Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
Oh dear. Slate's Farhood Manjoo played with a Nerf gun, found it very fun, and is now worried in that way that a Blue State Puritan parent worries that someone, somewhere, might be having a good time. It makes for an unintentionally hilarious read:
Aesthetically, the Barricade is meant to resemble a real revolver in the same way that a Real Housewife of New Jersey resembles a real housewife of New Jersey—the general outline is there, but designers have deliberately added disproportionate bulges and textures to heighten reality. The Barricade is what a gun expert would call a “semiautomatic,” or what a neophyte like me would call crazy fast. When you pull the trigger, a dart slips into the barrel, where two battery-powered spinning drums grab it and send it off toward your enemy. At the same time, the trigger turns the revolving chamber, readying the next dart for firing. I picked up a stopwatch and timed how long it took me to empty all 10 darts in the Barricade’s chamber—the kind of last-ditch maneuver I’d have to perform were I to find myself cornered in a no-win Nerf war. It was just 6 seconds. Maybe Dirty Harry could shoot faster, but I doubt it.
The Barricade is a pretty scary toy, and it’s not even close to being the scariest Nerf gun.
I know what Santa is bringing the Hemingway girls!
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Dec '10
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
I've already given up on having the darts picked up in my house. I guess it's better than having the floor strewn with jacks or legos.
Jun '10
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
My grandchildren have killed me hundreds of times with various kinds of Nerf blasters. They like to shoot me because I'm very dramatic in my death throes. They particularly like to shoot me in, shall we say, the derriere.
All are good kids with good parents. Not one of them is showing any psychopathic symptoms.
All of them recently went to my mother's funeral and seem to grasp the difference between real death and playing around with a Nerf gun, a distinction that any semi-literate parent can explain to even three-year-olds.
I grew up with play guns and real guns and have never felt the slightest urge to use a real one on another human being.
I assume Obama has his Toy Czar investigating this as we speak.
Edited on December 21, 2011 at 5:34pmMar '11
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
Same here, Prawn. Except we do have a Lego problem.
If it isn't beta males telling us what we shouldn't have, it's predator males taking what we do have.
Jun '10
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
There's nothing quite like stepping on a lego in the dark of night. It's enough to make a grown man cry.
Mar '11
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
"...scariest Nerf gun" How does that concept even enter an adult mind?
Dec '10
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
Did he drop his European shoulder bag in terror of the dasterdly weapon?
Jan '11
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
Usually, people who are afraid of guns, or who want to instill their children with fear about guns, simply don't buy them. Other parents, who have no such fear, or no desire to instill such fear, can buy them if they so desire.
Great idea, this whole market thingy.
The idea only falls apart when people from the first group demand that people from the second group share their same fears.
Oct '11
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
tabula rasa
There's nothing quite like stepping on a lego in the dark of night. It's enough to make a grown man cry. · Dec 21 at 8:38am
Try Barbie shoes some time. Tiny plastic stilettos.
Mar '11
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
tabula rasa
There's nothing quite like stepping on a lego in the dark of night. It's enough to make a grown man cry. · Dec 21 at 8:38am
Our dog eats the Lego pieces, but not at a mitigating rate, unfortunately. One could argue that I just shouldn't buy them, but I don't buy them. We have a grandparent problem too. ; )
Edited on December 21, 2011 at 5:51pmDec '10
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
Mollie Hemingway, Ed.
...
I know what Santa is bringing the Hemingway girls! ·
Wow, you're playing with fire here ... letting kids learn how to operate these kinds of weapons, when they grow up, they will want to be Marines, join the Delta Force, do who knows what defending the evils of capitalism ... man, how embarrassing will that be?
Jun '10
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
Kelly B
tabula rasa
There's nothing quite like stepping on a lego in the dark of night. It's enough to make a grown man cry. · Dec 21 at 8:38am
Try Barbie shoes some time. Tiny plastic stilettos. · Dec 21 at 8:50am
One of my daughters was a major Barbie devotee; somehow I missed stepping on a stiletto. I can only imagine the pain.
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
My 3 sons have enough nerf blasters to start WWIII, and my daughter's prom date has less to fear from my grilling about his prospects than he does from the eventual ambush he'll walk into.
Of course that's indoor fun. Outside they shoot airsoft guns at one another, and I imagine they will be quite happy when Santa lays the new AK-47 automatic airsoft under the tree (still checking their naughty and nice meters).
Between all that live war gaming and what they've learned on X-Box, I imagine my sons are ready for the complete Red Dawn guerilla defense in the woods near our home when the North Koreans invade next summer.
Edited on December 21, 2011 at 6:08pmMar '11
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
Evidently Mr. Manjood has not heard of Call of Duty. He'd have a stroke.
Mar '11
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
The King Prawn
Did he drop his European shoulder bag in terror of the dasterdly weapon? · Dec 21 at 8:43am
I promised my 13 year-old a new 20ga shotgun when he passes his state hunting license exam. That oughta make Mr. Manjoo drop his European shoulder bag.
Edited on December 21, 2011 at 6:53pmJul '11
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
Those guns pack more wallop when you replace the foam darts with metal ones.
Gus, I bought myself yet another handgun for xmas. God bless the second amendment.
Dec '10
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
My 5 year old daughter will be opening 2 of these bad boys come Christmas. She will squeal with delight, load immediately, and begin destroying her siblings post haste! I can't wait!
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
Mollie--you mean your girls like boy toys?
We've been in hysterics all week at the sheer absurdity of people who convince themselves that boys are just as happy to play with girl toys if given a chance. If it's not a truck, a train, or something fast and loud, Leo is just not interested. I'm sure we'd have about as much luck convincing him that a doll or a tea set is fun as we did at persuading him that the vaccinations he received the other day were in his best interest.
He hasn't discovered guns yet, but I suppose the Ivory Coast will give him ample opportunity.
May '10
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
Claire Berlinski, Ed.:
He hasn't discovered guns yet, but I suppose the Ivory Coast will give him ample opportunity. · Dec 21 at 10:02am
It's really uncanny how boys seems to find guns all on their own. When my 1st was only 17 months old, we'd kept all forms of weapons away from him and made sure he only watched "happy clappy" videos and shows. It didn't matter. He somehow picked up the notion of guns in aerosol form because he started biting his bread into gun shapes and shooting us with them. At 17 months old.
Oh, KP and Gus. The Legos! The Legos! They are the bane of my existence! I loathed stepping on one in the dead of night on my way to the bathroom as a kid. Now they've come back to torture me. It's so bad, we've instituted a draconian rule: any Legos found on the floor will be thrown away. Immediately.
May '10
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
With Revolvers Dirty Harry is a piker. Jerry Miculek is the man - here is Jerry making 12 shots in 3 seconds - including a reload....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLk1v5bSFPw
Dec '10
Re: Don't Be Fooled. This Nerf Blaster Is Evil.
Sat in a restaurant a couple of weeks ago in close proximity to a hipster couple and their 4 year old son (I heard the mom mention him being 4). At one point, the very active little boy held out a finger in the direction of his mom and went "Q!" (My wife has always referred to it as the "Q gene". FeliciaB - this would explain the aerosol).
Mom immediately looks at the boy and says "When you pretend to shoot me it makes me feel afraid and unsafe." God bless the kid - this didn't deter him.
So I'm sitting there thinking either mom has some serious psychological problems (being frightened by a 4 year old's finger), or she's demonstrating to the child that it's perfectly okay to blatantly lie. My suspicion is that it was the latter.