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What Feminists Really Want for Their Daughters: A Maid

Carolyn Jones, feminist, tells the story of shopping with her mother for her three-year-old daughter’s birthday present here. Sure, there’s all the requisite feminist angst about glass ceilings and Barbie’s DD breasts and persistent gender inequality in housekeeping duties, but I find the whole read de…

  1. Jojo

    Like everything you say here. I’m so eager to help you pile on that silly woman that I’m typing this awkwardly on my iPhone. First, as you say somebody has to clean the toilet. But most men do handle a lot of routine chores. I don’t know how to run the lawn mower (I should learn.) Twice I have seen my husband knee deep in his family’s sewage , fixing a problem he did not cause. Believe me I have no right to complain about cleaning the toilets. Second, my daughter loved pink and Barbie stuff, ignoring those toy bulldozers I got her. She is now a smart and assertive career woman making more money than I ever did. And she is not overly concerned about housekeeping (trust me.) Third, I love your pointing out that feminists don’t mind someone else’s daughter cleaning their toilets.

  2. Richard Fulmer
    Jojo Third, I love your pointing out that feminists don’t mind someone else’s daughter cleaning their toilets.

    Reminds me of some lines from a Greek comedy in which a character,  expounding on the solidarity and brotherhood of communism, is asked, “But who will do the work?”  He answers, “The slaves, of course.”

  3. Underground Conservative
    Central Scrutinizer: I had to google cruet. · 0 minutes ago

    Me too!

  4. Lord Humungus

    I had to google cruet.

  5. Western Chauvinist
    Jojo: Like everything you say here. I’m so eager to help you pile on that silly woman that I’m typing this awkwardly on my iPhone. First, as you say somebody has to clean the toilet. But most men do handle a lot of routine chores. I don’t know how to run the lawn mower (I should learn.) Twice I have seen my husband knee deep in his family’s sewage , fixing a problem he did not cause. Believe me I have no right to complain about cleaning the toilets. Second, my daughter loved pink and Barbie stuff, ignoring those toy bulldozers I got her. She is now a smart and assertive career woman making more money than I ever did. And she is not overly concerned about housekeeping (trust me.) Third, I love your pointing out that feminists don’t mind someone else’s daughter cleaning their toilets.

    Just wanted to affirm that Mr. Chauvinist does work around the house too! It’s just that he’s more inclined to step over things (and leave crumbs on the counter) in order to get to the cave cooking pit. 

  6. Lord Humungus
    Dave Molinari

    Central Scrutinizer: I had to google cruet. · 0 minutes ago

    Me too! · 15 minutes ago

    I’m gonna check when I get home to see if a) we have cruet and b) whether those damned things are dirty.

    Vision this:

    Her:   ”Hey, that animal is bleeding all over the floor; go hang it outside.”

    Him:  “Hey, those freakin’ cruets are fi-il-thay”

    We’ll see what gets hanged outside then, yes we will.

  7. Gretchen

    But I do hate it when Mr. Somavilla points out that Grandma’s cut glass cruet seems to have lost its lustre. ;-)

  8. Midget Faded Rattlesnake
    Western Chauvinist:

    Let’s face it, women will continue to shoulder the lion’s share of housekeeping, because it’s more importantto us. It is in our nature to keep the cave tidy and free of pests. If you marry a man expecting the even distribution of housework, you’re in for some unpleasantness.

    Only a fool would have married Mr Rattlesnake for his housekeeping abilities. On the other hand, it seems that only a fool would have married  me  for  my  housekeeping abilities.

    Sometimes I think I was born without the tidiness gene. It’s not the washing and scrubbing that’s the hard part — in fact, I rather enjoy those things. It’s the sorting and the organizing, especially in a poky apartment with more books and papers than bookshelves. (And the divorce rate among our socks is simply shocking.)

    Once a month or so, we do have a professional cleaner come in for about an hour. Her main purpose isn’t actually to clean things. It’s to shame  me  into making sure I’ve put the house in order before she gets there!

  9. Fricosis Guy

    Don’t be cruet. A cruet heart is true.

  10. Western Chauvinist
    Central Scrutinizer: I had to google cruet. · 51 minutes ago

    Photo helpfully added. Part of my mother’s actual collection. 

  11. Kim K.

    After 31 years of marriage I’ve made my peace with a)ironing husband’s work clothes, b) window washing, c) bathroom cleaning, including the toilets.  I can’t say I actually enjoy doing those things, but in a way I do, because I love the satisfaction of having the husband looking pressed, windows I can see out of, and sparkling toilets and sinks. (The kids are growing up which REALLY helps with the toilet and sink sparkle factor!) The husband is smart enough to tell me how much he appreciates living in a clean house. Is it glamorous work? No, but it is extremely satisfying.

    Maybe after 40 years of marriage I’ll finally make peace with dusting.

  12. WI Con

    I try to avoid this type of discussion with my wife in person. I’ll continue this policy of mine in cyberspace.

  13. Lord Humungus
    Western Chauvinist

    Central Scrutinizer: I had to google cruet. · 51 minutes ago

    Photo helpfully added. Part of my mother’s actual collection.  · 1 minute ago

    Thank you. They’re very clean. You’re setting a very high bar.

  14. Midget Faded Rattlesnake
    Western Chauvinist

    Central Scrutinizer: I had to google cruet. 

    Photo helpfully added. Part of my mother’s actual collection.

    Oh. I always thought those were liquor decanters.

  15. D.C. McAllister
    C

    Everyone needs to decide for themselves, of course. But IMO, if you’re both working a full-time job, you should share the housework. Period. If a man doesn’t want to do it, then let him live in his filth. If the man stays home, and the wife works, he should do the housework—he has the time. If the woman stays at home, and the man works, then she should do the housework. Same reason. It’s a dividing of time and responsibilities issue, not a male/female issue. As for denigrating household work, I’ve basically told my daughters that they need to be trained to be able to get a job to support themselves. I have taught them to never get into a position where they’re 100% dependent on a man (or anyone) with no way out. I’m not saying that they can’t choose to stay at home. They can, especially to raise children. That’s fine, but if they do, they need to have the capability and training to take care of themselves if they need to so they’re not trapped in a situation where they can’t get out.

  16. Richard Fulmer
    Fricosis Guy: Don’t be cruet. A cruet heart is true.

    You have to be cruet to be kind (or refined).

  17. Richard Fulmer

    Feminists may be unintentionally setting their daughters up to be unhappy since they will likely enter marriage with a chip on their shoulders and oversensitive to imagined slights.  Marriage is hard enough without one of the partners just waiting to be offended.    

  18. PsychLynne
    Midget Faded Rattlesnake

    Sometimes I think I was born without the tidiness gene.

    I, too, share this genetic disorder and bought a card prominently posted on my fridge:

    While I cook, and based on feedback, appear to have some ability in that area, my other domestic skills leave a great deal to be desired.   

    Ok…the image refuses to appear…here is another try and the link:

  19. Brian Clendinen
    Western Chauvinist:I’ll concede housekeeping isn’t glamorous.  But, to state the obvious,someone has to do it!Let’s face it, women will continue to shoulder the lion’s share of housekeeping, because it’s moreimportant to us. It is in ournatureto keep the cave tidy and free of pests. If you marry a man expecting the even distribution of housework, you’re in for some unpleasantness.

     That is the key, nature.

     I just hate this culture that tries to force personal preferences that are dominant and even strictly feminine onto males. God mad the sexes different, get over it.

    I remember for years my mom never going out without make-up on. I thought is was stupid and out right vain for years thru my early 2o’s and never understood. Then after a while I just realized it is was a personality trait in a females nature and accepted it.  Realizing there are masculine personality trait that logically are silly but we like doing it anyways because it is how we are built.

    Although wise women almost always have a lot more of these logically silly traits than wise men. ( Dangerous words.  I know).

  20. Richard Fulmer
    sawatdeeka

    Richard Fulmer

    sawatdeeka

     I found the exact same thing to be true for me.  I have a degree in gender studies (like she talks about) and thought I knew everything about everything.  Then (whoops!) along came my precious little one.  Now things like defecit spending do worry me, because I wonder what will happen to my kid.  Now things like studies of ducks mating habits and the protection of the wolf/moose balance on some island mean a lot less to me.  Now I do think that people on welfare need to pick themselves up and work, like I do.  Now I realize that most of what we studied in the university means nothing in the real world.  

    Keynes’ statement that “In the long run, we are all dead,” was one of the most obscene quips ever made.  Yes, in the long run we are all dead, but others will be alive.  When we have children we begin to understand that, and all of a sudden “kicking the can down the road” no longer seems like such a good option.

    Richard, I hope it was clear that I was quoting a commenter from the link WC provided.

    Absolutely

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