1. I am the government your god, which have brought you out of the land of Freedom. You shall have no other gods before me.
2. You shall make for yourselves any flattering likeness of me, and carry it with you out of your adoration for me: for I the government your god am a jealous god, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generation of them that hate me, in the form of government debts and deficits. And showing mercy to millions of them that love me and keep my commandments in the form of welfare checks, extended unemployment and favorable regulation policies for campaign contributions. Selah.
3. You shall not take the name of the government your god in vain (which includes but is not limited to "Oh, my government", "government damn it", "Barack H Obama!").
4. Remember the sabbath day...No, I'm asking. I shot 6 over par that day.
5. Honour your father and your mother if you want: that your days may be long upon the land which the government your god gives you.
6. You shall not kill. I have my own list for that.
7. You shall not commit adultery without a really good reason like, you couldn't find a reason not to.
8. You shall not steal...unless you call it a tax, penalty, mandate, fee, surcharge, raising government revenue or fine.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor unless you are a liberal democrat or progressive.
10. You shall not covet your neighbors house, your neighbors wife, nor his ox, nor his ass nor anything that is your neighbors. Just be patient and eventually I the government your god will redistribute the wealth so you will have nothing to covet or be coveted.
I am the government your god and I have spoken.
Have I missed anything?