Diane Ellis · April 13, 2012 at 12:26am

The day I graduated from Dartmouth College was one of those hot, humid June days on which you start dripping sweat the moment you step out of the shower.  And in those conditions, the cheap, suffocating black polyester robes the graduates must sport can be used as makeshift ovens.  So enduring a multi-hour commencement ceremony was in itself no easy feat.

It was made even more difficult by a lousy choice in commencement speaker: Liberian President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf.  Due to a heat stroke I was surely experiencing, and the fact that hardly a word she uttered was intelligible, I can't recall a word she said in what seemed to be the eternity she stood on stage.

So seeing a list of some of the speakers scheduled to give addresses at commencement ceremonies this year, I can't help but be a bit jealous (But not too jealous because who really needs another speech from Barack Obama?).  The following ten graduating classes all have it better than my class did.

  1. Barnard College – Barack Obama
  2. Colby College – Tony Blair
  3. Harvey Mudd College – Bill Nye the Science Guy
  4. Northeastern University – Colin Powell
  5. NYU – Sonia Sotomayor
  6. Princeton – Steve Carrell
  7. Smith College – Jane Lynch
  8. Southern Methodist University – Condoleezza Rice
  9. Stanford University – Newark Mayor Corey Booker
  10. Syracuse University – Aaron Sorkin

Comments:



Joined
Mar '12
Madcap

At my college, we got Governor David Patterson my year (He told us about his public transport policy. No, really) and Margaret Atwood my husband's year (She warned us about the dangers of creeping theology). The year before I graduated, Michael Bloomberg was the speaker. The high point of that speech was when a yelling student interrupted him.

Mollie Hemingway, Ed.

I didn't go to mine, but we had U.S. Rep. Pat Schroeder. So sad.

Ethan Safron
Bradley University
Ethan Safron

Will Aaron Sorkin be writing the President's speech?

Eric Ames
The College of William & Mary
Eric Ames

We have Jim Lehrer this year. Hardly optimal, but you can do a lot worse. I know my parents got Art Buchwald, and the year after them got William F. Buckley, Jr.

R. Craigen
Joined
Nov '10
R. Craigen

Barnyard College?  He's hit the big time.

Mister D
Joined
Dec '11
Mister D

I had EL Doctorow. Spent two hours in the sun listening (or not) to an unmemorable meandering stump speech waxing nostalgic about Kennedy and the Good Democrats, and criticizing Nixon and the Bad Republicans (at least that's what stood out the most - it was too disorganized to say it was a true theme). Perhaps it would have had more resonance were I graduating in 1972 rather than 1992.

To add insult to injury, next year's speaker was Kermit the Frog.


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