnish birth rate is quite healthy. I'm not seeing many Finns--the streets are dead empty--but of those I do see, a high percentage are (unbelievably blonde) little kids. They're all protected from every conceivable hazard, too, with advanced Finnish bike helmets, advanced Finnish sun visors, and advanced-looking wheels on their advanced Finnish baby carriages. These kids, clearly, are all going to make it to adulthood.
- Some linguists believe Finnish and Turkish to be part of the same Ural-Altaic language family. That hypothesis is a bit controversial, as controversies among linguists go. Let me settle it right now: No, Finnish has nothing in common with Turkish. That's just nuts.
- Supposedly, there are 5,000 Turkish immigrants in Finland. I've spent the morning looking for one. No luck so far. In fact, I've yet to see anyone who looks like an immigrant. I must be walking through the wrong neighborhoods.
- I don't think the Helsinki events coordinator on the Crystal Serenity has ever before been asked by a passenger where to find the cheap kebab stands. She looked even more perplexed when I tested the hypothesis that Finnish and Turkish might be mutually intelligible.
- I reckon after that exchange I'm now known as the ship weirdo. One on every cruise, I suppose.
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May '10
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
This is the worst, most depressing, soul-crushing, life-stretching godawfullest cruise ever. I trust you're not paying for it. And if some guy in a dark tattered cloak asks you to play chess on the Lido deck, don't agree! Rage, rage against the endless light.
Um, I think if you speak Turkish very loudly and slowly to the Finns and/or Lapps, they'll understand you. Stress the K's.
Oct '10
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Boring? Have you managed to overlook one of the greatest bookstores ever?
Nov '10
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Seems a rather impressive country -- I remember reading in the WSJ a few years ago that Finland has arguably the highest educational achievement in the world.
And my experience with all of two Finns: tell them you're a fan of Esa-Pekka Salonen and you're the apple of their eye.
Edited on Jun 9, 2011 at 1:25amRe: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Wow! Okay, off I go! I'm on the corner where Bulvarden intersects with the tram, across from Specsavers Optikko--which way do I walk?
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Nope. Mind you, oftentimes when I speak Turkish very loudly and slowly to the Turks, they don't understand me. So I may not be the right person for this experiment.
Mar '11
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
I was surprised to learn how similar all of the Scandinavian languages are. Danish, Norwegian, and Swedish are closer than Spanish and French. Closer than Spanish and Portuguese, even. Had we another political history between these countries, we might consider them dialects of one language rather than three separate languages.
Icelandic, due to Iceland's remoteness, still keeps alive many of the strands of Old Norse.
But Finnland. Finnland. Despite bordering Russia and Sweden, has a COMPLETELY different language than either, and is not intelligible to native speakers of either. It is also a very difficult language for foreigners to learn.
Nov '10
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Crow's Nest:
But Finnland. Finnland. Despite bordering Russia and Sweden, has a COMPLETELY different language than either, and is not intelligible to native speakers of either. It is also a very difficult language for foreigners to learn. · Jun 9 at 1:41am
But most Finns are also fluent in Swedish -- and they lived under the Swedish yoke for a long time.
May '10
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Under the Swedish Yoke. That's a title. Of something.
Aug '10
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Claire Berlinski, Ed.:
Melatonin is the stuff that keeps your circadian rhythms intact (or the opposite, evidenced by your current condition.)
Melanin is the stuff that influences skin pigmentation.
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Instugator
Claire Berlinski, Ed.:
Melatonin is the stuff that keeps your circadian rhythms intact (or the opposite, evidenced by your current condition.)
Melanin is the stuff that influences skin pigmentation. · Jun 9 at 3:00am
Oh, heck, you're right. Corrected.
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
Instugator
Claire Berlinski, Ed.:
Melatonin is the stuff that keeps your circadian rhythms intact (or the opposite, evidenced by your current condition.)
Melanin is the stuff that influences skin pigmentation. · Jun 9 at 3:00am
Oh, heck, you're right. Corrected. · Jun 9 at 3:06am
And (remembering my manners)--thank you!
Mar '11
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
"I've yet to see anyone who looks like an immigrant. I must be walking through the wrong neighborhoods. " When I was in Denmark, admittedly some years ago, the immigrants I came across were hotel cleaning staff (from Southeast Asia apparently) and taxi drivers (Middle East?).
Oct '10
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Isn't Helsinki where the internet bulletin board was first created, by bored Finns escaping the winter cold?
Oct '10
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
I saw lots of Turkish immigrants in Amsterdam. It was cool, they had the most awesome restaurants (the Turkish version of "fast food" would go for $30 a meal here).
Apr '11
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Robert Lux
But most Finns are also fluent in Swedish -- and they lived under the Swedish yoke for a long time. · Jun 9 at 1:45am
That many Finns are proficient in Swedish is only indirectly a result of living "under the Swedish yoke for a long time". The direct reason for many present day Finns' proficiency in Swedish is because Finland is to this day an officially bilingual country (both Finnish and Swedish are official languages in Finland) and learning the other national language is a compulsory part of the school curriculum; in fact, proficiency in the other national language is a prerequisite for many jobs in Finland (especially in the public sector). Finnish-speaking Finns (the majority) have to learn Swedish at school while Swedish-speaking Finns (a minority) have to learn Finnish. And both languages are often used in the workplace. This situation is not uncommon in officially bilingual or multilingual countries.
Edited on Jun 9, 2011 at 4:47amMar '11
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Croix--you beat me to it. And its also true that most of Scandinavia can understand or speak Swedish to one degree or another.
My point was merely that Finnish shares so little with its linguistic neighbors and that this is quite striking in light of the history.
Jul '10
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
The Finns can drive.
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
You know, everyone, I don't think you're considering what I wrote quite carefully enough.
This is the most boring city I've ever seen. That actually does make it incredibly interesting--I'm not kidding about that. Think about the Chinese curse--"May you live in interesting times."
Why is Finland so blessed, precisely? Why is the birth rate high, why are the people cheerful and sober, why is there no news whatsoever to report from Helsinki?
I found a few Turkish immigrants. Is it just me, I asked? Is there anything at all happening here? They confirmed my initial instincts: No, they said, there is no news, nothing happening here, it's just boring.
Doesn't that make you wonder?
Nov '10
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
If you really want to get the most out of Finland, you need to understand sisu. I think it's difficult for most modern Westerners to grasp, especially these days.
Read the Kalevala, listen to Finlandia, or even go watch The Green Berets - John Wayne's character is based on the Finn Lauri Törni . All good starts. My start came way back in the dark ages, hitchhiking from Helsinki to Hammerfest, back when I had hormones. It's a fascinating, but somewhat introverted, culture.
Jun '10
Re: Hello-sinki! (Or: At Least the Internet is Free and Fast)
Happiness comes from having low enough expectations. Then, you're pleasantly surprised by your string of good luck. No buses ran you over today? It's a great day.