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Exclusive — Jon Gabriel Plans to Skip CPAC, Pre-Eminent Conservative Gathering, in 2016
MESA, ARIZ. — Beloved Editor-in-Chief Jon Gabriel plans to snub the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) this year, and won’t show up at all, Ricochet.com has learned exclusively.
CPAC is hosted by the American Conservative Union (ACU) in National Harbor, Maryland, just outside Washington, D.C. In 2016, the conference will be held right after Super Tuesday from March 2 until March 5. Because DC is just lovely in the dead of winter.
That Gabriel is skipping the pre-eminent annual conservative gathering of thousands of activists in a presidential election year is extraordinarily telling about the direction of his career as management desperately sings his praises in a last-ditch bid to help Ricochet get 10,000 members.
Ricochet stalwarts James of England and 6foot2InHighHeels, as well as shadowy Daily Shot writer Fred Cole, have previously confirmed their attendance at CPAC this year — and each has attended the gathering in previous years. Gabriel has never attended — not even the 2013 CPAC alongside his mentor, former Editor-in-Chief and giraffe enthusiast Troy Senik.
ACU chairman Matt Schlapp noted how important this year is for conservative activists.
“This is the year of the conservative grassroots activist,” Schlapp said. “We need to restore and protect our Constitutional freedoms and put a stop to Obama’s liberal run-away train. Hugh Hewitt of Townhall, Ed Morrissey of Hot Air, and Leon Wolf of Red State are each battling to represent conservatives in the website wars, and CPAC 2016 will allow activists to hear their vision. But will Jon be there? Nooooo! He’s too special!”
What’s perhaps most troubling for Gabriel is that this so-called “editor” has been pushing a theme blending politics and pop culture as though he is the next in line to carry the mantle of Andrew Breitbart’s legacy. As if. But his decision to abdicate the one true conservative faith by skipping this seminal conference comes as his record falls under close scrutiny from both Rob Long and Peter Robinson who wonder why he made the decision in 2015 to spend Ricochet’s entire technology budget on plastic-jug whiskey and rare ’80s post-punk LPs.
“Look, you try editing The Daily Shot at 11:30 every night without a tumbler or two of Sam’s Club bourbon,” Jon slurred before passing out.
What’s more, this comes as questions begin emerging about whether Gabriel can even draw eyeballs online, even with the entire Twitter #TCOT establishment behind him. Worse still, the Apache Junction Picayune-Intelligencer on Monday detailed how Gabriel doesn’t pull overgrown weeds from his front yard and lives on a diet of cheese enchiladas and deer jerky.
When asked why Gabriel is skipping CPAC, Ricochet’s long-suffering podcast producer Blue Yeti replied via instant message, “It’s not even noon, he’s still asleep. Now quit bothering me on Slack, I’m trying to record the latest Uncommon Knowledge.”
In less important news, some senator might not attend, but his spokesman wouldn’t confirm.
Published in Humor
Screw him.
I just want to say that I respect the honorable editor’s decision. He is a good and honorable man.
Ricochet higher-ups had to know this kind of thing would follow when they hired one of the most controversial figures in the Rightosphere. I blame them for this public relations Hindenberg.
Jon was later heard saying “The bible? Is that a book or something?”
Typical. Also, Gabriel said there were no answers in the book he saw me reading.
Well his loss because he would have had the chance to stay with my family for free with plenty of Cigars and Scotch. I live in the neighborhood right behind the National Harbor in Fort Washington, MD.
I wish I wouldn’t have purchased that non-refundable airfare. Thanks ExJon.
I am announcing my continued boycott of CPAC because it is on a work day and I can’t make it. (Yes, I often work on Saturdays.)
I am also continuing my boycott of Mardi Gras in New Orleans because it is really hard to take vacation days in February.
And I am boycotting New Year’s in Times Square because it’s so expensive and transportation is really a hassle. And I usually get invited to a friend’s house for something.
You may all go about your business now.
My understanding is that Andrew Breitbart isn’t likely to be there either. Even in spirit.
What a perfect response to a nothing story.
Pieces like these are what make Ricochet worth the price of membership.
I heard a rumor that Tom Meyer has fired his Com Director. Something about this story stinks… and it ain’t yesterday’s fish.
Rumors that Gabriel would instead be attending high level peace talks at Mar-a-Lago have been characterized as “unsubstantiated.”
Uh, so this has nothing at all to do with DC in the winter, right Jon?
Sad I will miss missing Exjon and lively debate with fellow Conservatives.
But what everybody really wants to know is how many Ricochetois will be at the Manning Centre Networking Conference in Ottawa this weekend?
It’s been called Woodstock for Canadian conservatives by pundits with poor imaginations.
Anybody? Bueller? Bueller?
I’m so very lonely…
We’re always happy to have you move on down. There’s plenty of room for one more.
Stick it to the CPACe.
“Beloved Editor-in-Chief Jon Gabriel…”
Who says he’s beloved? :-P
This seems to be inside baseball without the baseball.
I’ll honor the occasion from afar by talking in a squeaky voice.
Yeah, it’s that book with Two Corinthians buried about 3/4 of the way back.
I thought it was because he might have had to eat at Chipotle.
Your mocking us aren’t you
So, it is home to Netroots Nation for you?
Wait, are those female Corinthians?
Is the Bible a binder full of women?!
Does inside baseball keep stats on deflection?
Bill Whittle told me it was a beautiful city. Why would he lie?
All the cool kids get banned from attending CPAC.
You’re doing it wrong.
I am not any kind of Trump fan, but the flak he gets about this isa overdone. It is clear that he pays no attention the Bible, but referring to 2nd Corinthians as “2 Corinthians” is not the telltale; every single British teacher or pastor refers to the “second books” that way. Go listen to a minister in the UK.
Just seconding this.
And to note that the reason he’d use the British way is because his mother is born in Scotland.
He thinks the Scottish healthcare system works incredibly well, in case you’d forgotten.
Mark it down. Duane is all in for Trump!