Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
In the most controversial op-ed I've read today, Keith Koffler at Politico says that cats are Republicans. And dogs are Democrats. Here's how his argument begins:
When cats are born, they believe they are in a state of liberty, and from then on they are determined to keep it that way. No one tells them what to do. They don’t believe it takes a village, because they know they might have to take instructions from the village idiot in the local government.
And, sorry if you’ve got one and you’re a Republican — but dogs are liberal Democrats. Some are possibly Socialists, though probably none will ever admit it.
Dogs are communal by nature. They run in packs. They dream of their days as wolves, sharing responsibilities.
I don't know. Something sounds fishy. (My fish are Constitution Party, for what it's worth.)
While I prefer cats to dogs (although growing up out West, my cats were always the type to chase the dogs), I've always believed felines have a sense of entitlement. Dogs, on the other hand, work for their keep even into old age. They're loyal. Deeply conservative creatures. Cats are elitists. They love drugs (well, catnip). Clearly they're liberals.
What do you think? Is Koffler right? Are cats Republicans? It might explain why Rich Lowry and Margaret Thatcher prefer them. And why do I imagine Claire sitting with one of her kitties, stroking his fur and laughing right now?
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Comments:
Aug '10
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
"I think people should elect a cat person. If you elect a dog person, you elect someone who wants to be loved. If you elect a cat person, you elect someone who wants to serve." - Stephen Harper (Conservative Prime Minister of Canada)
May '11
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
Dogs are clearly Republicans because they are incapable of self pity.
Aug '11
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
The cow is a poem of compassion, and the porterhouse is pure loving-kindness.
When the cows Go Galt, it won't matter what party the cats and dogs are in.
Dec '10
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
In defense of dogs, most of them were bred to work at something (guarding, hunting, herding...). The fact that most of them remain unemployed is hardly their fault. They're Republicans living under socialist regimes with extremely high unemployment rates.
Also, every dog I've ever known is ferociously protective of property rights. I had to feed my Samoyeds in separate rooms!
And for national/domestic defense, can you even imagine an army of cats? Pfffft. Pfffft. Meow......purrrrr. Puhleaze!
Yes. They always find the allergic person in the room and rub all over her legs.
Apr '11
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
I think we're missing the point: Cats and Dogs are both center-right creatures, and would certainly be members of Ricochet. Cats make up our libertarian wing of the right, and dogs are our more conservative, traditional social structure types.
Jun '10
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
Western Chauvinist:
And for national/domestic defense, can you even imagine an army of cats? Pfffft. Pfffft. Meow......purrrrr. Puhleaze!
Yes. They always find the allergic person in the room and rub all over her legs. · Aug 19 at 11:26am
The only uses cats could possibly have in defense is if, inconceivable though it may be, a nation of dogs was attacking and then they would engage in ineffectual guerrilla raids (swiping at the noses of dogs and then running for high ground); and as WC says, they might limited use in causing sneezing attacks by the enemies with cat allergies. Frankly, I think they'd sell us all out in a minute.
Edited on August 19, 2011 at 9:36pmAug '10
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
tabula rasa
Western Chauvinist:
And for national/domestic defense, can you even imagine an army of cats? Pfffft. Pfffft. Meow......purrrrr. Puhleaze!
Yes. They always find the allergic person in the room and rub all over her legs. · Aug 19 at 11:26am
The only uses cats could possibly have in defense is if, inconceivable though it may be, a nation of dogs was attacking and then they would engage in ineffectual guerrilla raids (swiping at the noses of dogs and then running for high ground); and as WC says, they might limited use in causing sneezing attacks by the enemies with cat allergies. Frankly, I think they'd sell us all out in a minute. · Aug 19 at 12:35pm
Edited on Aug 19 at 12:36 pm
The nation of dogs would be easily overcome by throwing a brightly-coloured ball in their general direction.
I'd be more afraid of an invading force of cats, because they've been collectively plotting against us for at least 3,000 years now. If they ever finally put that plan into action, it'll be apocalyptic.
Sep '10
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
Diane Ellis, Ed.: Blue Yeti! Your pets are adorable!
Here are mine:
Both animals share a sense of entitlement, which I guess makes them both Democrats. But it's less obnoxious with the dog because at least she displays gratitude when her needs are met. · Aug 19 at 9:33am
The dog is hiding behind the cat and seems to regard it as a human... er, feline... shield. Liberal Democrat. Case closed.
Apr '11
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
I'm a bird person. I guess that makes me flighty.
Jul '10
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
Peter Robinson: "Do you know what it's like to be condescended to by a canine?"
Oh, Peter. Do I ever. The other day, Napoleon's vet explained the difference between std poodles and labs. A lab will do things to please its master; a std will stop and think about it - then decide if it's the right thing to do. But aren't they just the greatest? Nearly 10 years ago someone gave him to me as a pup and there hasn't been a day since then that he hasn't given me a hearty laugh. Definitely a conservative as rare is the liberal who can make people laugh in pure joy.
BTW, he's eight in the picture to the right.
Apr '11
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
Cats are Welfare Queens. They can hear the refrigerator open from three backyards away and come running. Oh, sure, now and then they'll leave a dead mouse in the middle of the bedroom rug to make you think they're working, but I ask you...Really!?!?
Dogs are definitely liberals, if not more so. When they dream of wolves, it's of Rousseauan, Noble-Savage wolves of liberal fantasy.
Real wolves are natural-born free-market Republicans: They have strong family values, believe in competition and coöperation, and kill the weak to feed their young.
Edited on August 19, 2011 at 10:54pmI used to tell my kids that wolves are good because they eat whales (nasty, barnacle-encrusted, glabrous beasts, traitors to their class [Mammalia], which had struggled for eons to evolve into terrestrial quadrupeds—-whales just gave up; and their songs sound like Paul Winter on a bad day, and they look like Michael Moore on a good day). When the whales swim upstream to spawn, I told my children, wolves crouch on the banks. They reach out with their bushy tails and tickle the whales’ blow-holes. The whales sneeze and flip over on their backs, and the wolves pounce on the whales’ soft underbellies and devour them.
Nov '10
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
Having been "owned" by a dainty, yet highly individualistic female orange tabby for 16 yrs, I'd have to say that cats are definitely libertarians.
May '10
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
I'll wager these dogs vote Republican.
Nov '10
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
Geez, these aren't merely dogs- these are soldiers.
Edited on August 20, 2011 at 2:46amJul '10
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
Conservative Dogs.
Couldn't find Conservative Cats.
Oct '10
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
Remove the human element, just observe feral cats and packs of wild dogs from a distance. As the result will be the same when either are elected. Think about that...
Edited on August 20, 2011 at 2:57amFeb '11
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
Squirrel!
Jun '10
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
No question my PomChi, Otto, is a Republican. He used to have a couple of stuffed chew toys. One was a little round mouse named Nancy Pelosi. The other was a little round raccoon named Harry Reid. Sometimes I'd see them sitting together on the couch, plotting evil. Otto was like an avenging warrior. He'd tear into them, growling and shaking them and send them flying across the room.
Re: Are Cats Or Dogs More Republican?
barbara lydick: Peter Robinson: "Do you know what it's like to be condescended to by a canine?"
Oh, Peter. Do I ever. The other day, Napoleon's vet explained the difference between std poodles and labs. A lab will do things to please its master; a std will stop and think about it - then decide if it's the right thing to do. But aren't they just the greatest? Nearly 10 years ago someone gave him to me as a pup and there hasn't been a day since then that he hasn't given me a hearty laugh. Definitely a conservative as rare is the liberal who can make people laugh in pure joy.
BTW, he's eight in the picture to the right. · Aug 19 at 1:27pm
True, true. Poodles don't take orders. If you're lucky, they collaborate. But they're joy machines.