Down But Not Out
Found this gem by Matthew Hennessey, husband of our own Ursula, on their beautiful daughter Magdalena. If you're feeling gray, read this and you will be uplifted.
[H]ow could Down syndrome be a gift? Surely that’s taking it too far. How could a lifetime of likely dependency be a gift? How could impaired cognitive development be a gift? How could gastroesophageal reflux disease and its expensive, twice daily medicine be a gift? How could two full years of potty training with no end in sight be a gift?
Trust me, it is. The world is better with Magdalena in it. I’m a better person. My wife believes the same of herself. That’s not why Magdalena’s here, of course. We realize it’s not her job to make us better people. But it is one of the happy side-effects of having her around.
Wouldn’t you think it a gift to live every day with someone who is always happy to see you? Wouldn’t you be grateful to have a child who never judges other people, or insults them, or begrudges them?
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Re: Down But Not Out
Bill: My friend Harry Crocker, editor supreme at Regnery Publishing, has told me the very same things about his Down syndrome child. He told me that his child is the most loving person and brings more joy into his family's life than is imaginable.
Jun '10
Re: Down But Not Out
I have been friends with a Down syndrome man, Mike Ramjoue, for years. He brightens every room and loves without holding anything back.
Nov '10
Re: Down But Not Out
I think that human history revolves around a point in the middle of two opposing views. You either believe in the inherent value of human life, or you believe the value of human life is based upon it's utility. Clearly Matthew and Ursula come down on the correct side of that point.
Jun '10
Re: Down But Not Out
Anyone who has experienced the joy of life emitted by those with Downs realizes it is not they who suffer. They are God's angels brought Down to earth to show us mere mortals love and humility. Will Ursula and Matthew have to work hard to sustain Magdalena? Oh yes. Will they be repaid tenfold with her unconditional love? Most definitely.
Nov '10
Re: Down But Not Out
Thank you for sharing. And what an adorable picture of Magdelena. My husband and I have 3 adopted children (removed at birth from the biological mom by the DHS) and people will often state something to the effect "aren't they so lucky to be in your family". Our reply is always the same - no, we're the lucky ones to have them.
Sep '10
Re: Down But Not Out
My wife was 37 when she was pregnant with our daughter. Because of her age the doctor kept telling her she needed to have a test to see if the baby had Down Syndrome. My wife refused and at one point told the doctor, "I'm not going to kill my baby, no matter what." The doctor was surprised by the answer and said that was not the point of having the test. I guess knowing ahead of time can help a family prepare, but isn't selective abortion the real reason for the prenatal testing?
My daughter turned out perfectly healthy and will turn four this month. To Mr. Hennessey's point about "potty training with no end in sight," sadly I am finding that this not unique to Down Syndrome kids.
May '10
Re: Down But Not Out
Every day I watch my children get older and I get sad, because I want to capture their innocence and pure hearts in some way that I can hold forever. It sounds like it is possible to do that...in a child with Downs.
Jun '10
Re: Down But Not Out
I encourage everone to read the piece in full. It is beauttiful, and so is Magdelena.