En Route to Boston (Maybe)
"Folks," the captain said, "we're havin' jus' a liddle problem with the public address system in the back of the plane. Bear with us for just a few minutes while the fellas from maintenance take a look. But don't worry. They're tellin' us we'll have a good tailwind today, so we should still get you to Boston on time." "A few minutes" turned into half an hour. Then another half an hour. When people began asking why we needed a public address system in the back of the plan in the first place, a stewardess (stewardperson?) replied, not very soothingly, that she had to be able to reach the captain if a fire broke out in one of the aft restrooms. After two hours the captain announced that the flight had been cancelled.
Feeling sorry for myself as I sit in the airport, waiting to get rebooked, I sent a text just now to Dr. Savage, entrepreneur, man of the world--he just attended some sort of high tech conference in the unlikely location of Buckingham Palace--and avid pilot. His reply:
Old pilot saying: Better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air than vice versa.
That shut me up.
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May '10
Re: En Route to Boston (Maybe)
I bet there are a great many "pilot sayings," that are wise. I think we often forget that it is a bit more complicated than serving fast food.
May '10
Re: En Route to Boston (Maybe)
Peter, I think the words you wanted to describe a person who is "primarily concerned with and responsible for your safety" on flights, in addition to passing out the drinks and peanuts, is "flight attendant".
Re: En Route to Boston (Maybe)
Peter, we were at Buckingham Palace Wednesday for cocktails, yesterday was lunch at the House of Lords, and tonight I am just returned from dinner at the Reform Club (Gladstone being the most famous member, but Winston Spencer Churchill called the club home during his days as a liberal). If I have to attend a medical conference, this sure beats Las Vegas, at least for me, since I never win at gambling.
One unexpected pleasure tonight was getting to know Princeton healthcare economist Uwe Reinhardt, who, unsurprisingly, is a deep thinker, but also delightfully warm and engaging.
May '10
Re: En Route to Boston (Maybe)
Here's a good list, including this one:
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
Re: En Route to Boston (Maybe)
Dean Martin: "I was on a plane once and we lost an engine."
Foster Brooks: "Dont worry, it will turn up somewhere."
May '10
Re: En Route to Boston (Maybe)
Pilot: We just lost one of two engines.
Worried Man: How far can we go on one engine?
Ron White: All the way to the crash site. Oh, don't worry. We'll be the first ones there!
May '10
Re: En Route to Boston (Maybe)
Mark Steyn dines at Buckingham Palace once a week when he's not hobnobbing with Austrian princes and ancient vaudevillians.
Re: En Route to Boston (Maybe)
Caroline, I think I saw Mr. Steyn standing next to the Duke of York, but by the time I worked my way over there he was gone.
May '10
Re: En Route to Boston (Maybe)
That pilot sound straight out of the "How to sound like Chuck Yeager" school from The Right Stuff.
Jun '10
Re: En Route to Boston (Maybe)
A fighter pilot was taking an incentive ride on a B-52. He heard a bang, looked out the window, and yelled "we've lost an engine!" The bomber pilot calmly looks out to see one engine with a large chunk out of the cowling and says, "yeah, I can see that." The fighter jock asks the bomber pro "aren't you worried?" The bomber pilot responds "Naw, we got seven more."
Re: En Route to Boston (Maybe)
Useless items for a pilot: altitude above, runway behind, and air in the tanks.