Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Dan Drezner gave me a copy of his book Theories of International Politics and Zombies before we appeared together on Fox News this morning. I read the (short) book on my trip back to Washington, and found myself laughing at his deadpan take of how different foreign policy schools of thought would react to a zombie attack on humanity. His chapter on the neocons – “The Axis of Evil Dead” – was particularly amusing.
Drezner is not the only one to try to apply supposedly serious thought to the silliness of zombie-ism. 2009’s New York Times Magazine’s “Year in Ideas” issue had an article called “Zombie-Attack Science,” about a computer model that measured the effects on mankind of a zombie outbreak. The model found that if humanity were faced with a zombie-conferring virus that followed the rules as laid in George Romero movies – in which, for the uninitiated, zombie bites permanently and irreversibly turn the bitten into zombies -- we would be quickly over-ridden within about seven to ten days. According to the article, “There was only one winning solution: fighting back quickly and fiercely.” Unsurprisingly, this was what Drezner thought would be the neocon approach, although he was less bullish on its prospects for success.
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May '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
I think this is awesome and very interesting. It's a metaphor for any number of hypothetical apocalyptic scenarios like biological attacks, not to mention a good study in the history literature and the human psyche.
Dec '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Of course, in the event of actual zombie attack, the problem rapidly self-limits, since zombies can't find enough food to sustain themselves over any appreciable time horizon. Especially if they limit themselves to feeding on living flesh, and even more so if they further specialize to eating only brains.
Jun '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
I, for one, am grateful that we're beginning to see some academic studies of the Zombie threat. Our friend Jonah Goldberg has been a voice crying in the wilderness.
I can only hope this will become a central campaign issue in 2012.
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Stuart Creque: Of course, in the event of actual zombie attack, the problem rapidly self-limits, since zombies can't find enough food to sustain themselves over any appreciable time horizon. Especially if they limit themselves to feeding on living flesh, and even more so if they further specialize to eating only brains. · Feb 16 at 2:33pm
How does it self-limit? How much food do zombies need to sustain themselves? I need to brush up on the biological constraints of the undead.
Dec '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Just another example where lefties should consider themselves in greatest jeopardy from the threats they ignore. They are inclined to believe they have the corner in the brains market, yet they foolishly ignore the threat of zombies.
Nov '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
I sense an analogy to the welfare state coming on.
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Actually, we have a serious zombie expert in my family: Into the Zombie Underworld.
Oct '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Don't forget the ultimate zombie tale (and New York Times bestseller) adapted from Jane Austin, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies ! Learn how Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy handle the zombie onslaught while dealing with courtship in a lovely English village. Academic...YES
Dec '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Diane Ellis, Ed.
How does it self-limit? How much food do zombies need to sustain themselves? I need to brush up on the biological constraints of the undead. · Feb 16 at 2:41pm
Zombies are undead, so their tissues aren't working at full capacity, including inefficient digestion. (In "I Am Legend," the latest version with Will Smith, the zombies aren't dead but have a high metabolism that requires constant feeding.) Add to that the need for massive protein replenishment to keep their muscles working - no wonder they're always hungry.
And they don't make new food - they only use up what's at hand. They'd tend to eat up new kills instead of leaving enough behind to reanimate. And soon they'd starve to death (if not decompose and fall apart).
Dec '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
No fair -- that's real Haitian zombies, not the cool Richard Matheson/George Romero/Tobe Hooper kind.
May '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Resident Evil is my preferred zombie myth. The solution is simple: hot chicks with guns.
Come to think of it, we had better start prototyping.
May '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
What a dark, twisty story, Claire. I was particularly struck by this passage:
The big, takeaway: Obama's world goodwill tour again gets zero results (see how I did that?)
No, really, people, not making that up. It's in the article. A great read.
Oct '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Diane Ellis, Ed.
How does it self-limit? How much food do zombies need to sustain themselves? I need to brush up on the biological constraints of the undead. · Feb 16 at 2:41pm
Sorry Lady, what part of Socialism escapes you...They simply run out of resources.
Dec '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Aaron Miller: Resident Evil is my preferred zombie myth. The solution is simple: hot chicks with guns.
Come to think of it, we had better start prototyping. · Feb 16 at 5:04pm
What about Planet Terror? Hot chicks who ARE guns!
Dec '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
I guess when I write my zombie opus, their nemesis will be a guy named Malthus.
Dec '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Kennedy Smith
. · Feb 16 at 5:05pm
Wow, I guess you really can't go home again... if you're supposed to be undead.
Sep '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Zombies have been a staple of Anglo Saxon Philosophy of Mind for decades. Do you people not get out that much any more?
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
Like everything else in this benighted culture, zombies are currently experiencing a slip into definitional vagueness. Zombies, properly speaking, aren't undead but are, rather, dead-like humans under the control of a zombie-master. Obama voters circa 2008, for instance. Over time -- thanks to excellent films like "Night of the Living Dead" -- the definition morphed into encompassing the risen-dead, who roam the earth and feast on human brains. Sort of like federal regulators. Now, of course, the definition has enlarged to include brain-infected no-longer-human monsters -- often the victims of some viral epidemic -- who roam the earth, sometimes feasting on brains, but often just roaming in violent and murderous packs.
The best new-definition zombie movies in ages are the 28 Days Later series, which manage to be incredibly creepy and also right wing. In the first movie, the deadly virus is unleashed by animal rights activists. In the second, when the entire island of Great Britain is occupied by American forces, it's their very humanity that dooms the continent of Europe, when [SPOILER ALERT] an American GI lets a young boy back into the quarantine zone rather than shooting him dead through the fence.
Aug '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
The thing you have to realize about the book is that it's not really about zombies but is basically a book-length "how many IR scholars would it take to screw in a lightbulb" joke. If you know anything about the various schools of IR it's extremely funny.
Oct '10
Re: Academics Studying . . . Zombies?
IE.. Rob Long..Well stated, save zombies will always be with us..In the flesh..