Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Rob Long ·
Mar 31, 2011 at 11:37am
You either think this is cool, or you don't:
If you think it's pretty cool -- congratulations! You're a conservative.
If you don't -- go back to your geodesic dome house and eat tofu, you socialist enviro-wacko tax-hiking anti-progress freak.
And I'm only half-kidding. This really might work as the ultimate litmus test, don't you think?
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Comments :
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
My conservative credentials are impeccable, Rob, and I really like tofu.
Nov '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Yes, Claire, but did you think its cool? And by the way, do they have any Monster Trucks in Turkey?
I like tofu as well, when its cooked right. Back in LA, you could get it everywhere. But here in Austin, its strangely missing from the Panda Express menu. Shame too, because the Tofu and Grilled Egg Plant was was the best thing on their menu.
Dec '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Rob, what is it you think a conservative is?
Regardless, I'm going to try it in my F-150 right after lunch.
Aug '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
It's brash, bold, dangerous, and original... all American. Yet somewhat trivial and adolescent. You gotta wonder how many times he cracked up before he found the right combination of speed and horsepower to pull it off.
Only a 'progressive' would ridicule it, not knowing anything about the technology or innovation required. Ignorance of technology and economics are their hallmarks.
May '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!
Yabbut Claire, you also collect cats, and not for taxidermy. Sort of an outlier. I wouldn't even eat hummus if it weren't for Israeli solidarity and Cicero fandom.
Jul '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Since Queen Claire is a Conservative Who enjoys tofu, She may prefer this version.
Jun '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
That's just a typical Saturday afternoon...when the neighbor kids take their modified trucks over to the gravel pit. I thought it would be something unusual.
Jul '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Crap
It turns out I'm a rhino squish
Jan '11
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
The only way to improve that trick would be to outfit the truck with a mini-gun
Jul '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Beats watching Sarah Palin murder a reindeer.
Jun '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Kenneth, Kenneth, Kenneth. If you're a bad shot, you might torture a Caribou, but you haven't "murdered" it. You need to get out of your neighborhood more.
May '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Claire, there is a difference between "happily consumes for health reasons" and "really like." how can you "really like" something that has no flavor and the texture of a decaying slug?
Jun '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
This is where my conservative credentials fail. I consider myself way right, but monster trucks, professional wrestling, and anything like it makes me ill. Okay, I'm a condescending, cultural snob. Just don't take away my Cheers, Seinfeld, and heavy metal.
Mar '11
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Seconded. Liked. Quoted.
Tofu is good.
Jul '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Way cool. I wonder what William F. Buckley would have thought of it.
Aug '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Funny you'd choose Monster Trucks. About twelve years ago, my girlfriend and I took her 11-year-old nephew to a monster truck rally in Portland, OR. It was full of 11-year-old boys. It was made for 11-year-old boys. That's a Good Thing, not a criticism--I have a fair amount of 11-year-old boy left in me, too.
Afterwards, we went to Papa Haydn's in NW Portland for dinner, a yuppie destination if ever there was one. I recall observing that it was unlikely that anyone else in the room had been with us at the truck rally, or indeed that more than a few people who frequent Papa Haydn's had ever been to a monster truck event--or vice versa.
It's true that there are cultural divisions that manifest themselves across life, so that people from one group rarely encounter people from another, outside of the DMV or a freeway traffic jam. And while I generally find the Monster Truck culture to be healthier and saner than the Bobo culture of NW Portland, the latter has so much better food...
Jun '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
I believe WFB used to watch monster truck rallies while he was playing the harpsichord. Perhaps someone at NRO can verify this.
Jul '10
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Definitely cool. But I'm still a moderate.
Feb '11
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
Didn't WFB perform a similar stunt when he encountered a squall while sailing around the world?
As to tofu, I believe he disdained it because he could never find an appropriate wine to accompany it.
Mar '11
Re: Are You Really a Conservative? Here's a Simple Test
The precision of that flip leads me to heavily suspect that he took Obama's recommendation to check the pressure in his tires very seriously.