Today Is My Anniversary

I live in London, UK, with my partner. I am a solicitor (attorney), now retired. She is a specialist clinician, a systemic psychotherapist working as part of a multi-disciplinary team in a service for children and young people with mental health problems, and their families. She is also a painter.

Today is the sixth anniversary of our civil partnership (civil union). If it had been possible, Liz and I would have registered our partnership in 1987, which is when we decided to buy a house and sp…

  1. Franco

    It makes perfect sense to me. However, what doesn’t make sense is that you mark your anniversary to the date the State recognizes your relationship. I’d suggest you mark it when you as a couple committed to the relationship. Happy 25th!

  2. Fred Cole

    Yeah. The only thing that doesn’t make sense is that you only count it as six and not the full number of years!

    (Damnit, Franco!  Why did you beat me to it?)

  3. Foxman

     With whom you share your life is your business.

  4. Bluenoser

    In this crazy, (won’t use the word)ed world when ever two people can find in each other someone whom, on balance, makes them happier, for that length of time, it is certainly something to be proud of. 

    Life is hard and maintaining a healthy romantic relationship is even harder.  Especially, given our culture that advocates ending them on the first sour note.  So congratulations!

  5. Gaby Charing

    This morning we were woken by the news bulletin. When they announced the date, we looked at each other and said, oh my goodness, it’s our civil partnership anniversary. We’d both forgotten :-) But in the summer we had a big party to celebrate our 26 years together. So yes, you are right. Thank you all for your good wishes. I know that I am very lucky.

  6. flownover

    Your business. Your life. 

    Now let’s get back to wondering how the UK will wrench itself free from the Corryvreckan that is Europe .

    What do you think about that from your perspective ?

  7. Brandon Zaffini

    Gaby, you started your relationship the same year I was born. Not important, just interesting to me. 

    I’m glad you don’t want to undermine religion, but I’m not sure a gay union could do that anyway. I’m also glad to hear you do not intend any detriment to society. Good intentions….

    Last, I think it’s important you receive respect as a human being, as a hardworking person, and for your other contributions to society. You ask for too much though. Respect for you and respect for some of your choices are two different things.

    You ask for the opportunity to live a normal family life. You had that opportunity. What you’re actually wanting, though, is for Christians and other similarly-minded religious folk to change their thinking on what constitutes a normal or appropriate family life. 

    That is an anti-religious sentiment, and, some would argue, a sentiment that is dangerous to societal health. 

  8. Crow

    Happy anniversary, Gaby.

  9. iWc

    I am with the other folks: your life, your choices.

    I am for civil unions between any two adults – there are good reasons to allow this, with no assumptions about the nature of the relationship beyond the legal definition allowing rights of survivorship, implied power of attorney, etc. Just think about the benefits of such a relationship when a child chooses to take care of an aging parent.

    By the same token, others are free to hold their own opinions about whether a relationship is a “marriage” or not. I think that “marriage” should NEVER be defined by government: people can get “married” under any auspices they like – could be married under Shariah, or according to Hindu tradition, or according to the Church of Pete and Bob. That leaves everyone free to decide what marriages they accept – or not.

  10. KC Mulville

    I’m curious. You sound like a perfectly normal person. Why do you need me to approve of (or support, or even respect) your relationship?

  11. Ignatius J. Reilly

     All of this is VERY understandable. 

    We simply differ on first principles, on what constitutes “normal” family life. 

  12. Larry Koler
    Gaby Charing:

    I don’t want to undermine religion. I have no problem with religion, although I am not myself a believer. And I certainly don’t want to destroy the fabric of our society. I feel too much part of it to want to harm it.

    What I do need, and feel entitled to expect, is the same opportunity as other people to live a normal family life. I should also like people to respect my relationship with Liz, which I am very proud of.

    Why not get familiar with the actual concerns of conservatives rather than parrot all the left-wing talking points and straw man tropes. You have a responsibility to show you understand before you start asking whether what you said makes sense. 

    I could go into these points but I think that is for you to do. Get informed and show us you can think if you want sympathy or you want attitudes to change. Stop parodying the right. 

  13. Leslie Watkins

    I’m with you, Brandon, until the last paragraph, which undercuts your earlier good will. What does it matter to you if Gaby’s sentiments are anti-religious in a societal sense? Unless your desire is to impose your sentiments on nonbelievers.

    Brandon Zaffini: I’m glad you don’t want to undermine religion, but I’m not sure a gay union could do that anyway. I’m also glad to hear you do not intend any detriment to society. Good intentions….

    Last, I think it’s important you receive respect as a human being, as a hardworking person, and for your other contributions to society. You ask for too much though. Respect for you and respect for some of your choices are two different things.

    You ask for the opportunity to live a normal family life. You had that opportunity. What you’re actually wanting, though, is for Christians and other similarly-minded religious folk to change their thinking on what constitutes a normal or appropriate family life. 

    That is an anti-religious sentiment, and, some would argue, a sentiment that is dangerous to societal health.  · Dec 21 at 9:00am

    Edited on Dec 21 at 09:01 am

  14. Nobody

    Happy Anniversary, Gaby.

    And Brandon, where in your brief life have you learned to think like that?  Do religion and “societal health” really depend upon some “normal” class of  people being able to look at a relationship like Gaby’s and denounce it as abnormal and inappropriate?  

  15. Doug Kimball

     I’m of the opinion that sexual preferences is a developmental thing, established invitro by a confluence of factors.  That being the case, these are not choices, but natural tendencies. Hence it is best for all to be out and accepted, so one has a chance to find a mate.  Of course, I also believe that male sexuality, naturally restrained by the opposite sex, can be a problem if met with its unrestrained self.  The sooner society deals openly with same sex attrraction, the sooner we can deal openly with its problems and excesses.  Civil unions are necessary for that., but I stop at marriage, with its religious and deep cultural implications.

    Merry Christmas to you both.

  16. Rob Long
    C

    Makes sense to me, Gaby.  

  17. Tommy De Seno
    C

    I have no problem if the state let’s you get fully married.

    But when you ask others for “respect” (or acceptance or honor) you DO ask them to abandon their religious principles.  You may not like the sound of you forcing a value judgment contrary to their religion (it reeks of fascism), but that’s exactly what you do when you command a moral acceptance as opposed to a legal one.

    I will offer to you what I expect from you in return:  That you stay out of my decision to marry my wife.  I need not your respect, honor or acceptance and I don’t seek it.  I bought a marriage license because I had to, and I considered it an imposition.  Just stay out of my way – both government and others.

    That said, Happy Anniversary!  If I were where you are, I’d buy you both a drink.

  18. Gus Marvinson

    Gaby,

    I understand your reasoning, I just don’t agree with it. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. I sin, though my sins are different than yours. But I shall not be guilted by “tolerance” into accepting any sin as the norm, whether yours or mine.

  19. jetstream

    Civil unions make perfect sense.  So Gaby, Happy Anniversary.

  20. Bob Schwalbaum

     In the immortal words of the elder Bush.. I have no objection to whatever you do.. just “stay in the closet”..

    And don’t ask for the State to place the sanctity of the word “marriage” on your relationship.

    And just suppose EVERYBODY was homosexual.. from whence would come the next generation.

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