Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
In football news, the Minnesota Vikings' 62-year-old Quarterback Brett Favre was sacked, gutted and dismembered during last night's game against the Chicago Bears. His playing status is listed as questionable. "We're just waiting to see if Brett can pick up the pieces," said Vikings interim coach Leslie Frazier. "Unfortunately, I think dogs carried off a couple of them and at least one was sent to that cute girl who used to work for the Jets." Favre said he hadn't given up hope of starting in next Sunday's scheduled match-up against the Eagles despite his sacking and disembowelment, "Back when I was playing with Johnny Unitas, he used to say to me, 'Kid, you got guts.' And okay, I guess I'll have to take that metaphorically now, but still..." Bears defensive end Corey Wootton, who drove the 73-year-old Favre into the earth and tore him to shreds during the second quarter, denied charges of unnecessary roughness. "I just tackled him, that's all," Wootton said, "and he kind of came apart in my hands." After most of Favre was removed from the game, rookie quarterback Joe Webb was sent in to replace him. "They handed me this brown thing and then all these big men started hitting me - what's that about?" asked Webb, who then announced his retirement.
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May '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
Thus ends his sexting career.
Nov '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
This is the funniest comment I ever expect to read about Brett "Over-the-hill" Favre.
You should be writing comedies for Hollywood, Andrew.
Sep '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
I imagine you began this post over in the Dismember Feed before it was approved for posting?
Jun '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
I've always loved Brett Favre, but I'm afraid he's had one season too many. If you look at it carefully, just about every problem the Vikings have had are a result of Favre's presence. One, they have two terrible backup quarterbacks because the franchise put all their egg's in the Favre basket. Second, the coach got fired and caused a bunch of disarray, indirectly (or maybe directly) because of Favre. They're playing lousy when Favre is in the game, and he's caused nothing but disruption with the texting scandal. His reputation has been so impeccable for so long, that nobody had the guts to say enough is enough. Knowing when to make a graceful exit is a star's last great gesture. Now, he's going out with a bunch of acrimony and failure in his wake. It's a terrible shame.
Jul '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
In the interest of context, it should be noted that Favre's (pretty good, but drastically overrated) 9 year-old successor, Aaron Rodgers, already missed a start after one of the Detroit Lions accidentally tackled him.
May '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
Whenever someone simply hangs on too long, that tiny little required competitive edge is removed, the fall is sudden. In 1970, the Colts were world champs, in 1971, they won their division again, both times led by Unitas. In 1972, Unitas wasn't even the starter, and was then traded to San Diego- he simply couldn't do it any longer at that level. Too much accumulated damage.
Favre, the utimate prima donna, thought that he was the only guy in history who could get older, and instead of working harder to keep his edge and conditioning, he would defy the odds by preparing less. At age 41, that is the difference between his 2009 season and 2010.
Of course, he also lost his best receiver for the first critical half of 2010, his center was playing on one leg for that half, he lost both guards, and his third down (blitz pick-up) back (the team also lost almost all the cornerbacks and the same aging syndrome hit the run-stopper). These things add up.
I think he needs to go back to Mississippi and spend his retirement explaining his outside "amusements" to his wife.
Sep '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
How is Rodgers "drastically overrated"? By whom? Inquiring Packer Fan demands to know! ;-)
Two concussions in the span of 6 weeks isn't something to mess with.
Jul '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
While Favre has been night and day from last season, it's hardly fair to saddle all of Minnesota's problems this season on him. Minnesota knew they needed a QB last year, so they went for it with Favre with remarkable success. He had one of his best seasons, and neither party regretted the decision. This season Favre has declined (was he ever really healthy after ankle surgery?), but that doesn't explain why the offensive line can't pass block, or why the defense has been a shadow of itself (maybe the Williams' had to cut back on their steroid cycles). It was no secret around the NFC North that Childress was not considered a very good coach, and it was only the Vikings' performance last year that kept him from being fired earlier.
In any event, Favre is risking serious injury at this point playing behind that line, and hopefully he's done. If nothing else we got to watch one last TD drive in the snow last night capping a remarkable 20 year career. The average NFL career is around five years, and Favre was able to play at a high level well beyond that.
Jul '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
That's hardly a fair assessment of this offseason. The last few offseasons Favre had worked out harder than the last few seasons in Green Bay. This offseason he had ankle surgery which never really healed properly and didn't decide to come back until his teammates and coach flew down to personally ask him to come back.
Sep '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
Brett Favre, formerly great NFL quarterback, may be the only man in America who is more narcissistic than President Obama. It's a close race.
I lay 90% of the Vikings problems at the feet of Favre. The Vikings should have know that when you lay down with dogs, you come up with fleas. As a thanks for extending his career (no other team was interested prior to the 2009 season), he undermined his head coach, placed himself above the team, and created a prima donna atmosphere that created friction with other players and coaches.
Sure 2009 turned out pretty well, but a 40 year old quarterback is not a long term solution. The Vikings ignored common sense, so I feel no sympathy for them or their beloved, self-centered, perverted quarterback.
Jul '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
Richard VanderHoek: I lay 90% of the Vikings problems at the feet of Favre. The Vikings should have know that when you lay down with dogs, you come up with fleas. As a thanks for extending his career (no other team was interested prior to the 2009 season), he undermined his head coach, placed himself above the team, and created a prima donna atmosphere that created friction with other players and coaches.
Sure 2009 turned out pretty well, but a 40 year old quarterback is not a long term solution. The Vikings ignored common sense, so I feel no sympathy for them or their beloved, self-centered, perverted quarterback. · Dec 21 at 12:18pm
Friction with other players...like the ones who personally went to MS to ask him to play again this year? Favre was never a long-tem answer for Minnesota. Everyone knew this was a shot to win now, not set up a five year run. Last year it nearly worked; this year it bombed. They weren't winning the Super Bowl with Tavaris Jackson at QB. It's not Favre's fault he was their only hope. He doesn't run their front office.
Aug '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
Please don't tell anyone in Kansas City about this. They have a program for old QBs there.
Well they used to when Carl Peterson was GM. DeBerg, Montana
Jul '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
Mark Belling Fan: How is Rodgers "drastically overrated"? By whom? Inquiring Packer Fan demands to know! ;-)
Two concussions in the span of 6 weeks isn't something to mess with. · Dec 21 at 10:17am
The kid has talent & brains, but anyone assessing him on touchdowns & yards (in other words nearly every single shallow media "analyst") is missing the big picture. He's 25-21. That's after taking over a very good team with a defense that is constantly getting takeaways.
He can't read a decently disguised blitz, and he can't finish games... yet. He's better at the former than he was, and he'd be better at the latter if he had a running game.
I like him, and I'm certainly not calling him a sissie for missing last week.
Edited on Dec 21, 2010 at 6:58pmJul '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
The man has retired after each season for the last 18 years. The "Favre Retires" and "Favre Returns" stories at this point are pumped out automatically using form letter software to fill in the particulars for the current year. The last three years Sports Illustrated readers wrote in asking why they featured the Crypt-Keeper on the cover in a Favre uniform.
May '10
Re: Brett Favre Dismembered, Disembowled. Status Questionable.
Whiskey Sam
That's hardly a fair assessment of this offseason. The last few offseasons Favre had worked out harder than the last few seasons in Green Bay. This offseason he had ankle surgery which never really healed properly and didn't decide to come back until his teammates and coach flew down to personally ask him to come back. · Dec 21 at 10:41am
Whiskey, we will agree to disagree. When you throw, it is heavily dependent on the legs. You can work out your legs without stressing an ankle laterally (I should know, I've broken both and also been in the ortho rehab business). When Nolan Ryan was near- and past- 40, he was working out several hours a day.
For a QB to be successful, he needs to click with receivers. This past off-season, Sage Rosenfels was in the Vikings facility every single day exercising, meeting with the QB coaches and other receivers, and watching film.