David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
All those years of telling my better half that it was inefficient to both know how to change a tire and have a AAA membership are finally being vindicated. According to a story on Yahoo Shine:
Housework—who does what, when, and how often—is the source of many a recurring marital complaint. Splitting chores 50/50 often seems like the answer, but couples who do often find themselves as resentful and unhappy as couples who set up no plan for dividing the work that makes a house run.
The reason lies in basic economics, say authors Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson of Spousanomics: Using Economics to Master Love, Marriage, and Dirty Dishes. Splitting the dishes, laundry, vacuuming, and other household chores may seem fair, but an unbending line right down the middle can lead to more friction, not less, because no one is good and fast at all things. But when couples adopt the economic principle of “comparative advantage,” which says it’s not efficient to take on every task you’re good at, only the ones you are relatively better at, couples can gain time for the things they really want to do, the authors write.
“In economics, having the comparative advantage in something means you produce it at a lower cost and really quickly,” Paula Szuchman said in an interview with Yahoo! Shine. So if one of you is better at laundry, then do it. And if the other can do the dishes and clean up the kitchen faster every night, while the better cook cooks, go for it.
Still no hope for those of us who have discernible skill set beyond reading and writing. I guess there’s only so much you can do when one partner is considered a negative externality.
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Jul '10
Re: David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
Troy, I was a bachelor for many years. I learned to think of household chores as a sort of zen exercise - mopping the floor as being here now.
Cooking, cleaning, shopping, paying bills and managing finances for two isn't much harder than for one. So when I got married, I just continued to do what I'd always done.
It never occurred to me to ask my wife to "share the burden". I just count myself a lucky man that she shares my life.
Edited on Feb 21, 2011 at 10:14pmRe: David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
Paula Szuchman was a guest contributor at the WSJ's Ideas Market blog all last week. I especially loved this post:
The Secret to a Happy Marriage: Do the Dishes, Put Out, Don't Talk So Much
May '10
Re: David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
All this illustrates is how interesting the science of economics is in theory and how useless in practice. The likelihood that there should be such a clear, obvious, and mutually agreeable division of labor is absurd. And then, of course, there is the simple ignoring of the fact that it is labor in the first place. That this should be posited by economists to begin with goes a long way toward explaining how the financial meltdown was both unforeseen and remains unsolved by economists.
Jul '10
Re: David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
All this illustrates is that there are too many economists with too much time on their hands. Maybe they should change the sheets and vacuum the joint.
Nov '10
Re: David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
“In economics, having the comparative advantage in something means you produce it at a lower cost and really quickly,” Paula Szuchman said in an interview with Yahoo! Shine. So if one of you is better at laundry, then do it. And if the other can do the dishes and clean up the kitchen faster every night, while the better cook cooks, go for it.
This is the formula for true domestic bliss.
Edited on Feb 21, 2011 at 10:46pmOct '10
Re: David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
Elizabeth Dunn
“In economics, having the comparative advantage in something means you produce it at a lower cost and really quickly,” Paula Szuchman said in an interview with Yahoo! Shine. So if one of you is better at laundry, then do it. And if the other can do the dishes and clean up the kitchen faster every night, while the better cook cooks, go for it.
This is the formula for true domestic bliss.
Amen! My wife is such a great cook, she used to teach the skill. And I learned diligence in prep work and pot scrubbing so well from my father that my wife gave me a sous chef license.
BTW, Troy, I think you mean, "...Still no hope for those of us who have NO discernible skill set beyond reading and writing...."
Jun '10
Re: David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
Troy, I know this doesn't apply to you, but some people who claim to have no discernible skill set are just refusing to learn new skills so they can avoid unpleasant tasks. I've seen guys purposely do sloppy clean-ups, or women act like they are too feeble to climb a stepstool and change a smoke alarm battery. It's effective in getting you out of the job, because the spouse doesn't want to live with the mess & incompetence and will just take over the chore. But it's disasterous for the relationship as resentment builds.
You learn to clean up a kitchen fast, or any other task, by doing it. No rocket science is involved. A simple "honey, can you give me a hand," offered in a pleasant tone & answered by a willing spouse who smiles, rather than groans goes a long way.
May '10
Re: David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
Why is it that "household chore" lists are virtually always limited to "laundry, changing diapers, vacuuming, cooking, etc." That is, the ones traditional chauvinists typically ascribe to "women's work." While cleaning the gutters, changing the oil in the car, painting the house, unclogging the toilet, setting (and emptying) the mouse traps, etc. never seem to make the list?
Not saying who should do what, just saying let's work off a complete list.
Jun '10
Re: David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
The difference is in the frequency in which they are performed. "Women's work" is daily drudgery. "Men's work" is more satisfying beause it is project-based and you can sit back, admire your work, and relax a bit knowing the task will not have to be done again for quite some time. Plus, the job is noticed by everyone who stops by. "Nice paint job! That landscaping looks great!" "Women's work" is usually only noticed when it's not done.
There is no satisfaction in laundry when you bring up the clean stuff to put away and see the hamper is overflowing again. Or you cook & clean up after a meal to find someone is already sniffing around in the refrigerator to nosh again. Or you bring the baby's dirty diaper out to the trash only to be faced with a toddler needing a change. Etc., etc., etc.
Jul '10
Re: David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
Any book with -ONOMICS in the title where the first part isn't EC is usually not worth reading.
May '10
Re: David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
The author of the article is right, and you nay-sayers are wrong.
Cleaning up a kitchen is not easy if you happen to suffer from even low-level OCD, as I do. OTOH, an elderly female relative of mine was famous for saying she always looked forward to cleanup after meals, because that meant the drudgery of cooking was over. (That anyone could hate cooking is something that boggles my mind, but hey--it takes all kinds.)
Example: for years, my wife resented the time it took her to do the finances. She cares deeply about having a detailed mastery of our financial situation; I do not. We discussed many times various doomed schemes for me helping with the finances. It never happened. Then, one day, she had an inspiration, and asked me to take charge of the laundry instead, a job I actually somewhat enjoy. Problem solved! (Well, almost solved; there is the occasional wool sweater that ends up in the dryer and comes out child-sized. I guess that just means no system is 100% perfect.)
Jan '11
Re: David Ricardo Saves Your Marriage
Works out well for us. My husband manages the finances, which he hates, but he says there's no point in both of us suffering. I cook; he cleans up. Laundry is kept in two baskets, one of which he is allowed to wash; the other is labeled "Touch This At Your Peril!"
And, of course, there are multiple little tradeoffs. He doesn't like scrubbing broiler pans, so he doesn't "see" them. But he volunteers to clean up cat barf. I figure one Cat Episode is worth 20 broiler pans. Easily.