Halloween: Death and Taxes
In life, nothing is certain but death and taxes. Naturally, what better time to learn this than at Halloween?
Growing up, my family had a series of Halloween rituals. After first getting us installed in our costumes, one or both parents would take my brother and me out around the neighborhood until a) someone complained of fatigue; b) someone complained about the temperature; and/or c) we were sufficiently content with our booty.
When we got back home, the very first thing we had to do was empty our stash out on the kitchen table so that my dad could "inspect" it. Allegedly he was inspecting for suspicious looking candy, but we knew he was really taking stock of the prize items (Twix, Snickers, Butterfinger, Almond Joy).
And then, the moment we kids dreaded. "Time to levy a tax!" my dad would gleefully announce. We had no say in what he took, although that didn't keep us from making suggestions that he take that really great looking dum-dum, pleeeease. Dad took 10 percent of our stash, give or take. If we protested, which we learned was futile, we'd get the speech about how it was rightfully his because he had funded our costumes, made sure there was food on the table ever day of the year and, come to think of it, he was being generous allowing us to keep as much as we did.
Now I realize my father was cleverly using Halloween as a teachable moment to instill in our developing minds an understanding (and also a distaste) of how the government works. No wonder my siblings and I turned out to be conservatives.
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May '10
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
If only producing real wealth were as easy as walking around the neighborhood with a pillowcase and requesting it be filled with money. The fact that wealth is generated as the result of hard work even amplifies the principle behind your anecdote. It's one thing to take a cut of something that is bountiful and free. The well-earned fruits of one's labors are all the more precious yet just as easily taken away.
Edited on Oct 28, 2011 at 10:55amApr '11
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Of course, when the government puts food on your table, takes care of housing, and generally supplies your wants and needs in other ways, you tend not to be taxed much or at all. Nowadays, those who pay the taxes also need to buy their own food, pay their own mortgages or rent, etc. Your dad had a far more legitimate claim to his "candy tax." And only 10%? Sheesh, I think he was being generous!
My mom made no pretense of "taxing" or making it teachable in any way -- she was a Democrat. She took most of the candy and dumped it. The good stuff went in the freezer to be doled out in a miserly way over the next few months. Very much like soviet communism, huh? The fun was always more in the getting than the eating for me, anyway, so I do not recall minding a bit. Amazing that I turned out to be conservative. :-)
Mar '11
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
I have also implemented a Daddy Tax. Tax on Goldfish crackers is really high.
In protest, the children have occupied my house.
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Sounds teachable to me, Justine. Your mom was just preparing you for the Obama stimulus!
May '10
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Diane Ellis, Ed.
Sounds teachable to me, Justine. Your mom was just preparing you for the Obama stimulus! · Oct 28 at 11:05am
So half the candy that was "dumped in the garbage" was actually distributed to her friends and political connections in the green jobs industry, who pocketed some and dumped the rest in the garabage.
Dec '10
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
My kids are trained to just give me all the Reese's peanut butter cups as soon as they get home. Beyond that, I go in for hidden taxes every time I filch a snickers when they're not looking.
Aug '11
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
I want to know if those confiscated taxes were spent wisely!
Nov '10
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
I've had fun playing "The Game of Life" with my 9-year-old daughter recently. I love it when she says, "I hate income taxes."
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
I always hated the Luxury Tax and the Income Tax squares in "Monopoly."
Jul '10
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Unfortunately, this year fewer People will be enjoying PayDays.
May '10
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Reminds me of the time I spent all my birthday money when I was about 10, instead of "saving" it. I spent my entire childhood yearning to be irresponsible just once more.
Now I can afford candy, but can't eat it or I'll get fat. Life is unfair.....
Apr '11
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Do kids actually walk neighborhoods anymore? We've had no more than three kids in as many years. One particularly cute one got the entire bowl of candy. In our town there are events at several places, malls, churches, but it seems very little house to house work. What about in your towns?
Edited on Oct 28, 2011 at 11:42amAug '10
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
It's much better to be upfront and demand the "tax". My wife and I sneak into our children's post-Halloween stashes and skim off all the good stuff. Am I proud of it? No. Can I stop myself? No.
Jul '10
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Wanna teach 'em a lesson? Tell Them before hand that Anyone comes back with a 100
Grand in Their bag that the tax rate is increased to 50%.
Will They refuse it at the door or hide it later?
Jul '10
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Jimmy Carter: Wanna teach 'em a lesson? Tell Them before hand that Anyone comes back with a 100
Grand in Their bag that the tax rate is increased to 50%.
Will They refuse it at the door or hide it later? · Oct 28 at 12:00pm
Or, tell all the kids in the neighborhood that everyone's loot has to be shared equally between all the kids. That's the only 'fair' way to do it
May '10
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Sam Dominguez: Do kids actually walk neighborhoods anymore? We've had no more than three kids in as many years. One particularly cute one got the entire bowl of candy. In our town there are events at several places, malls, churches, but it seems very little house to house work. What about in your towns? · Oct 28 at 11:41am
Edited on Oct 28 at 11:42 am
Yes, they do where we live, but they look down a street to see if the outside lights are on. If not enough houses are "open for business" they skip the block. Bad investment of time.
In our cul-de-sac, there is only one kid now (24 years ago, it was all kids), and she is 15, her parents are gone evenings a lot. We are the only ones who put out the pumpkin, turn on the lights, and have candy available. We've had one trick-or-treater in 3 years.
Jan '11
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Herman Cain takes nine nine nine of each of his kid's candies. Perry takes a flat rate across all socio-economic strata, regardless of whether some kids end up with better quality candies. Bachmann can't figure out who to apply the candy tax to, as the number of her children changes every minute. And finally, Newt is able to out debate his children into paying whatever candy tax he wants.
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Ron Paul would let you keep all your hard earned candy.
Mar '11
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Mitt Romney produces a 100+ page plan (with footnotes, of course) containing 59 points explaining that the final disposition of each and every piece of candy will be carefully and thoughtfully considered before he wastes most of it.
Aug '11
Re: Halloween: Death and Taxes
Kids still run from house to house, trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. Lots and lots of kids. And few if any slouchy teenagers. It's almost old-fashioned in a way.