Bill McGurn on What Matters
At its annual dinner in Manhattan earlier this month, the Human Life Foundation honored our own Bill McGurn. Unable to attend, I just came across Bill's remarks online. (He's far too modest to post them himself.) Bill spoke powerfully and beautifully about the sanctity of human life, but nohting he said proved more powerful or beautiful than his acknowledgement of his family:
When you adopt your children, people have a way of telling you how wonderful you are for making such a sacrifice. So I ask you: Look over at my three beautiful girls and tell me: Does that look like a sacrifice? Tonight I stand here rich in strong women who love life – my bride, my mother, my mother-in-law, my three daughters. So when I think of the sacrifice here, my thoughts go to three women, somewhere in China, whom I do not know and will never meet. My prayer as an adoptive parent is this: That I might be the father worthy of their hopes and their sacrifice.
Read Bill's remarks here.
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Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
Pure class. Bravo!
Sep '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
Very well done. Bill understands the difference between a morally uplifting tone and a moralistic one. In so doing, he dares to be great. Thanks for posting this Peter.
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
Amen. Well said.
May '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
The loudest I ever heard my daughter cry was the day she was born, three months pre-mature and not much bigger than a Barbie doll. The birth canal does not have magical powers. It does not bestow life as the baby passes through.
I understand there are times to leave the divisive issue of abortion in the background for purposes of winning elections. But I, for one, would have a very hard time being an enthusiastic supporter of the Republican Party if we abandon the cause.
Thanks Bill and Peter.
Sep '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
"a word has power to convey a world of information to the imagination, and to act as a spell upon the feelings."
- John Henry Cardinal Newman
May '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
Well said, Mr. McGurn! As an adoptive parent, I get this comment all of the time, "How good of you to open your home and sacrifice yourself for foster children." I get annoyed because my authentic response that I always have to edit is, "Are you kidding me? I'm not the one who gave up her parental rights for these children. I'm getting to be their parent. It's not a sacrifice, it's an honor to get to be their mommy." I just wish I had more stamina to get to adopt more kids.
Oct '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
"For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
May '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
Excellent speech, Bill. And you hit the most important point: leadership by example, not politics, is the surest way to affect change. If it was good enough for Christ, it's good enough for me.
I view cultural acceptance of abortions in much the same way I view anti-Semitism. It's a fair measure of a society's health and future. The law might be against us, but there seems to be a growing defense of old values like care for the unborn and the old. I haven't spent much time around babies and new parents, but I've witnessed awe-inspiring dedication to the sick and elderly.
Our culture has retained the gentler aspects of love in the arts and parenting. We need to remind people that love is resilient, forgiving but critical, patient but firm, peaceful but courageous. And love is hopeful. Expectant mothers need friends to show them hope.
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
I also recommend this article by Bill which he wrote in 1997 for Notre Dame Magazine, shortly after his first daughter was adopted. I discovered it in the latest Human Life Review. (That version includes a postscript about his two subsequent adoptions, but I wasn't able to find it online). The article brought my husband and I to tears more than once. Perhaps that's because we also value life, but it's also probably because we have seen the beautiful and fun-loving McGurn family in action.
I was lucky enough to attend the dinner. It was a life-affirming (of course) and emotional evening for me. I probably should have posted about it myself, but I have run into trouble posting about something or someone close to my heart. Bill was instrumental in making my father's final years of life fulfilling by writing him letters, by arranging for him to be honored for his life's work, and by talking to obit writers patiently and with such kindness for my father. It gave my mom great comfort. Small things. Bill does big thing and small things for the "life" of others. Thanks, Bill. Thanks, Peter.
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
All of you are very kind. However, the truth is that Ursula's dad was my first mentor and became a lifelong friend. I wrote to him when I was a high school kid and he was a famous big-city columnist for the New York Daily News. Throughout his life, Bill Reel was a voice for life -- a *cheerful* voice, I might add. I miss him.
Oct '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
We also adopted from China. We have two beautiful girls. Having spent the first 30 plus years walking through stores in complete anonymity, it was a complete shock to receive the warm looks and encouraging words from others. I came to believe that others felt our adoption gave them a better view of humanity. Isn’t it so nice that someone would do this for another?
From the parent’s side, however, that is not the way it is. We felt the emptiness of a childless existence. We mourned a future with no hope of seeing the joy of family occasions reflected in the eyes of our kids. Being a childless parent makes you reflect on the essential reasons why someone would have kids. A Darwinist might say that it’s a matter of spreading your genes. I think not. Our kids gave us the opportunity to be parents. They gave us the opportunity to love and be loved as a parent. Loving as a parent is different from any other kind of love. They provide us God’s unconditional love reflected by another. This is why we adopted. We parent from the position of prostrate gratitude for our kids.
Aug '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
I have two beautiful daughters, ages 12 and 14, both adopted from China.
My younger daughter has expressed a lot of anger at her (unknown) birthmother. This is a complex emotional issue for her, with feelings of abandonment and wondering what her life would have been.
With a little more emotional distance than my daughter, I have great respect and admiration for her birthmother. There is no legal way to surrender parental rights in China, so children are 'abandoned' at locations known to be regularly checked for this purpose. Her birthmother brought her to term, and life, and gave her a chance and us a great gift. And I know that, had she been an American, her birthmother would have been pressed to solve her impossible problem in a different, darker way.
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
Mark and Lo Fon, what wonderful, eloquent comments.
May '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
There's nothing else to say, except that being a parent, by whatever means, is the most enriching element of life.
I also believe that it is impossible, until you have been a parent, to really grasp the relationship of God to His creation- understanding how you can be angry at rebellion, but at the same time love the rebel to the point of ultimate self-sacrifice.
Edited on Nov 5, 2010 at 9:21amOct '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
Mark, I have yet to face this problem. Growing up in suburban America, I’m a little worried that our girls will think that there’s a mom somewhere in China driving in her mini-van grateful that she wasn’t burdened with having my daughter as a child. That, however, is probably not the case.
May I suggest this book. Its gives a good picture of the madness that surrounded the cultural revolution and shows how that madness translated into pressure on women to give up their girls because of the one child policy. The women described in this book suffered greatly and fought heroically. Although the biological mothers of our daugters were surrounded and pressured by a culture where selective abortion was common and infanticide was not unheard of, at least they took a stand and gave our girls a chance at life. This is one unequivocal fact I can give them about their biological mothers.
Edited on Nov 5, 2010 at 10:18amRe: Bill McGurn on What Matters
Mark and Lo Fon,
The way we see it, we do not know the facts. But we do know a few things. First, the birth moms are moms who either deserve our prayers -- or need our prayers. Second, in a society that pushes and sometimes even forces abortion, these women brought my kids to term.
Third, I'm an Even Steven kinda guy. I don't like to be indebted to anyone. In this case it's been humbling to realize that I owe a debt to these women beyond this world's ability to repay.
cheers, bill
Edited on Nov 5, 2010 at 9:38amNov '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
Hello, Bill convinced me to sign up ... it was wonderful to honor Bill at our event, and to meet Ursula! The update you mentioned, Ursula, is attached (the final pages) of Bill's lead article in our new issue ..should be on the website too... also, there is a good article about the event in the current issue of the Long Island Catholic by Pete Sheehan ...
Sep '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
Bill McGurn: Mark and Lo Fon,
The way we see it, we do not know the facts. But we do know a few things. First, the birth moms are moms who either deserve our prayers -- or need our prayers. Second, in a society that pushes and sometimes even forces abortion, these women brought my kids to term.
Third, I'm an Even Steven kinda guy. I don't like to be indebted to anyone. In this case it's been humbling to realize that I owe a debt to these women beyond this world's ability to repay.
cheers, bill · Nov 5 at 9:38am
Edited on Nov 05 at 09:38 am
Bill, its been a pleasure to read your postings and perhaps, one day, we will meet.
May '10
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
Duane Oyen: There's nothing else to say, except that being a parent, by whatever means, is the most enriching element of life.
I also believe that it is impossible, until you have been a parent, to really grasp the relationship of God to His creation- understanding how you can be angry at rebellion, but at the same time love the rebel to the point of ultimate self-sacrifice. · Nov 5 at 8:55am
Edited on Nov 05 at 09:21 am
You know, Duane, I found myself thinking and feeling the same thing. I felt my relationship with God really deepened when I became a parent.
Re: Bill McGurn on What Matters
Welcome, Maria, so great to see you here. My husband and I are also working our way through the truly amazing "The Debate Since Roe" special issue. The piece you mentioned by Jo McGowan was the first I turned to, and it was better than I could have imagined. Funny, powerful, and pointed! I also have renewed respect for Ann Coulter because of the piece you include by her. Bill's Notre Dame speech (commenting on Obama's invitation there) is also included. Folks, check out the website and get copies. As you all know, I never have time to read anything, but these short, important essays are more than worthwhile.