Do not cross TV writers
One night late last year, my husband and I started receiving calls and texts informing us that he had been made fun of by Alec Baldwin's character Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock. Since we are faithful watchers of the show, this delighted us no end.
Apparently he got off pretty easy. The Wall Street Journal looks at the power that television writers have. They settle scores, keep actors in line and poke fun at anyone who snubbed them back in school:
A writer on "Frasier" based Dr. Frasier Crane's high-school crush Lorna Lynley on an unrequited love of his own. Then he began to worry that the real Lorna would recognize her name and sue, especially since the character (played by Jean Smart) came back into Frasier's life as a chain-smoking, whiskey-swilling pill popper. First the writers pranked him, hiring an actor to serve him with a lawsuit. "It really freaked him out," says producer Christopher Lloyd, who worked on "Frasier" before co-creating "Modern Family." Later, they changed the name to Lana Gardner, without explanation. This placated the writer but confused some of the show's more attentive fans.
Says Mr. Lloyd: "There's no shortage of nerdy writers, each of whom had girls in high school that would never look at them and ended up in 'Frasier.' "
I have actor friends and writer friends and it's funny how they both seem to think that they are the primary agent behind a successful character. So I thought this anecdote was also funny:
To writers, bringing actors down a notch is sweet revenge. Some love to tell the story of the time an actor uttered a familiar lament to Mr. Bochco, the producer: "My character would never say that."
Says Mr. Bochco: "I told him, 'Maybe your character wouldn't say that, but he's not your character, he's my character, and he's saying it right here." He pointed to the script.
I love it. Read the whole thing for more stories about how writers kill off the actors they don't like. And let's get Rob to tell us his best stories.
- Comment (10)
- · Quote
- · UnfollowFollow (2)
Comments :
Jul '10
Re: Do not cross TV writers
Godzilla was driven into such deep despondency by screenwriters' mis-characterization that he was driven to alcoholism.
"I never belched fire from my snout," the now-40-years'-sober reptilian star protests. "And that whole lurching-around-and-crushing-tiny-people thing was just way over-stated. Tokyo's a freaking crowded city and when I stood upright, I couldn't see where the heck I was going."
Godzilla hopes that his prominent advocacy for anger-management will put the unfair representation of him as a "rage lizard" to rest.
Re: Do not cross TV writers
Mollie, why do you think we're always so polite to Rob around here? I mean, I'm practically walking on eggshells, worried that the slightest misstep will result in seeing myself in one of Mr. Long's projects as yet another criminally-mad doctor intent on taking over the world. Or whatever.
Re: Do not cross TV writers
Um, Rob, I meant no offense. Really.
Jul '10
Re: Do not cross TV writers
We're so polite because we don't want our feline companions to end up in a tureen with parboiled tweetie birds and a citrus-foam glacee'.
God Bless Creepy Talking Cat!
May '10
Re: Do not cross TV writers
You buried the lede, Mollie. Cristopher Lloyd is an auteur? Who knew? And George, we have an opposite problem. Trying to get Rob to hire me, so sucking up to him shamelessly.
May '10
Re: Do not cross TV writers
Typos do not help in that endeavor.
Re: Do not cross TV writers
Have I told you about my new script? "Dr. Savage, Transgendered P.I."?
Re: Do not cross TV writers
I know one guy who became a television writer simply because it afforded him the opportunity to write on a cop show and name all the strippers, whores, and girl junkies after his mother.
In the end, I guess, the guy who wields the pen ultimately gets his revenge.
A screenwriter I know once wrote a script about a screenwriter who cheats on his wife. In the script, the screenwriter’s wife is fat, shrewish, and is hit by a bus on page 97.
In real life, the screenwriter’s wife is nice-looking, pleasant, and because she lives in Los Angeles, hasn’t been near a bus in fifteen years. Still, she was deeply upset by her husband’s script.
“Is that supposed to be me?” she wanted to know.
“No, no,” he assured her.
“Then who is it?” she demanded tearfully.
“It’s my first wife,” he said.
“And who’s this slut your character meets at a Starbuck’s and sleeps with in the back of the Mercedes SUV?” she wailed.
“That’s you,” he answered. Then added, helpfully, “Don’t you remember how we got together?”
May '10
Re: Do not cross TV writers
Nonono, DR George Savage (transgendered), solves crimes!!!
Dear God, do I have to do everthing?
Re: Do not cross TV writers
The fun is compounded when the writer is finally driven to create a character with his or her own name.