Education Through Conversation
If Ricochet embodies any lesson, it's the educational potential of casual conversation.
As I was getting a tire repaired today, I spoke with an Air Force veteran who taught me a little about the history of Continental Airlines, USAF bases around the country and how they have been adapted or closed, obsolete air-conditioning systems of the 1970s, and how a boy's unfamiliarity with firearms contributed to the tragic death of his son. All of this in less than an hour. Last time I was in a tire shop, I had a long conversation with a friend of Ted Poe, my Congressman, about the challenges of being a junior Representative.
I can't even begin to recount all the knowledge and perspective I have acquired through casual conversations with associates and with strangers. Some persons — like the sort so regularly found on Ricochet — relay such a wealth of experience that I would gladly trade half my books for a weekend of chatting on a back porch.
Formal education has its benefits, too, of course. But there's so much to be learned that is not prefaced by a cover or description. Inviting conversations with strangers is a skill I am only beginning to learn, but one well worth pursuing.
Do Ricochet's more sociable members have any tips for striking up more-than-topical conversations with strangers?
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Sep '10
Re: Education Through Conversation
Totally with ya Aaron. I've learned more from conversations than just about anywhere else.
It seems you already have a personality that people trust, so I have no advice, except for that being a podcast junkie - I listen mostly to Adam Carolla, but if you want to hear someone who can do a great in-depth interview and blow your mind with what info he gets from his guests ,listen to Marc Maron's WTF podcast.
Mar '11
Re: Education Through Conversation
Have you tried saying "Last question..."?
Jul '11
Re: Education Through Conversation
Figures this would end up page.
Edited on April 19, 2012 at 5:14pmNov '10
Re: Education Through Conversation
Ask open ended questions that begin with "How..."
May '11
Re: Education Through Conversation
On a post a while back on the use of cellphones on airplanes, I said that the only thing I wanted to hear on a plane flight is,"Here is your martini, sir". Actually that was my usual sarcastic hyperbole. Although I rarely initiate conversation when seated next to a stranger, I have found that the people who do initiate conversation, usually have something they want to talk about and I rarely know anything about it. For me, the best conversations are about subjects that I know very little about. And that leaves room for a great many interesting conversations.
Dec '10
Re: Education Through Conversation
My sister, Trink, is an expert at this and advocates teaching it to children. You might consider developing an interview technique, because, as she says, almost everyone wants to answer questions about himself or herself. The trick is to be sincerely interested, though. If you're too aggressive, you'll scare people off the way Mike Wallace did, may he RIP.
Jul '11
Re: Education Through Conversation
WC, I've done that with my wannabe writer daughter and it worked wonders. Good point.
Aug '10
Re: Education Through Conversation
I think most people's memory of a great conversation is one where they did most of the talking. With that in mind, engage and ask, then sit back and nod. People tend to try harder to impress with knowledge and anecdotes pulled from their experience .
You'll hear the best stuff. Occasionally, someone with even more tact than you will elicit this response from you. Remember it.
And there isn't a lot of learning without listening. When is the last time you showed yourself something new ?
Aug '10
Re: Education Through Conversation
Bronco Goldberg. if you know what I mean.....
Jul '10
Re: Education Through Conversation
I avoid conversations with strangers if at all possible.
May '10
Re: Education Through Conversation
When I attend a presentation with a medium to large audience (not counting at work), I always stay after the presentation and questions have ended and people are mingling causally or heading for the door. Usually a small group of 5-10 people will gather around the speaker as he packs up his things. This is when you really learn things. It can go on for hours.
For example, when I was an undergrad at Iowa State, my best friend and I had a two hour conversation in the lobby of Howe Hall with the CEO of Lockheed Martin about how he grew up as an Iowa farm boy and became the highest paid executive in the country, how his company decided the Joint Strike Fighter should have a lift fan, and how he convinced Sen. Hillary Clinton to support ballistic missile defense.
Re: Education Through Conversation
I've always found that it's amazing what people will tell you if only you ask.
May '11
Re: Education Through Conversation
Something I learned from a friend who was a salesman was that everyone has something interesting to say, but not all the time. He had an icebreaker for conversations, he wore strange socks, he got strange socks from all over the world, and he wore them, and he always, and I mean ALWAYS had a story to go along with each pair. He said he'd sit at the airport waiting for his flight and he'd put one foot up on his knee, and the whole world could see his strange sock, sometimes someone would ask about it, as they did NOT go with his button down suit, but often he'd observe people looking at the sock, if it was someone he thought might give him a good conversation, he'd say something like "You'll never guess where I got these socks..."
Domo
Dec '10
Re: Education Through Conversation
Favorite question I ask virtually anyone "What are you working on?" Never fails to get the most introverted person to start talking. Could be work stuff. Could be a hobby. Family. Helps to actually listen, though.
Mar '11
Re: Education Through Conversation
When I'm at my most introverted, the answer would be "maintaining my composure."
Jan '11
Re: Education Through Conversation
The art of learning is much more than gathering information. That's where conversation, as Aaron points out, becomes much more valuable.
Here's my theory (keep the grain of salt handy) ... I say that knowledge is association. The world is filled with facts (A, B, and C), but these facts don't become knowledge by themselves. They have to be associated. It isn't enough to have isolated facts; you need some method to connect the facts into a larger picture.
Facts are true by themselves, and therefore can be part of different narratives. Each narrative stitches together (or hopes to) a series of facts (we hope they're true) into a coherent picture. Within each narrative, the "meaning" of each fact is how it's associated and related to the picture as a whole. (Take a bow, Wittgenstein.)
Conversations enable knowledge because they supply the narrative that relates and associates facts into coherent pictures.
And, because conversations are ad hoc, they have the flexibility to repair or fill-in gaps in the narrative. You may have always known that X is true, but a conversation will show you how X fits into W-X-Y-Z.
Nov '10
Re: Education Through Conversation
When in the mood (a nod to the comments above), most people love the chance to talk about themselves. To get them to do so, you have to be genuinely curious and you have to ask interesting questions. And if you are good at it, and really want to explore something with them, you have to be willing and able to ask difficult questions. Sometimes these are the things that they most want to talk about, but have never been asked. If you are able to work up the courage to do so, they will respond in direct proportion to the sincerity with which the question is being asked.
A lot of this ties back to emotional intelligence.
Oct '11
Re: Education Through Conversation
The best advice I have ever received is to not lick the person you are talking with. Their reaction is just too much of a wild card.
Dec '11
Re: Education Through Conversation
Asking for help? People like to help other people. I have fun having short conversations with cashiers and clerks. You see these people at minute intervals but maybe as much as 40 times a year. People are so interesting and like you said you can learn so much.
Jun '10
Re: Education Through Conversation
"What brought you to America?" (or "What were your hopes when your came to America?") should get an interesting response from immigrants. I've lived most of my adult life in communities with large immigrant populations. And, if you want to keep the conversation going, "How is it working out for you?"