Bumper Sticker Answers
Paul DeRocco ·
Nov 1, 2011 at 7:40am
Ever seen a smug liberal bumper sticker, and wanted to stick something just to the right of it, to complete the thought? Here are a few bits of non-destructive vandalism I've wanted to plaster on other people's cars:
| WAR IS NOT THE ANSWER |
IF I KNEW WHAT WAS, I'D SAY THAT INSTEAD |
|
PRACTICE RANDOM KINDNESS AND SENSELESS ACTS OF BEAUTY | FONDLE A TOTAL STRANGER |
|
MINDS ARE LIKE PARACHUTES THEY ONLY FUNCTION WHEN OPEN |
AND A COMPLETELY OPEN MIND IS AN EMPTY MIND |
| DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK | BELIEVE EVERYTHING I THINK |
| HATE IS NOT A FAMILY VALUE | EXCEPT FOR HATING FAMILY VALUES |
|
SUPPORT UNIONS: THEY MADE THE MIDDLE CLASS | ... PAY MORE FOR EVERYTHING |
|
DEMAND THE RICH PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE |
AND MINE, AND YOURS, AND EVERYBODY ELSE'S |
| TEACH PEACE | THEN SURRENDER |
| YOU MAY SAY I'M A DREAMER | UH, WHAT WAS I SAYING? |
| FREE TIBET | I HAVE NO IDEA WHY, OR FROM WHAT |
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Comments :
Nov '10
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
Mar '11
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
What is a three letter word referring to something one sleeps on?
War is not the answer!
Apr '11
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
CoExIsT...or I'll beat the crap out of you.
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
Love this. As for "War is not the answer," I always think "what if the question is 'What's a 3-letter word for armed conflict?'"
Aug '10
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
Funny stuff.
A buddy of mine once observed: The greater number of bumper stickers applied to the back of any given car, the higher the likelihood the driver of the car is a Lefty.
We have yet to prove this thesis with a scientific study. We're waiting for a federal grant.
Nov '10
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
"Do not be so open minded that your brains fall out." - GK Chesterton
Sep '11
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
I lived in Washington, DC for a year in the early 1970s. There was a synagogue nearby with a large sign out front emblazoned with the words "Free Soviet Jews!" A (Jewish, FWIW) friend and I used to snicker at the thought of adding a small sign underneath saying "Catholics: 3 for $2"
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
Paul DeRocco,
Sorry about having to change the format. When I moved it over to the main feed, the formatting got super wacky and I was unable to fix it without all the crabs and such showing up. Hope the formatting change doesn't hurt things too much.
Apr '11
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
You Can't Hug a Child With Nuclear Arms...but you sure as hell can keep him safe.
Apr '11
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
Yeah. A dollar meant something back then.
Was the synagogue on Macombe, just off Mass. Ave., between Wisconsin and Nebraska?
Aug '11
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
Charlotte beat me to Coexist, but I've got my version:
Coexist... or else.
Also, just some riffs on the ones Paul posted:
----
War Is Not the Answer: Unless It's a Class War
Practice Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty: Take a Shower
You May Say I'm a Dreamer, but I Think My Postmodern Feminist Critique of the Use of UPC Codes in Capitalist Societies Demonstrates My Qualifications to Work as a Part-time Manager of This Starbucks
---
Family Guy had a great joke about Free Tibet, in which a character sees a Free Tibet rally. He says to the leader, "I'll take it!" He then promptly calls "China" and says, "Hello, China, I have something you might want, but it'll cost ya. [Pause] Yes, that's right. All the tea."
May '10
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
Good stuff- we'll put Paul into the Troy Senik club. Speaking of which, his weekly news column is running behind.
Jun '10
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
Mollie -- it's better than that courier font that's for sure and the table helps, too.
Here's my right side stickers for "Hate is not a Family Value": "It's a Left-wing Value."
or "At Least Not for an INTACT Family." (This really drives liberals nuts.)
or "It Takes a Village."
Jun '10
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
I love the "free Tibet" and "war is not the answer" on the same car.
What are they gunna do?..."hey... China... come on... stop it... heyyyyyy"
May '10
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
Owl of Minerva: Charlotte beat me to Coexist, but I've got my version:
Coexist... or else.
How about this version?
Or this?
Obviously many Muslims do coexist with us peacefully-- but the religion itself, being an all-encompassing philosophy that wants to control government, public and private life, has a problem accepting coexistence with other religions.
Dec '10
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
Know Nukes
Apr '11
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
Pro-Child/Pro-Choice [=Pro-Pig/Pro-Bacon]
War is not the answer. [...so ask a relevant question.]
What we need, in order to take advantage of the economic efficiencies of mass production and interchangeable parts, is an all-purpose retort that we can stock in our cars, skateboards, and rickshaws. How about:
COULD YOU PUT THAT IN A SYLLOGISM?
Jun '10
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
My question has always been a bit longer: "What's a three-letter word for what you do when Hitler conquers most of your allies, begins killing innocents, and then declares ___ on you?"
Jun '10
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
My favorite bumper sticker is on a Hummer driven by some guy in the city I live in with a "Think Solar" bumper sticker. I've not figured out if it's intentional irony or he works for some kind of solar company.
Apr '11
Re: Bumper Sticker Answers
No Justice, No Peace...No Parole.