2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
As many of you know—especially those of you who plan your social life around the Mayan calendar—the end of the world is coming in 2012. Recently, a hit film simply called 2012 showed the planet cracking up and threatening not only the earth’s nearly 7-billion people, but even worse, John Cusack and his family.
The Mayans—like the Aztecs—were a fairly well-advanced civilization in southern North America. They built great monuments, had advanced mathematical and scientific systems, and, all in all, despite minor issues with things like human sacrifice and slavery, were pretty well ahead of their time.
I don’t know all the arguments for and against, but there are people who believe the Mayan calendar points to the world ending on December 21, 2012. All sorts of websites have sprung up with information on just how this will happen; something about sunspots or colliding galaxies or Rosie O’Donnell getting a new talk show. Whatever it is, supposedly nations are preparing by building secret underground chambers for their leadership and some of their population. Now I’m not smart enough to figure out whether any of this is real, and, to tell you the truth, I’d feel better if the Mayans had been able to predict the end of their own civilization. Still, I'm thinking about fast-tracking my bucket list just in case.
There are some upsides to the impending apocalypse. For example, coming a few days before Christmas, I won’t have to do any gift shopping in 2012. And in the off chance the world doesn’t end, there would still be a few days left to pick up some stuff at the mall. It would also mean the 2012 Presidential election would be our last, so we wouldn’t have to endure to any more political campaigns, and it would also mean the end of the Kardashians.
I don’t mean to make light of the end of the world, but it’s just that there doesn’t seem to be much I can do about it. So I’m just going to try to enjoy the next 28 months or so. After all, if John Cusack survived, maybe I can, too.
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Jul '10
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Had the Mayans foresaw "global warming[?]"
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Hmmm...possibly, Jimmy. Or, maybe they foresaw the current administration
May '10
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Obama wins again? Sounds like the end of something.
Jun '10
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Pat Sajak:
[S]upposedly nations are preparing by building secret underground chambers for their leadership and some of their population.
Pat: We all know you're a humble guy, but I can't imagine that you would not be included in the group that is saved. I do think you're right about the Kardashians: ditto: Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton.
Jul '10
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Do we really think it's fair to classify "2012" as a hit...?
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Well, according to Box Office Mojo, it made about $166 million in the U.S. on a $200 million budget, but it did over $600 million internationally.
tabula rasa
Pat Sajak:
[S]upposedly nations are preparing by building secret underground chambers for their leadership and some of their population.
Pat: We all know you're a humble guy, but I can't imagine that you would not be included in the group that is saved. Aug 31 at 10:25am
I assume I'd be included. Even the apocalypse needs an emcee.
May '10
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Sounds like an opportunity to employ a variation of the "Golgafrincham Solution."
Once they're all sealed up in their bunkers we don't have to rush to give them the "all clear."
Edited on Aug 31, 2010 at 11:09amRe: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Now you tell me! My wife just signed a three-year lease on some office space.
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Adam...
Obviously from a clever Mayan landlord.
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Ricochet Line of the Week:
May '10
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Pat, you may be on to something. Here is more proof the apocalypse is on its way.
Aug '10
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
The Earth will be eaten by a giant, pan-dimensional space donkey in 2012. Believe it.
Aug '10
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Gee, thanks, Pat. Now I guess I'll take "2012" off the movie rental list...
Jun '10
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Since when are underground bunkers safe in an apocolypse? I'll be happy to stay above ground, thanks.
Jun '10
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Pat Sajak
Well, according to Box Office Mojo, it made about $166 million in the U.S. on a $200 million budget, but it did over $600 million internationally.
tabula rasa
Pat Sajak:
[S]upposedly nations are preparing by building secret underground chambers for their leadership and some of their population.
Pat: We all know you're a humble guy, but I can't imagine that you would not be included in the group that is saved. Aug 31 at 10:25am
I assume I'd be included. Even the apocalypse needs an emcee. · Aug 31 at 10:37am
But will Vanna be there?
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
tabula rasa
But will Vanna be there? · Aug 31 at 1:52pm
You try walking in high heels while spelling "APOCALYPSE!"
May '10
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
So on the day Mr. Sajak brings up his name, John Cusack wishes us nothing but death.
Mr. Cusack tweets:
I AM FOR A SATANIC DEATH CULT CENTER AT FOX NEWS HQ AND OUTSIDE THE OFFICES ORDICK ARMEYAND NEWT GINGRICH-and all the GOP WELFARE FREAKS
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
EJHill: So on the day Mr. Sajak brings up his name, John Cusack wishes us nothing but death.
Mr. Cusack tweets:
I AM FOR A SATANIC DEATH CULT CENTER AT FOX NEWS HQ AND OUTSIDE THE OFFICES ORDICK ARMEYAND NEWT GINGRICH-and all the GOP WELFARE FREAKS · Aug 31 at 3:10pm
It'll be interesting to see how this is covered compared to how coverage would likely be if, say, I were to tweet something as outrageous aimed at Liberal targets.
May '10
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
Pat Sajak
You try walking in high heels while spelling "APOCALYPSE!" · Aug 31 at 3:01pm
Well, there was this one time in college...
Re: 2012: Goodbye, Cruel World
EJHill: So on the day Mr. Sajak brings up his name, John Cusack wishes us nothing but death.
Mr. Cusack tweets:
I AM FOR A SATANIC DEATH CULT CENTER AT FOX NEWS HQ AND OUTSIDE THE OFFICES ORDICK ARMEYAND NEWT GINGRICH-and all the GOP WELFARE FREAKS · Aug 31 at 3:10pm
To which I say: I don't blame Cusack. I blame the dosage. It needs to be increased. Or the prescription needs to be modified to one of the newer antipsychotics, like Seroquel or Zyprexa. My guess -- and I'm not a doctor -- is that Cusack is on one of the cheaper SAG medical plan approved generic antipsychotics like chlorpromazine or haloperidol. Those have side effects (like weight gain and increased glucose) which may be the reason he's (clearly) stopped taking them as prescribed.
We conservatives need to be more compassionate. Don't hate the mentally ill. Just change their meds.