A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
Does it matter whether someone you date--or eventually marry--shares your political beliefs?
I ask because I was listening to the radio this morning when I heard an ad for a conservatives-only dating website called conservativesonly.com. I don't remember what the ad precisely said, but it was geared at women and went something like this: "Tired of looking for Mr. Right, ladies? Check out conservativesonly.com to finally find someone you're truly compatible with."
Here's what the website says:
Welcome to ConservativesOnly.com, a place where like-minded people can meet, get to know one another, connect, and find the meaningful relationship you've been searching for. ConservativesOnly.com makes it easy and safe to meet the fun, intelligent, conservative men or women you're looking for.
Have you ever spent time talking to someone only to find out you have very different beliefs? Dating can be difficult, time consuming, and expensive. Why not start your search with people who share your ideals? Ideals and values are the groundwork for any successful relationship. ConservativesOnly.com helps you find people who share your principles. With ConservativesOnly.com, you can browse singles, share photos, send messages, and broadcast yourself for others to get to know.
Whether it's a casual dating experience or a partner for the rest of your life that you're looking for, ConservativesOnly.com helps you to find just the person. Sign up today and meet the conservative man or woman of your dreams.
Let's put aside the strange fact that online dating is becoming more and more prevalent (and that people shop for dates online like they do for apartments!)--and consider another question: is actively seeking out a date who more or less shares your political beliefs a strange thing to do? Or is it a wise move? Speaking from your own dating and marriage experiences, what do you think? Is political compatibility a prerequisite to a successful relationship?
Regardless of the answer to that question, there are plenty of examples of hand-holding across the aisle, as the NYTimes puts is. Political consultants James Carville and Mary Matalin come to mind as just one example. Here's what they told CNN's John King a couple of years ago about how they've managed to stay together despite their political beliefs:
King: Our viewers have watched throughout the year. And so you come in here exclusively with us. And they often ask, "How can these two disagree so much and get along?"
And so we asked people to text in a question for James and Mary. And here's what we got from Indiana:
"Love you both. Can you show both houses of Congress your secret for compromise?"
Matalin: Well, we're not a democracy. We're an enlightened MOM-archy. That's what we are. [Cross talk.]
Carville: I don't -- it's nothing if -- as long as one person is not arguing, there's nothing to argue about. I don't have a -- [Laughter.]
Carville: I don't have a position on anything domestically. So I just say yes, and then go on and do it. I mean it. I would say the three ingredients to successful marriage is surrender, capitulation and retreat. If you've got those three things -- [Laughter.]
Matalin: Spoken like a true liberal. What a martyr. Faith, family and good wine. That's how we do it.
Faith, family, and good wine. There are certain things, it seems, that are more fundamental and important than politics.
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Oct '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
Go where you find the fish you are trying to catch. My wife and I met in Bible college. 42 years later we still have our faith, family and favorite wines to give credit to for the years we are having. Our politics are informed by our faith, so we do not have to work through the problems generated by disagreement. Does an Evangelical persuasion lead to a conservative political philosophy? I say that is the case.
Since I am a political junkie, and my wife is a raycon junkie, it works out great.
May '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
I think it's tougher if both are ardently political in clashing ways. But a political person and an apolitical one can be ideal. The apolitical one provides grounding and a sense of proportion.
Dec '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
Relationships these days can be problematic when you don't believe in nagging outside of marriage.
Nov '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
I wonder what a “dating” website does for anyone since those millennials don’t date. They “hook up.” I guess no one would want to call it a hookup website.
That aside, the majority of those youngsters are so underdeveloped in every way they haven’t thought anything through enough for anyone to predict whether they will be liberal or conservative. I think two liberals marrying and not discovering until much later that they have incompatible world views in fairly common. Is there a website for that?
May '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
The ad was ostensibly directed at women but only men will join.
Dec '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
TeeJaw : I wonder what a “dating” website does for anyone since those millennials don’t date. They “hook up.” I guess no one would want to call it a hookup website.
That aside, the majority of those youngsters are so underdeveloped in every way they haven’t thought anything through enough for anyone to predict whether they will be liberal or conservative. I think two liberals marrying and not discovering until much later that they have incompatible world views in fairly common. Is there a website for that? · Feb 8 at 7:20am
These kind of sites are not for "young" people. They're long out of college.
Dec '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
Where's the fun in that?
I've always heard that lefty girls are easy.
Jul '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
If someone is political it tells you something about their world view.
Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you'd be arguing all the time?
Aug '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
I met my wife via a dating website while I was deployed. We would never have have gotten (or stayed) married if we weren't both conservative.
I spent 6 years single after I divorced the eX Spousal Unit (XSU). With one exception, I conducted all of my initial screening activities ("Stew's Rules") via dating websites.
Joan and I didn't meet in person until 5 months after we met online.
Edited on February 8, 2011 at 4:50pmRe: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
Kennedy Smith: But a political person and an apolitical one can be ideal. The apolitical one provides grounding and a sense of proportion. · Feb 8 at 7:05am
This is in fact my situation. It works most of the time. And I do find that being in a relationship with an apolitical person provides me with a sense of grounding and perspective.
Dec '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
My late wife was somewhat liberal. We got along well, but I am not a person who believes that liberals are evil. One of my best friends is a self-described socialist.
Aug '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
My wife and I have a great deal of overlap in our political views and theological views which I think, tend to go hand in hand. Life is hard enough without not being yoked to someone with whom you can share (as in agree upon) the thoughts you have at your core.
While in college I dated some lovely liberal ladies with whom I had a good time and many challenging discussions but it certainly is for the best that I didn't marry and have children with any of them.
Edited on February 8, 2011 at 5:58pmMay '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
Differences between a liberal and a conservative are like differences between a Christian and a Buddhist. As Michael says, it's about fundamental worldviews. Such differences are more important when married than when dating.
For example, one's thoughts on how to raise a child (or even if children are wanted) are greatly influenced by one's worldview. Both sides of the couple will have strong feelings about the subject. Is one open to abortion if money is tight or the fetus is handicapped? Should the child be baptized? Is it alright to spank the child?
Worldviews even affect how one perceives marriage itself. Is it a contract ("I'll be faithful if you are")? Or is it a promise ("I unconditionally devote myself to you")? This basic perception affects how quick or slow one is to consider divorce in hard times.
Many churches require couples wishing to be married to attend a pre-marital counseling program which raises these questions and many others. They require this because the sad reality is that many people get married without first discussing their marital expectations.
In short, a shared worldview is always important, if not always necessary.
Aug '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
The dating site OkCupid.com has a really interesting blog (http://blog.okcupid.com/) where they analyse the gargantuan mountain of information they have collected from their users and report on various topics.
In the latest post, they look at correlations between answers on seemingly unrelated questions, and come up with some surprising results.
The one that is most germane to this thread is: "What question should you ask to find out if someone is a conservative or a liberal?"
The answer turns out to be: "Do you prefer the people in your life to be simple or complex?"
People who prefer complexity are 2:1 more likely to be liberal. People who prefer simplicity are 2:1 more likely to be conservative.
(FYI: If you want to know if a woman will have sex on a first date, the best question to ask is apparently: "Do you like the taste of beer?")
May '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
My current bride of 3 1/2 years thought herself a liberal. She knew I was conservative and was worried it would be an obstacle in our marriage when we got engaged. I didn't see it as a problem because she wasn't politically active.
Within a year of our wedding, she discovered Thomas Sowell, Peter's Uncommon Knowledge videos, and Mark Steyn's "America Alone" (she had spent a few years in Holland and found Steyn and Ayaan Hirsi Ali's works compelling.)
Today, she makes me feel downright centrist. Information is the key...
Nov '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
AmishDude
These kind of sites are not for "young" people. They're long out of college. · Feb 8 at 7:23am
My wife’s brother lived with her parents until he was 45. I don’t know what “young” is anymore.
Dec '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
Born and raised in New England folks. I can tell you some horror stories. I agree that you can get along with a liberal well enough to date, but sometimes its just a wall not worth scaling. Here are two favorites from the last few years in particular;
I could go on but its mostly the same kind of stuff. The last nice, fun, intelligent woman I met in RI was actually from Tennessee. She even got my Atlas shrugged bumpersticker. She didnt agree, but she got it. Even going with me to a Mark Steyn speech this month in Stoughton, MA!
May '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
Your situation is somewhat similar to mine. My wife was a lefty, but it was more knee-jerk, emotional, and inherited from a left-leaning family. But she's very smart with a sweet heart, and I just knew she'd come around politically, especially if I didn't push too hard.
Sure enough, 17 years later she's well to the right of center, even to the right of me in some cases (... to the mild dismay of her family, although I bet even they'd admit that it's been nice to be exposed to a conservative idea or two held by two people they know to be good, decent, and smart.)
Feb '11
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
My wife voted for Bill Clinton. Today she has a giant pink elephant sticker on the back of the minivan.
On the other hand, my brother married a liberal and now he's a metrosexual.
Sep '10
Re: A Conservatives-Only Dating Website
My wife is from Germany an inherited all the typical Euro-drone traits. Still, she is a very hard worker and fiercely independent. 12 Years as a psychotherapist dealing with patients and other therapists (mostly liberal of course, and many are sloppy in dealing with patients) has moved her rightward ever so incrementally and she is beginning to question the basic lefty worldview.
She doesn't follow politics closely enough for us to get into arguments and she can't vote (heh,heh). She thinks politics is a waste of time. maybe she is right - but if everyone has that attitude (and a lot of Europeans do) you get Euro-style politics.
This dating site is probably a good way to avoid a left-wing activist who would probably be unable to date a conservative anyway. I don't know how Matilin stands Carville - I have to believe he says a lot of that stuff for show and is a cynic in reality.
Also people can find disagreements no matter what. I argue with other conservatives and libertarians more readily (some of you may have noticed..ahem) than with leftists who I've realized aren't worth the energy.