Game Show Czar
I know I should wait until it’s official, but I’m too darned excited to keep the news to myself. I have it on very good authority I am about to be named Federal Game Show Czar. When I expressed concern about Senate confirmation hearings to my source, he laughed and said, “What hearings? You’re a Czar!”
My primary duty, if I understand correctly, will be to level the playing field when it comes to television game shows. Each show will be required to file forms with my office (gosh, I like the sound of that) indicating they’ve complied with our yet-to-be-fully-determined ground rules. We will monitor the audition process with an eye toward determining that special efforts have been made to recruit members of all groups, particularly those who have been traditionally underrepresented in the genre. (See, I’m already talking like a Czar!)
We certainly won’t impose quotas, but we will establish minimum percentages that will trigger fines or possible imprisonment if left unmet following sufficient notice of noncompliance. We will also be sure people aren’t discriminated against because they lack certain skills. Is it really fair to eliminate a large portion of the population from Jeopardy!, for example, because they were unable to gain a sufficient education? Why not have expert helpers available to these people who can assist them during the audition process as well as during the show itself? (I think I just came up with my first Czar initiative. This is going to be great!)
While recognizing the competitive nature of game shows, it might also be time to rethink the outdated concept of winners and losers. Why not talk about alternatives such as adding all the winnings together and dividing them among all the players? In addition to appealing to the basic idea of fairness, it will foster a kind of cooperation among people that will be a valuable life lesson to viewers, especially the children. It really is about the children.
I’ve been assured by my source that the idea isn’t for the government to take over TV game shows, but, rather, to be sure all Americans have the opportunity to participate regardless of...well, regardless of anything. My office will not get involved with any of the formats or the rules, unless, of course, we determine such formats or rules are, by their very nature, discriminatory.
As Czar, my responsibility is to all the people, and I plan to take that responsibility seriously. I’m told the official announcement is just days away, and I’ll tell you more when it happens. Meantime, I have to work on the wording of my business cards. I can’t wait to tell the Czarina!
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Comments :
May '10
Re: Game Show Czar
You're not ready for prime time Pat if you talk like that. You need to ensure that all your exciting new initiatives are fully funded (which they won't be, giving you a ready-made excuse).
May '10
Re: Game Show Czar
Joe -- You don't need to go to the 1970's. Price controls are alive and well in 2010. The government has just proposed a very complex series of price controls for trade schools. They don't like how much money students are borrowing and have set out to save them from themselves.
Re: Game Show Czar
G _ M E SHOW CZ_R
Gnome Show Car!
Re: Game Show Czar
Unfortunately, Pat, I have a video of you -- well, actually, hundreds and hundreds of them -- advocating the giving out of "prizes" based solely on irrelevant word games. So I think they're going to have to fire you.
Wait. Hold up. Just reviewed some of the tapes. It seems that you allow people to choose their own prizes.
You're rehired. Sorry for the confusion.
Boy, that was a great teaching moment, wasn't it?