Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
Take away the air ride seats, the plush interior, the television, book shelves, stereo system and more. Take away all the creature comforts and communications technology, and you are still left with a beast of a vehicle weighing in at 80,000 lbs., moving night and day, chained only to a relentlessly unforgiving freight schedule. The hard reality is that for many people, it's a hard life. This, I believe, is the main lesson from the lovely Mrs. Carter's two weeks on the road with me.
What, for me and others is an adventure can become something quite different for those unaccustomed to such a nomadic existence. My bride goes home today with a new-found respect for things like indoor plumbing, being able to go to any business in town that has a parking lot big enough for a car, being able to drive without worrying about low hanging limbs, power lines or bridges, and being able to sleep without hearing the rumble of diesel engines and the "sneeze" of air compressors. She no longer has to worry about rolling out of bed because we parked at a truckstop on a mountainside. She can shower every day in her own clean home, rather than a dingy truck stop shower (for the price of $10). She no longer has to get up so early that she could wake The Almighty himself, just so she can find a poorly marked warehouse and be subjected to the insufferable attitude of its employees. When she needs to go home, she can do so without first doing battle with dispatchers who think that you can go to Florida from New Jersey by way of Connecticut.
Amazingly enough to me, she isn't enamored of this lifestyle. She certainly respects the workload, the physical demands, and the skill necessary to maneuver a vehicle this size in confined spaces. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry when she saw me, completely lost in Jersey City, on the phone with the warehouse trying to find the place only to listen to the warehouse employees argue with each other over how to find their facility. I finally had to bid the gentlemen goodnight and abandon all efforts to pick up the load. For some incomprehensible reason, my wife doesn't find it appealing to be so utterly lost and frustrated, only to have to stop for the night at a service center without shower facilities or healthy food choices. As for me, I'm stumped as to why anyone would reject such a lifestyle.
She is now safely ensconced once more in her familiar world of healthy food, step aerobics, dependable schedules, and indoor plumbing. As for me, I have a few days to rest. But I can hear the open road calling, its promise of rich experiences across this great country beckoning a restless spirit to keep moving, to live large and live at large. I may be a hopeless case in this regard, but I'm never bored.
- Comment (16)
- · Quote
- · UnfollowFollow (1)
Comments :
Aug '10
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
This should be made into a bumper sticker.
May '10
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
I'm not too sure you made it clear enough, I mean it was the missus with the lipstick, right?
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
EJHill, of course it was The Missus who wore the lipstick. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to put that mess on the truck's grill? Then, all it takes is one rain shower and all that work washes away. Besides, the wrong shade of lipstick on the truck makes the trailer look fat.
May '10
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
Which begs the question that hits a lot of older trucks: Airshocks or Botox? Personally I think Madam Speaker went for the shocks...
Aug '10
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
EJHill
Which begs the question that hits a lot of older trucks: Airshocks or Botox?
I wasn't aware that questions could hit trucks, though it does remind me of my old chemistry teacher, who kept on talking about folks who were struck by an idea and killed.
Jul '10
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
The call of the open road...you either hear it or you don't. It's impossible to explain it to someone who hasn't heard it. Driving all night across the plains or up and down the coast, it's an itch that must be scratched. Love the post, Dave!
May '10
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
And since you weren't aware, that means you're probably not insured for it either. Say, you're driving along and you're hit by a profound question - one that blows through the stop light at the cross street - then what do you do? Where do you turn for answers?
There's a government program for this....
Jun '10
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
Hi Dave,
I've always been curious, how does one break into the trucking business? Do you have to buy your own rig right away, like a mortgage that you pay off over the years of driving? Do you sign up with a company right away?....Is there a way to pay your dues as a younger trucker that wears off over time, or is the lifestyle pretty much the same for all stages of drivers?
Thanks,
SG
May '10
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
Oh, my gosh this is so funny. I can't believe the title, either. This afternoon I was sitting in my car in a parking lot and had a lipstick question for Dave. I swear it's true. I was wondering if he ever had a truckload of lipstick to transport during the summer and how he kept them from melting.
May '10
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
Samwise Gamgee: Hi Dave,
I've always been curious, how does one break into the trucking business? Do you have to buy your own rig right away, like a mortgage that you pay off over the years of driving? Do you sign up with a company right away?....Is there a way to pay your dues as a younger trucker that wears off over time, or is the lifestyle pretty much the same for all stages of drivers?
Thanks,
SG · Oct 15 at 7:29pm
I'm so happy you asked that. I was wondering about that, too.
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
Samwise, I got into the industry with a company that trained its own drivers. They paid for the training, motel and meals. I owed them a year of driving in return. Since I've spent years in much worse places than a truck, it was an easy proposition to accept. Ive elected not to become an owner operator since small businesses have a big fat bulls eye on them right now. For those who do buy a truck, yes, it is like a mortgage with payments of $500 and more per week. Lastly, I can't say that anyone in this job ever stops paying their dues. Unloading the trailer, sliding tandems in snow or sweltering heat, etc., the work does not respect age.
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
Andrea, of all the really weird loads I've hauled, from Jeff Gordon's race car to perfume oil, I've never hauled lipstick. I would think it would transport via a refrigerated trailer, but I'm not sure. I do remember pulling a trailer full of "sanitary napkins" once through Birmingham, AL, when a hurricane came through. My sister called, fervently hoping the napkins had "wings" so I could fly over the storm and be on my way. Then there was the time I had a load of bourbon and I was chasing Coca-Cola trucks...
Jun '10
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
Dave, bourbon is to be imbibed straight or perhaps with a touch of branch water, save the coke for your Big Macs. After all you gotta wash that special sauce down with something. Speaking of valuable cargos, do you worry about hijackers, or is that not an issue?
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
Cas, hijackers are not much of a problem in trucking, but outright load theft certainly is. There are instances where a driver emerges from the restaurant to find that his truck and trailer have been stolen. Someone once broke into my trailer while I was sound asleep. I talked to another driver who had been driving through Newark when two men jumped onto the rear of his trailer with crow bars and tried to break open the trailer while the vehicle was in motion. Their effort failed, but he didn't slow down until he reached Carlisle, PA. Think about it. A trailer full of electronics could be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, and Christmas is around the corner.
May '10
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
You left me hanging! Did you get the Coca-Cola trucks?
Re: Even With Lipstick, It's Still Truckin'
Andrea, unhappily I didn't catch the Coca-Cola truck. If I had, the next mission would have involved a Doritos shipment.