Hell no, my chardonnay won't go!
My daughter went back to school this morning and I regained my life and my morning touch-point with Ricochet!
Last Wednesday I flew to Santa Fe. The lines were horrendous, so my husband and I decided to carry on our bags, forgetting we had an expensive bottle of Far Niente Chardonnay nestled in our underwear. A birthday gift for our friend in New Mexico. Needless to say TSA took it. No surprise. But I was surprised that there was no system for retrieval. None. The only thing you can get back is a firearm...after your arrest. Nice.
The image of some bureaucrat kicking back with the fine wine he just happened to find amidst the shelves of six ounce shampoos really hacked me off. The goodly officer was kind enough to say if I had a friend, I could be ESCORTED back outside and hand it off. Luckily we had parked in a nearby lot, nearby being a mile, so I hoofed the lethal bottle back to my car, sweating and panting my way back in time for my plane.
The ultimate irony (and I hate irony) is that I don't drink wine. But hell if I'm giving it to the Feds.
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Jun '10
Re: Hell no, my chardonnay won't go!
I got caught by US Customs coming in from the Bahamas with Cuban cigars. I asked the agent what happened to the contraband. He said "We burn 'em -- one at a time."
Edited on Aug 30, 2010 at 8:17amJul '10
Re: Hell no, my chardonnay won't go!
And I thought I was the only one who keeps Chardonnay in my underwear.
May '10
Re: Hell no, my chardonnay won't go!
*BUZZ*
"Attention, all security officers: An unopened bottle of Far Niente is loose in the building. Seal all exits and begin contriband procedures. I repeat: Code White Bubbly."
Aug '10
Re: Hell no, my chardonnay won't go!
How far would one bottle of wine go between the fifty five TSA employees at that one entry point ? It would be like two tablespoons per person, or the equivalent of shutting down all airspace, while these booze fueled civil servants went on a body search rampage to find a couple of more bottles , to have a decent party !
Oh, sorry you missed your flight sir, but imagining that we give a damn might have been your first mistake .
Additionally, badges ? We don't need no stinkin' badges ! I work for Janet Napolitano !!
Jun '10
Re: Hell no, my chardonnay won't go!
Leaving San Francisco one time, I was almost strip searched because I made the mistake of flying in blue jeans, you know the ones with metal studs at the corners of the pocket seams. Grrrr!
May '10
Re: Hell no, my chardonnay won't go!
I am so thrilled this had a happy ending. Far Niente makes excellent wines and it would have been a complete waste on them.
Re: Hell no, my chardonnay won't go!
"Far niente" of course, comes from "dolce far niente" or "the sweetness of doing nothing." No wonder the TSA agent took a proprietary interest in it.