Are University Students Getting Shafted?
It's probably because I grew up in New Jersey and knew a lot of friends who went to Rutgers. But the story about the young man who jumped off the George Washington Bridge after a sexual encounter he had was videotaped and shared with others is hard to get out of my mind. And it came to the fore again as I watched the triumphant rescue of the miners.
What a difference, I thought. In that mine, 33 men formed a tight community. Apart from questions about a rescue, it couldn't have been easy just living day to day with other people in such conditions. Yet they not only persevered, they triumphed. I'm sure there were personality conflicts, but these Chilean miners seemed capable of forming a community -- with support -- that our children often do not get at universities.
Since that young man's suicide, Rutgers has had all sorts of op-eds, lots of denunciations of hate, all manner of proposals for new codes designed to prevent the invasion of privacy that seemed to provoke him to take his life. I realize that whenever someone takes his life, things are probably more complicated than they seem. But it also strikes me that what's lacking at our campuses is not another paragraph in the student manual or some mandatory lecture on sensitivity, but the basic decency, not limited to any creed, summed up in the Golden Role about treating others the way you would like to be treated. I wonder how many things could be avoided if common decency were emphasized over rights and speech codes.
Whatever else it is, there has to be immense sadness at the thought of a young man, with his whole life ahead of him, standing on the edge of a bridge -- and apparently thinking his only option was to jump. I often sense a terrible loneliness among our university students today. How sad that there can be more of a real community in a Chilean mine shaft than at an American college campus.
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Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
When I was in college, I never heard anyone talk about "human decency" as a virtue that we should aspire to. (Tolerance, on the other hand, was a hot buzzword.) And only once did I hear someone mention "human dignity" as a value, and that was inside the Catholic Church on campus. Are these virtues beginning to fade away from our culture?
Edited on Oct 15, 2010 at 6:34amOct '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
Read Tom Wolfe's "I am Charlotte Simmons" and you will understand why that young man jumped off the bridge.
Years ago, George Carlin said that the American persona is little more than "Hey, dig me!" Nowhere is this more apropos than in the American "college scene."
So what happens when one feels there is nothing left of ourselves worthy of being "dug" by others? We are left with a solitude so deep that it feels like live burial.
Charlotte dealt with it one way, by making some really bad choices, but at least she was left with the opportunity to, one day, regain her senses and her sense of worth. Unfortunately the option taken by the young man from Rutgers was permanent.
Aug '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
What upsets me is the incredible lack of maturity exhibited by the kids who surreptitiously filmed this guy and uploaded the video. The meanness is at a grade school level. Schools are processing these kids right into Rutgers ?
Their parents and teachers should be held accountable for allowing their children out of the house with such perverted and stunted value systems.
Rutgers should be held accountable for taking their money without checking them for sociopathy.
Aug '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
Bill McGurn:
I wonder how many things could be avoided if common decency were emphasized over rights and speech codes.
A lot.
If I may make so bold to ask, was this a videotape he had made voluntarily (or with his knowledge) that got shared, or was it made without his consent or knowledge?
It is possible that besides decency and consideration for your fellow man, one of the virtues lacking in this debacle was prudence.
To add to the theme of students-jumping-off-bridges, have you heard of the suicide fences at Cornell? (This blog has a good photo, too.) When I heard about them, my first reaction was to wonder how stupid a university has to be to infantilize students in this way. Now, I realize suicide is a great tragedy, with added pathos when the deceased is young and bright. But haven't you reached an age in college where you've gotta start taking responsibility for yourself -- including your own mental health?
Or am I overreacting, and baby-gates for college kids are actually a good idea?
Oct '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
I have spent time at a private and now public university; the entire culture is suffused in mockery. It is by far the most popular mode of comedy and entertainment, and is even a common element in classrooms. The self-promotion at its core bristles at the uncool concept of general decency. I'll bet the miners didn't waste much energy asserting their wit with snide remarks and pointed jokes.
Sep '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
Hundreds of high school and pre high school age boys and girls die, some at their own hands, as result of sexual exploitation in the US each year. Barely a word is heard from the elites of the national press. One young man from an elite university has his privacy invaded and he jumps off a bridge and we a deluged with scores of articles that engage in far too much maudlin pontificating. Thankfully what transpired 2300 feet underground in Chile is closer to what transpires on main street in the US each day; than what transpires on elite university campuses and in the national press.
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
Midget Faded Rattlesnake
A lot.
If I may make so bold to ask, was this a videotape he had made voluntarily (or with his knowledge) that got shared, or was it made without his consent or knowledge?
· Oct 15 at 7:38am
The latter -- his roommate surreptitiously taped it.
Sep '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
Mike Adams wrote a piece called "Eight Straight Suicides" to put things in perspective. Read through to the end. I'm not sure his conclusion is necessarily the answer, but his identity comments are spot on.
http://townhall.com/columnists/MikeAdams/2010/10/15/eight_straight_suicides
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
That's what I was driving at. In American Pie, it's of course funny when a sexual encounter is broadcast without (in that case) the woman's knowing about it. In real life, as the Rutgers case shows, that can be devastating. So much seems to be a culture of humiliation -- and the incapacity of our professors and university presidents to speak in simple terms of right and wrong.
Jun '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
Just no hero's here...
I went to a very rough high school and a not so great university. I was part of the jock set. What amazes me today about bullying is I don't see the hero's. My schools and frat were as verbally rough as could be, and we all took grief.
But I still remember many friends who on many occasion's simply stood up and said No when someone was being picked on. They didn't need a pamplet to tell them how to handle it.
This broadcast of this young man did not just happen for an hour. It stayed up. Did anyone take action?
I think MLJ is right, this was a laugh. Mockery and meanness pass for acceptable humor these days, i.e. Stephen Colbert.
Jul '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
Midget Faded Rattlesnake
have you heard of the suicide fences at Cornell?
Unlike the tragedy at Rutgers, Cornell has historically had lots of suicides. The usual explanation's the pressure-cooker academic atmosphere and the opportunities provided by the deep gorges cutting through the campus.
As for decency among college students, decency and good manners should have been instilled in people years before they get to college.
Edited on Oct 15, 2010 at 9:25amJul '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
Not for nothing, but I guess the morality questions about his behavior that was being taped is beyond question?
The problem with the infantilization of society and in particular extended adolescences is that it results in these promiscuity and other issues. Not too long ago, men and women were married by 22 to 26, and were probably dating that person for a year or more before marriage. They had responsibilities beyond the 3 page term paper on "What's Wrong with the White Male," and would find engagements such as this indecent and not worth their time.
Aug '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
ConcernedCanadien: Mike Adams wrote a piece called "Eight Straight Suicides" to put things in perspective. Read through to the end. I'm not sure his conclusion is necessarily the answer, but his identity comments are spot on.
http://townhall.com/columnists/MikeAdams/2010/10/15/eight_straight_suicides · Oct 15 at 8:03am
Having known committed Christians who have struggled with suicidal tendencies or self-harm issues (yes, they eventually won -- or God won through them -- but it wasn't easy), I found this piece shamelessly manipulative.
It makes its point well, I admit. But at what cost?
I am not sure this sort of journalism contributes to the restoration of decency on campus.
Edited on Oct 15, 2010 at 9:08amAug '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
No, it is not. This young man was to some extent the perpetrator of his own downfall. He would have been even more responsible for his shame had he consented to the taping. As it is, the young folks who did the taping bear a large amount of responsibility, too, and would have even if their motivation had come from a justifiable resentment at being constantly "sexiled" by this guy.
I could be wrong about this, but I think the increase in sex before marriage has also coincided with an increase in the length of engagements. What I can say is that couples who abstain before marriage are generally quite eager to get married as soon as possible once they realize that they are "the ones" for each other.
Edited on Oct 15, 2010 at 10:11amRe: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
Plainly one can debate the state of sexual activity on campus, and deplore an approach that seems to worry only whether a condom was used.
That said, it still seems to me that you don't have to be a priest or a rabbi or an expert in any religion or ethical system to know that it's a gross violation of privacy to tape someone involved in a sexual encounter and broadcast it to others for sport. Only on our campuses do people seem to be unable to appreciate that.
Aug '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
Bill McGurn:
...it's a gross violation of privacy to tape someone involved in a sexual encounter and broadcast it to others for sport. Only on our campuses do people seem to be unable to appreciate that.
The savage impulse to publicly shame a person whose selfish approach to his sex-life is getting on your nerves is one I can actually relate to.
The roommates who resent you for "walking in" on them because you need to get a textbook from your own dorm room in order to study, since studying's supposedly what college is for... the guy in the next room who keeps you up the night before a midterm with his groanings and bonkings and his girlfriend's shrieks... it's not surprising that fed-up college students might secretly feel that those publicly shamed for such inconsiderate behavior (I do not know if that was the case here) are getting what's coming to them.
Still, relating to an impulse, or even having it yourself, is not the same as acting on it. That important difference is why more of us aren't facing the same charges as these two voyeuristic miscreants.
Edited on Oct 15, 2010 at 1:49pmSep '10
Re: Are University Students Getting Shafted?
I graduated from a large public university within the last 5 years. It was rife with sex and booze. Morals certainly weren't high on the mind of most people I knew.
Saying all of that, I can't think of anyone within my general circle of friends that would think it was anything but grossly perverted and disgusting to secretely tape someone engaging in sexual behavior (let alone broadcasting it to the public). The two perpetrators would have been rightly ostracized and ridiculed for being freakish deviants.
Of course, there were about 40,000 students on campus, so maybe I simply wasn't aware of the existence of that "element".