Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
It's not exactly man bites dog, is it? Hugh Hefner, ancient and toothless pornographer, is engaged to a woman who looks like she could snap him in half.
She looks happy; he looks medicated. Which is probably appropriate for both of them, because he's 84 and she's 24.
Crystal Harris, newly affianced to Hef, is playing a game of Rich Old Man Hot Potato. She wants to be the one -- out of several dozen candidates -- who wakes up one day to discover that the wheezing, creaking, rumbling skeleton next to her has passed on to Other Shores, leaving her the mansion and the money, leaving her, for once, alone and at peace, without a couple of bony claws grabbing and pawing at her wonderfully smooth, young, firm skin.
And yet, to suspend the snark for a moment, this could be a wonderful star-crossed match. Not so much May-December as May-Mesozoic, but consider the signs: when she was born, Ronald Reagan was president. When he was born, it was the (sainted) Calvin Coolidge.
This is a couple worth rooting for. Firmly planted in conservative soil, the heirs of two great presidents, I wish them well.
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Jul '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
"Not so much May-December as May-Mesozoic... "
That cracked Me up.
Really... do they have to get married? It's events like this that gives the Institution damage.
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
This story just makes me sad -- no matter from which angle you look at it.
Edited on Dec 28, 2010 at 12:40pmRe: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
Rob Long
And yet, to suspend the snark for a moment,
Never, never suspend the snark, Long!
Aug '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
Rob Long
It's not exactly man bites dog, is it? Hugh Hefner, ancient and toothless pornographer, is engaged to a woman who looks like she could snap him in half.
She looks happy; he looks medicated. Which is probably appropriate for both of them, because he's 84 and she's 24.
Not so much May-December as May-Mesozoic,
May-Mesozoic- Thank's Rob, now I've got Welches in my keyboard and my sinuses.
Poor old Hef looks too docile to be creepy. She looks like she is visiting Madam Tussauds.
May '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
I'm sure his pre-nup template has been perfected, by now. I wonder if it took a vein or an artery when she signed it.
Jul '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
Louie Mungaray
. She looks like she is visiting Madam Tussauds. · Dec 28 at 12:52pm
Hilarious!
Hugh's day job.
Nov '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
He's old enough to be her great-grandfather. I should know, because I am 24 and he isn't too much younger than my recently-passed great-grandfather (and I have second cousins older than me). Not that there's anything wrong with that...
And the girl in the picture looks older than 24. Looks like an older actress that's had a lot of work done to look younger. But maybe it's just the lighting or something.
May '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
TheRoyalFamily:
And the girl in the picture looks older than 24. Looks like an older actress that's had a lot of work done to look younger. But maybe it's just the lighting or something.
Maybe having sex with an ossified millionaire bag of bones ages you.
Oct '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
Thanks Rob: Only you could draw the connection between Ronald Reagan and Calvin Coolidge. The geriatric and the nubile... what a concept.
Aug '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
Maybe she ran over a gypsy and this is her curse.
Jul '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
Aw, I don't begrudge the old lecher if he wants to buy a shiny new trophy.
Beats the hell out of what George Soros does with his money.
Sep '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
I'm encouraged. Youth and looks may be temporary but shallow and delusional are forever.
Sep '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
Question: Will they marry deep in the Mines of Moria?
Nov '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
Kenneth: Aw, I don't begrudge the old lecher if he wants to buy a shiny new trophy.
Beats the hell out of what George Soros does with his money.
Say what you like about Hefner, the man is not a phony. He looks like a silly old lech and he is a silly old lech, but he knows it and he seems to be comfortable with it. I am willing to give him a pass on everything, simply for being so refreshingly unpretentious.
And Hefner is apparently a good Catholic, too!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBwAZVWWZ20
May '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
Lady Kurobara
Kenneth: Aw, I don't begrudge the old lecher if he wants to buy a shiny new trophy.
Beats the hell out of what George Soros does with his money.
Say what you like about Hefner, the man is not a phony. He looks like a silly old lech and he is a silly old lech, but he knows it and he seems to be comfortable with it. I am willing to give him a pass on everything, simply for being so refreshingly unpretentious.
And Hefner is apparently a good Catholic, too!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBwAZVWWZ20 · Dec 28 at 4:13pm
Ew, ew, ew and double EW!
Nov '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
FeliciaB
Lady Kurobara
Kenneth: Aw, I don't begrudge the old lecher if he wants to buy a shiny new trophy.
Beats the hell out of what George Soros does with his money.
Say what you like about Hefner, the man is not a phony. He looks like a silly old lech and he is a silly old lech, but he knows it and he seems to be comfortable with it. I am willing to give him a pass on everything, simply for being so refreshingly unpretentious.
And Hefner is apparently a good Catholic, too!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBwAZVWWZ20
Ew, ew, ew and double EW!
What?
You do not like Easter egg hunts...?
Oct '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
Oooooh, nice! Thanks for the "Thinner" reference! Now I have to go read it again.
I'm glad it's not just me. I don't think she looks good, or 24, at all.
May '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
I can see it now: in a few years time, the greatest contested estate battle since the Anna Nicole-Smith circus.
May '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
You talk about better living through chemistry... Pfizer meets Dow Corning. Viagra and implants. She's either going to have to hold him off or hold him up.
And for Christie Hefner's sake I hope there's a prenup.
May '10
Re: Breaking News: Ossified Millionaire Bag of Bones to Wed Nude Model
Lady Kurobara
FeliciaB
Lady Kurobara
Kenneth: Aw, I don't begrudge the old lecher if he wants to buy a shiny new trophy.
Beats the hell out of what George Soros does with his money.
Say what you like about Hefner, the man is not a phony. He looks like a silly old lech and he is a silly old lech, but he knows it and he seems to be comfortable with it. I am willing to give him a pass on everything, simply for being so refreshingly unpretentious.
And Hefner is apparently a good Catholic, too!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBwAZVWWZ20
Ew, ew, ew and double EW!
What?
You do not like Easter egg hunts...? · Dec 28 at 4:42pm
Since when did pagan fertility rituals become equated with Roman Catholicism?
And no, I'm not a fan of Hefner's egg hunts. I'm worried about where those eggs have been and where they're hiding.