Follow Your Heart
Casey ·
March 2, 2012 at 4:32pm
41-year-old High School teacher James Hooker has fallen in love with an 18-year-old girl. The girl is his student. He has known her since she was 14. He has left his wife and children to be with her.
This just seems wrong to me.
"In making our choice, we've hurt a lot of people," Hooker acknowledged. "We keep asking ourselves, 'Do we make everyone else happy or do we follow our hearts?' "
Good point, Hooker. Doing the right thing just to make other people happy is really kind of stupid. Much better to do the wrong thing and make yourself happy.
I shouldn't have been so judgmental.
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Comments:
Jun '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
I give them about a year and a half to decide that this was about the stupidest thing they've ever done or ever will do.
Oct '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
After my mother-in-law's death, my wife's father assumed a new bride, an 18 year old former student of his. No fool like an old fool. They lasted about five years, but Paula was a lot dumber than your average twit. He went on to marry, then, an old Iranian shrew, who cleaned him out. Next cane the one he moved in with, and died in bed with. She had set up their affairs so she wouldn't lose too big.
Did I mention something about old fools?
A year and a half is about right in most cases.
Nov '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
Early front runner for understatement of the year...
"This just seems wrong to me."
Jan '11
Re: Follow Your Heart
Don't give Casey any ideas.
The next thing you know, we'll see another fill-in-the-blank post.
The stupidest thing I have ever done was ____________.
Dec '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
In reading the article on Fox this morning, there were multiple quotes from the girl's mother. My question would be - where is the girl's father (and his shotgun)?
Aug '11
Re: Follow Your Heart
To my understanding, the girl's father passed away recently.
Jul '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
[during dinner]
"...and Tanya said she saw Tammy and Chris holding hands in the hallway between classes? And I'm like OMG? So, Tanya didn't say anything to Jenny? And..."
"Uh uh."
"...I heard Jenny was like talking to Robert anyway? So, I don't think it's going to work? And...
"Uh uh"
"...Mr. Jones is being like really hard on us in English class? I'm like OMG! He's always giving us homework? And..."
"Uh uh."
May '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
Memo to Hooker:
You can't get happiness by inflicting harm and injustice on others. Temporary pleasure, yes. Not abiding happiness.
Edited on March 2, 2012 at 4:35pmNov '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
And suddenly the nefarious plan begins to reveal itself.
By the way, nice Alex Ross Captain Marvel icon. Shazam, indeed.
May '11
Re: Follow Your Heart
People who merely "follow their hearts" have no emotional maturity. For a 41 year old man to use a tired cliche from bad "chick flicks" is downright pathetic. At least he acknowledges he's done harm. Maybe he's not a total sociopath.
Nov '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
Special Note From Daddy...
"Don't"
Hey, Boo.
Don't EVER, EVER, EVER date your high school teacher. Especially when you are still in high school. Even if I happen to have recently passed away.
Brave and Careful...Safe and Strong
Daddy
Sep '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
This guy is definitely a pervert.
Dec '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
No doubt about it - he was following a part of his anatomy other than his heart.
Dec '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
I don't think people should consider other people's feelings at all when choosing a spouse. The whole point of a spouse is that you place them "above all others". The one exception to that would be any children involved.
That said, at 18 years old you are not a real person yet. The person you are at 18 and the person you will be at 26 are very different. Its not a matter of emotional maturity relative to other people, its a matter of emotional maturity relative to oneself. At 18 you haven't finished developing and for him to highjack her developmental process is extremely selfish.
Aug '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
It feels like he is setting up a defense for the inevitable charges that will come with statutory rape indictment.
In our culture, we don't follow our hearts around girls who were 14 when he started breaking the law.
May '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
It's the Romantic Sexuality myth that our culture has fully embraced.
If your romantic emotions say so, anything goes. If your emotions die or go away, it doesn't matter who else you hurt, you have to be "true" to your feelings and yourself and "follow your heart." In fact, you are doing your lifelong partner an injustice by sticking around when your emotions are not in it.
How about the psychologically proven concept that your heart often follows your actions? If you dress the part, you'll act the part. If you say something aloud, it gives you more power to live it. If you stay truly committed even when you don't feel it, your feelings generally realign.
The problem is that people are unfaithful in their minds first. They let one thought lead to another, until they are emotionally involved, and then they use their "feelings" to justify the fact that they were unfaithful to start with by toying with the idea of another lover.
May '11
Re: Follow Your Heart
Nyadnar17:
That said, at 18 years old you are not a real person yet.
Don't give the after-birth abortion advocates any ideas.
Sep '11
Re: Follow Your Heart
katievs: Memo to Hooker:
You can't get happiness by inflicting harm and injustice on others. Temporary pleasure, yes. Not abiding happiness. · 41 minutes ago
Edited 17 minutes ago
While it wasn't an old man and his student, a person in my family left his wife for another woman in a particularly hurtful, and spectacularly selfish way. Your statement is a perfect distillation of what I would say to him if I ever spoke to him again. Thanks.
Mar '11
Re: Follow Your Heart
I don' know what is wrong with all of you. Such superior santimoniousness. Preaching from on-high. My goodness - can't you just let people be happy? It is *their* set of choices, and their lives, after all!
[Of course, I agree with most comments here. But my contrarian nature revolts against consensus.]
Aug '10
Re: Follow Your Heart
Men, remember the formula:
Divide by two and add six!
But seriously, the worst part of this is hardly the age difference. It's that he was also in loco parentis and that he already had a wife and kids.