Are Americans Getting Ruder?
I'm in Colorado right now, land of my birth, and my husband and I can't get over how nice everyone is compared to Washington, D.C. I know, shocking. My husband drove to the grocery store yesterday and said that three people yielded their right of way to him, smiling as they waved him on.
The other thing I notice is how nice retail and service workers are. I'm used to going through an entire grocery store trip without any pleasantries and dealing with people either incapable or unwilling to speak to their fellow humans . But yesterday we talked to the produce manager and stockers and when we checked out, our conversation included jokes about shapeshifters and beer. It was so nice.
This Rasmussen Reports survey suggests we think Americans are getting ruder in the new economy:
A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 76% of Adults say Americans are becoming more rude and less civilized. Just 12% say they’re becoming kinder and gentler, while just as many (12%) are not sure. The number of Americans who believe their fellow citizens are getting ruder is up from 69% this time last year , but shows no change from September 2009 .
What do you think? Are cell phones in public and rude sales staff getting you down?
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Jun '10
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
I lived in Colorado for four years and the rest of my rather long life in Utah. The attitude of people in both states to others is much the same: polite, mostly upbeat, and friendly.I've not noticed much of a change, either way.
Caveat: I do my best to stay out of all types of retail establishments. But folks on the road still seem to be pretty easy to get along with.
May '10
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
It's fair to say some places are getting ruder, though perhaps not everywhere. A lot of it has to do with population density. Our big cities are getting bigger. In my experience, it's in areas with high traffic and few familiar faces that one most often encounters rudeness.
Part of that is just urban vs rural attitudes toward life. The people of Houston and the people of Mobile, Alabama live at completely different paces.
It's getting harder to wave people on at intersections because windshields are tinted so darkly you can hardly see people anymore.
Edited on Aug 5, 2011 at 8:08amJun '11
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
I haven't really noticed a change (in California). Folks are fairly friendly here.
Apr '11
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
Surveys, especially for such subjective topics as manners are notoriously suspect, but the entire northeastern US (pretty much from the Mississippi eastward above the Mason-Dixon line) has historically been percieved as, shall we say, charm-challenged by us midwesterners. When I had the misfortune to move for eleven hellish months to southeastern Michigan, f'rinstance, I experienced the same sort of grocery store snubbery as you report from DC. If you acknowledged another human being with any sort of pleasantries, the best you could hope for was knowing you'd successfully revealed the fact "you aren't from around here, are you?" Dorothy is right. There's no place like home.
Jul '10
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
You are starting to see the effects of how people behave online spill over into everyday society. When someone spends all night on message boards insulting other people and being as nasty as possible, it's only a matter of time before that mindset becomes habitual and exhibits itself in all their interpersonal contact.
Feb '11
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
First, Colorado is just amazing in that respect. There are all sorts of reasons that contribute to it, I think. The sun, the weather changes, the general availability of parking spaces, maybe even a general sense of individualism, …
D.C. has everything going against it.
It may be plausible that people are less polite in economic downturns; but I suspect that Americans are generally as polite as we have ever been. Obviously, some standards of politeness change. And if we could take a God’s eye view of history, we might find that kids in the 20s were more polite than kids in the 80s (or vice versa). But I don’t think that there has been a major shift one way or the other.
May '11
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
I bet those phone surveyors got some very rude comments, especially if they phoned at dinnertime.
Jun '10
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
I don't know if Colorado has an ethnic-, union-, or politically-based spoils system, or a history of having one. I think that's what causes a lot of the hostility in the Northwest. Where there's a strong political spoils system, there's a perpetual standoff going on, and so you have to know who you're talking to before you get too friendly.
Edited on Aug 5, 2011 at 8:39amSep '10
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
etoiledunord: I don't know if Colorado has an ethnic-, union-, or politically-based spoils system, or a history of having one. I think that's what causes a lot of the hostility in the Northwest. Where there's a strong political spoils system, there's a perpetual standoff going on, and so you have to know who you're talking to before you get too friendly. · Aug 5 at 8:39am
Edited on Aug 05 at 08:39 am
Fascinating thesis, and probably right, mostly. The possible exception is Hawaii, a state as firmly part of the spoils system as any, yet quite friendly on the whole. Maybe climate plays a role.
Mar '11
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
Hmm, there is something to the idea but this misses the mark. It would be more accurate to say that the citzenry has become rather coarse. Popular entertainment has elevated ghetto culture to our national culture. Etiquette, decorum and self-restraint have become archaic relics where they are not actively disdained. The gangster thug is a figure to admire, while a successful entrepreneur is often viewed with suspicion. You can see this in simple things such as how slovenly people dress in public or how ubiquitous tatoos and piercings have become.
May '10
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
I don't know that the correct word is "rude." Shall we try "coarse?" The dictionary would probably tell you they are synonyms but I disagree. The former indicates a certain level of intent while the latter a level of ignorance.
In its efforts to compete with cable, broadcast television has pushed the envelope on language and subject matter and in so doing as broadened the limits of what people believe is acceptable language and behavior in public. The debate has moved beyond whether "hell" or "damn" is only to be used after 9pm to the context of when it is acceptable for one to drop the F-bomb.
Forty years ago it would have been considered rude for two guys to swap spit in the back booth of a restaurant even though no one may have seen them because the place would be shrouded in a blue haze of cigarette smoke. Now it's not only rude to light up but illegal, all the while all sorts of behavior have become the norm.
Apr '11
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
JFK one quipped "Washington [D.C.] is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm."
Aug '10
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
I would say probably people are getting progressively ruder. But my tack for about 15 years is that my attitude and behavior shape my experiences. I use traffic and the grocery store, as often as I remember (which increases over time and with repetition) as "workshops" where I stay in the present and breathe deeply. In the market or the car, when I stay awake, I can consciously project light and positiveness. If it sounds trite or pollyhanna-ish, so be it. I have witnessed countless times a turnaround from a previously glowering or prune-faced fellow shopper. It is a matter of changing the world with our own behavior, and not calling out others for theirs.
Jun '10
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
The Northwest? Not my experience at all. Despite all my whining about The People's Republic of Oregon, I find that people in the general public here, downtown Portland included, are enormously friendly.
I also hate to say it, but especially among native Oregonians, we have a fairly negative view of East Coasters. I'd be bold enough to say that the western U.S. is far friendlier than the eastern U.S. (how's that for throwing down the gauntlet). Part of it is population density, but then again, I'd stack up the West's big cities vs. the East's big cities any day.
Jan '11
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
Even though Austin's population has skyrocketed and downtown traffic is becoming a disaster, I haven't noticed people here getting testier in recent years. The grocery store clerk still takes time to chat with the old lady who probably hasn't talked to anybody else all week, and the people behind her don't shuffle and sigh impatiently.* The librarian is still pleasant when I come in to pay my debt to society with nine overdue books and nothing smaller than a twenty in my pocket. Yesterday I was in a minor traffic jam where a freeway exit ramp feeds into an overcrowded street and people were taking turns: one car from the exit ramp, one from the street, with no honking or shoving. Texas may be crispy dry and hot hot hot this summer, but as far as the people are concerned, it's still a great place to live.
*Admittedly, you have to take into account that the grocery store has really good air conditioning, so maybe nobody's in that much of a hurry to leave.
Oct '10
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
I recently moved from Chicago back to Texas, and immediately noticed how shockingly courteous the average Texan is compared to the average Chicagoan -- particularly those in service professions. I had completely forgotten what it was like to be smiled at and told "thank you - have a nice day."
I really do believe there's a close correlation between rudeness in a geographic location and the proportion of people receiving government assistance -- in other words, the more entitled people feel, the less kind they will be to others.
Edited on Aug 5, 2011 at 9:13amMay '10
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
Not to mention athletes who act boorish and get celebrated for it, like hiding a Sharpie marker near the endzone so he can autograph the ball when he scores, or planting a cellphone in the goalpost and going to answer it, or mooning the crowd.
Dec '10
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
Dave Molinari
I also hate to say it, but especially among native Oregonians, we have a fairly negative view of East Coasters. I'd be bold enough to say that the western U.S. is far friendlier than the eastern U.S. (how's that for throwing down the gauntlet). Part of it is population density, but then again, I'd stack up the West's big cities vs. the East's big cities any day. · Aug 5 at 9:10am
The definition of "Back East" - anything East if Interstate 5.
I have a slightly different take on the whole rudeness concept though. I'm thinking it has more to do with sensory overload than rudeness. We've become slaves to technology - when someone actually speaks to you, you're forced to tear yourself away from your smartphone, from your video game, from Ricochet.com...
Mar '11
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
EJHill as always you outshine and show how my half formed thoughts could appear if only properly polished.
May '11
Re: Are Americans Getting Ruder?
I work in a bakery. One thing we do that I enjoy is we'll give little kids a free cookie. It warms my heart because the parents will always tell their children to ask in a pleasant manner and say "please" and "thank you". A rude trend I've noticed are customers talking on their cell phone perplexed that they're not being helped out. Should I be rude and interrupt their conversation and ask if they need help?
Edited on Aug 5, 2011 at 9:41am