Halloween: The Aftermath
Is this conversation familiar to anyone?
ME: No Maggie, you can’t have M&Ms until you finish your dinner.
MAGGIE (two years old): M&Ms.
ME: No Maggie, finish your dinner first.
MAGGIE: M&Ms.
ME: After dinner Maggie.
MAGGIE: M&Msss!!
ME: No, again, not until you finish your dinner! (angry tone)
MAGGIE: M&Msss!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ME: Please just finish your dinner…(plaintive, resigned tone)
MAGGIE: M&Ms.
ME: Just two more bites, okay?
MAGGIE: Look, you and I both know how this plays out. You can’t break me. I will get down now, not having finished my dinner. In about 45 minutes you’re going to want some peace and quiet—maybe read a magazine, talk to Mom (without me involved), answer an email or two, use the bathroom (alone)—whatever. That all goes much easier when you give me the M&Ms. So give them to me now—then I will give you, give you, the next 45 minutes. My gift to you. Really.
ME: Here you go.
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Comments:
Oct '11
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
I had that exact same conversation last night, except about a Tootsie Roll. Nothing like a little psychological warfare between you and a 2 year old.
May '11
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
Yep, but I have two young girls, ages 4 and 7, so multiply that times two.
May '10
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
By baby number 5, I'd learned to avoid those direct my-will-against-yours encounters as often as possible.
It's all about re-direction.
Mar '11
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
Ellyn Satter (www.ellynsatter.com) is a respected authority on feeding and eating.
Here are her thoughts on the sticky topic of Halloween candy:
http://www.ellynsatter.com/october-22-2008-family-meals-focus-30-the-sticky-topic-of-halloween-candy-i-129.html
Mar '11
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
My tactic is to pretend I don't understand.
I want M&Ms!!
No thanks, I'm not hungry.
While their little minds try to make sense of Dad I run away.
Sep '11
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
Casey
My tactic is to pretend I don't understand.
I want M&Ms!!
No thanks, I'm not hungry.
While their little minds try to make sense of Dad I run away. · Nov 3 at 2:17pm
Brilliant! I will try it and get back to you.
Edited on November 3, 2011 at 11:35pmMar '11
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
All of you above: If you can't stand up to your kids, wait until the grandkids show up. And you know something? The first person who will tear you to ribbons for giving in to the grandkids is that same kid you indulged when he/she was 4. I speak from hard experience.
Edited on November 3, 2011 at 11:18pmMar '11
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
On Halloween night, we let our boys stay up as long as they want and gorge themselves on candy. No limits. After that it's two pieces a day until it's all gone. That first night takes care of most of the good stuff (chocolate). My boys are past the adorable chubby-cheeked toddler stage, though. Those cute cheeks contain an evil that can break the sternest of men.
Dec '10
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
Am I the only one who has ever had that conversation with himself?
Aug '10
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
Wait, I'm confused. This isn't a OWS metaphor?
Aug '10
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
That's why I like being an uncle. Uncles are allowed to be mean in a way parents cannot. Heh heh heh.
Sep '11
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
Tell her they're all gone, then eat them after she goes to bed. Win/win.
Apr '11
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
I let my kids eat ALL of their candy immediately. It's completely gone in 3 days tops - usually 2 days. I would much rather they get it over with as quickly as possible and go back to a normal no candy schedule.
When my kids were really small, I limited their TorT'ing to just a few houses, thus limiting how much candy they collected.
As a kid I had little respect for the kids who stretched it out and would still have candy at Christmas time. Way to self-disciplined and self-satisfied.
Edited on November 4, 2011 at 12:25amJun '11
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
Q: What's the difference between a toddler and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
May '10
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
Here's one of the things I learned avoiding those battles-of-the-will:
A small child can go for weeks eating nothing but hot dogs--breakfast, lunch and dinner--without any adverse health consequences.
Who would've thought?
Oct '10
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
Misthiocracy
That's why I like being an uncle. Uncles are allowed to be mean in a way parents cannot. Heh heh heh. · Nov 3 at 4:08pm
Try being a scary Grand Dad... Insert Halloween noise here.....
May '11
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
FG above got pretty close to the truth which is you never negotiate with either. You ask your child what they would like for dinner when they are old enough to cook it for you. There is some sarcastic hyperbole in that statement but it is my well considered response to what I see is an epidemic of parents who do not know what their role is.
Jun '10
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
Flagg: Welcome to parenthood. It only gets worse. Then they grow up and become parents: it's sweet revenge watching them squirm through the same issues you're going through.
So you need to keep thinking long-term. In the short-term, let her eat it all as fast as possible. Then you can get back to a slightly more disciplined life.
Aug '10
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
When my cat demands more food, I shut him up by giving him catnip.
Maybe that advice isn't applicable in this case?
Dec '10
Re: Halloween: The Aftermath
Actually, your kid and I agree, when it comes to M&Ms.
I use Casey's approach when it comes to panhandlers; it's a thing of confusing beauty. It stops them all in their tracks.