Are the Kids Alright?
Which TV children have the worst parents? That's the question that this piece in the Vulture asks:
Not since the heyday of the desperate, late-season new baby/orphan story lines of our childhood (where are those other Full House twins now?) have there been so many unwanted TV kids trying to stay out of their parents’ ways.
The piece focuses on the children that appear on the television network AMC, like the kids of Don and Betty Draper from Mad Men and those of Walter and Skyler White from Breaking Bad. Though the slideshow doesn't mention this example, I also thought of Jack Bauer from 24 (Fox) and his tortured relationship with his daughter, Kim.
Showing television characters with their children---as parents---is a plot device that humanizes these fictional adults. What are they willing to do for their kids? (For Walter White, who is dying of cancer, he is willing to "cook" meth so that he can provide for his children after he has passed away). How far are they willing to go to protect them? (Jack Bauer is willing to break federal law and threaten national security to ensure the safety of his daughter).
But having their kids around also shows their greatest flaws--one of which is that they are absent parents who have neglected their children. Why are they so absent? In all three shows, the main obstacle to being a good parent is career. Don, Walter, and Jack have demanding jobs--and, therefore, unusual lifestyles--that ultimately tear their families apart. It makes you wonder about the work-life balance and whether it's worth it to have a demanding job--even if it's meaningful and noble, like Jack Bauer's--at the expense of having no personal or family life.
In the real world, careerism is also having an affect on family life. Many couples are having children later and later because they are trying to first establish themselves in the professional world. When they finally do have kids, it marks a turning point in their lives. Prior to that point, career advancement was the main purpose of their lives. After that point, they have a choice. If being a good parent means dialing it down professionally in order to be more available to their children, is that a sacrifice people are willing to make?
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Dec '11
Re: Are the Kids Alright?
Lucy Pevensie: I hate to reveal my age, but I guess I will admit that I was a kid in the 1960s. In my family, it was clear that kids were highly valued, but that was also clearly not the norm among my peers. Even in my "kids-first" family, my stay-at-home mother felt much less of a responsibility to focus on us than I do on my child, or than any of my daughter's friends' parents do. We had fewer things, and many fewer of the things we wanted. Weekends weren't oriented around playdates and trips to the park or the zoo; we were told to just go outdoors, and be back by dinner. After school, we were on our own (though my mom was home). Now kids are in programs with enrichment activities.
A generation before, my mother's parents clearly felt that they had met all their responsibilities to their kids by giving them a roof over their heads and food.
I strongly suspect that we were much more emotionally healthy than today's hothouse flowers (
That was my 80's experience.
Nov '11
Re: Are the Kids Alright?
It seems to me that actually very few people work all that much and 40 hours/week is their cut off (bubble?). Many that do work over do it for the extra pay and have raised their standard of living to meet feeling trapped. People who have a passion for their work don't consider work, but life, and are lucky. So many people actually having the decision is new in human history, and complete retirement for many is unrealistic and a trap. One parent around most of the time is a good thing, but I really think the scales have tipped in favor of the helicopter parent to the kid's detriment. Parents and hard workers with a talent and dream are given a guilt trip whichever way they turn. I guess what I am saying is parents should be reliable but quality time may be as good as just always being there to watch TV. I really should publish my great Aunt's story of raising kids in AR. in the 30's. For instance only the dad got shoes and new clothes because he needed them to do the farm work. It really puts things in perspective.