Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
This is inspired by Paul Erickson's recent "BC" post. I am a 12 year convert to conservatism (actually more of a revert). I admit I drank the Kool-Aid in college and law school. Thankfully, first hand experience seeing the legacy of Great Society programs in Appalachia woke me out of my liberal trance. My wife, continues to be quite proto-typically liberal (though she claims to be a moderate). I cannot get her to read anything by conservative authors (female or otherwise), watch conservative documentaries, see conservative speakers, or (God forbid) consider voting for conservative candidates. She just becomes angry if we discuss debate/issues. Serious question: has anyone ever managed to convince a liberal spouse (especially a wife) of the bankruptcy of the Liberal project and convert them to the conservative cause? If so, I would welcome insight into how you went about it. In particular, techniques for defeating the feminist critique would be most welcome. Much obliged.
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May '12
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
Have her do your taxes and after she figures out what a nightmare an overreaching federal gov't has become she may see things differently.
Jun '12
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
Brent, I wish that worked. She does do our taxes and thus far it has not helped. Of course, presently it is just my income. Perhaps when she goes back to work she will feel the pinch more....
Aug '10
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
I would advise against trying to convert her. Why give her a reason (or another reason) to be angry with you?
I was lucky, because although my wife was raised in a liberal, Democratic household, she did not have a strong allegiance to the cause. She did, however, believe in hard work, self-sufficiency, and prudent fiscal policy. Therefore, by hanging around with me for a few years, she became a conservative Republican with no effort on my part.
Edited on July 3, 2012 at 4:19pmJun '12
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
Solid advice Kev. Glad you have fared well!
Jan '11
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
I've taught my wife, a physician (i.e. credentialed), to talk a good game. (She's probably pandering to me and I'm unable to recognize it.) But her actions continue to be quite liberal.
She's like her own mini USA. She'll donate a bunch of cash to Haiti and then borrow money to pay her credit card.
Jun '12
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
@Yeah..ok, LOL. My wife already has the liberal spending habits, but as yet no good game talk.
May '10
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
Leave a copy of Bastiat's "The Law" in the bathroom reading stack or on the nightstand. She wouldn't have to read much to pique her interest, just don't ask her to read it! Let her discover it :)
Mar '12
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
Does she have something that appeals to her that is contrary to liberal orthodoxy? Pro-life? Sound money? Annoyed with taxation? Of late, in favor of leaving religion free of encumbrance by the federal government? That lever may be the means to steer her bit by bit into conservatism.
None of those? Perhaps she could be caused to examine why she is for abortion? Against sound money? For federal intervention in all areas of human existence? Gently.
Nov '11
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
Another good choice is David Mamet's The Secret Knowledge, which is excellent. A writer like Mamet can attract readers who would otherwise be resistant.
Sep '10
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
I tried to convert my wife of 18 years and at times we were on the outs over politics and it became a sore subject. I pretty much gave up. Then gradually she has been coming around. There have to be a lot of factors, but the biggest one is her patients (she's a psychoanalyst) and her dealings with city/state agencies. She's not a citizen so she can't vote (I joke about that with her) but she would not vote for Obama at this point.
I would advise you to lay off - almost entirely if you can. Another thing I find generally useful is to delink discussions out of Republican/Democrat paradigms.
What actually helped me make better arguments was when I stopped *loving* G.W. Bush in 2006. I never hit on the "both parties are bad" line too much but it was clear that I wasn't some sort of Republican patsy.
I could say Republicans are bad, but Democrats are worse and here's why. This is what I fear about Democrats and leftism and what it does.
Focusing on the ideas and assumptions behind the politics makes things clearer and less confrontational.
Jun '12
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
@ Katie and Sandy: I have read Mamet's book and recommended it, she has hinted that she may check that out. I am not familiar with Bastiat's "The Law" but will get it ASAP. Many thanks!
@ all others: thanks for tips, I appreciate your concerns on not hard selling, I assure you I am not. I realized that defeating via argument did not work. So I have been trying to find a soft sell, but thus far been unsuccessful.
If any women on here are conservative converts, I'd be interested as to what/how moved you from left to right.
May '10
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
I think Donald Todd has hit on it. My husband was conservative long before I left the left and joined him :) For years I felt he was dead wrong...even betrayed by his conversion. I didn't want to know his reasons, because I "knew" Republicans were evil. I didn't start to open my eyes until it became clear that my pro-life views had no home on the left. If conservatives were right about this most important issue, what else was I missing?! I started to read everything i could get my hands on. Mostly libertarian stuff...easier path for a lefty imo. He never pushed me, he let me find my way.
Dec '11
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
I am taking the biblical approach. I testify by the way I live my life.
Jun '10
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
My wife was never a liberal--apolitical would be a better definition. By talking ("railing" might be a better verb) for years about the stupidity of liberal thought and policies, her naturally conservative instincts have come out.
She's well informed, but hates to study candidates, so she's always relied on my recommendations (or so she says). So, just like the Dems control the votes of dead people, I pretty much get to vote twice (once for me, once for her).
My adult children are all conservatives. That's the good news. The bad news is that they all live in Utah where we have no great shortage. I'm trying to get them all to move temporarily to Ohio or Pennsylvania. Or to Colorado (where we once lived).
Edited on July 3, 2012 at 7:15pmJan '12
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
That is so good. I hope you don't mind if I plagiarize it and substitute UK for USA. Oh the joys of the global web. It's great to share the adventure of being in the same sinking boat together.
Yeah...ok.:
She's like her own mini USA. She'll donate a bunch of cash to Haiti and then borrow money to pay her credit card. ยท 2 hours ago
Jun '12
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
I am hoping that she has a similar experience. I don't push my views but I do defend conservative views/critiques, especially when something on NPR (which I must sufer through every morning) sets me off. She is not, alas, pro-life (yet!), but I get the sense that she is starting to have some cognitive dissonance with the liberal project. Have any of you seen "Fire from Heartland"? I wish I could get her to!!!
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
I'm getting married in 4 weeks to a man I've known for 10 years. When we first met, he described himself as "independent" or "moderate," but the views he expressed were quite liberal. He voted Democrat because a) that's how his parents, whom he respects a lot, vote; and b) he'd always been convinced that the Democrats care about the "little guy."
Head-on arguments to convince him that point b is just not true always fail and lead to hurt feelings. So instead, I focus on the one issue that he really cares a lot about: the pro-life agenda. Despite his tendency to side with liberals on domestic policy, he just can't get past the liberals' habit of killing babies. The only reason he voted for McCain in '08 was because he was persuaded that a President Obama would do harm to the cause of life with his Supreme Court picks and his stance on abortion.
And aside from focusing on pro-life topics, I consistently point out how liberal policies hurt us personally. For instance, our health insurance premiums have risen since the passage of Obamacare.
Jun '12
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
Diane Ellis, Ed.: Head-on arguments to convince him that point b is just not truealways fail and lead to hurt feelings. So instead, I focus on the one issue that he really cares a lot about: the pro-life agenda. Despite his tendency to side with liberals on domestic policy, he just can't get past the liberals' habit of killing babies. The only reason he voted for McCain in '08 was because he was persuaded that a President Obama would do harm to the cause of life with his Supreme Court picks and his stance on abortion.
And aside from focusing on pro-life topics, I consistently point out how liberal policies hurt us personally. For instance, our health insurance premiums have risen since the passage of Obamacare. ยท 11 minutes ago
Thanks Diane!
Dec '11
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
My humble advice is to respectfully listen to your wife. Let there be some honest give and take. Be willing to read books you don't agree with. Give validity to the often good goals that liberal have. Apologize for the very thing that you see in her, that is being closed-minded. I know all these things are probably counter-intuitive and probably go against the grain but shouldn't we be the "big ears" party.
For me I can stand my wife being wrong. It is when she's right that I can't stand it. :-)
Edited on July 4, 2012 at 9:26amJun '12
Re: Has Anyone Ever Sucessfully Converted a Liberal Spouse to the Conservative Cause?
10 cents, not bad advice. I am open to her views, and have repeatedly offered to read any book she wants me to read if she'll read one I want her to. No luck. I do recognize the desirable goals liberal want to achieve, as I was one for awhile. The goals are often the same, just the means that are so divergent. Thanks and have a great 4th!