Goodyear.jpg

The Most Beautiful Words in the English Language

Pitchers and Catchers Report.

Baseball is God’s Game. The Bible tells us so, that in the Big Inning, God created the Heaven and the Earth.

An Angel looked up to God and asked, “Padre, is this heaven?” and God said, “No, this is Iowa.”

The Earth was void and God marked the land – white lines on fields of green and with a skin smoother than a baby’s backside. He placed on this field diamonds of white, just 90 feet apart and in the 4th corner a welcoming place, a place where you s…

  1. Judith Levy, Ed.
    C
    EJHill: Pitchers and Catchers Report.

    Beautiful indeed. 

  2. Tommy De Seno
    C

    Love this!  Might frame it and hang it in my home.

  3. John Peabody

    Very good.

  4. Colin B Lane

    Thanks EJ. Cheerful and uplifting words one day after learning that Pope Benedict XVI is rounding third and heading for home.

    PS, glad you mentioned Crosley inasmuch as it is fairly indisputable that God is a Reds fan.

  5. Percival
    The burden of hard hitting. Slug away       Like Honus Wagner or like Tyrus Cobb. Else fandom shouteth: “Who said you could play?       Back to the jasper league, you minor slob!”       Swat, hit, connect, line out, get on the job. Else you shall feel the brunt of fandom’s ire       Biff, bang it, clout it, hit it on the knob— This is the end of every fan’s desire. The burden of good pitching. Curved or straight.       Or in or out, or haply up or down, To puzzle him that standeth by the plate,       To lessen, so to speak, his bat-renoun:       Like Christy Mathewson or Miner Brown, So pitch that every man can but admire       And offer you the freedom of the town— This is the end of every fan’s desire. The burden of loud cheering. O the sounds!       The tumult and the shouting from the throats Of forty thousand at the Polo Grounds       Sitting, ay, standing sans their hats and coats.       A mighty cheer that possibly denotes That Cub or Pirate fat is in the fire;       Or, as H. James would say, We’ve got their goats— This is the end of every fan’s desire.

    (cont.)

  6. Percival
    The burden of a pennant. O the hope,       The tenuous hope, the hope that’s half a fear, The lengthy season and the boundless dope,       And the bromidic; “Wait until next year.”       O dread disgrace of trailing in the rear, O Piece of Bunting, flying high and higher       That next October it shall flutter here: This is the end of every fan’s desire.

    ENVOY

    Ah, Fans, let not the Quarry but the Chase       Be that to which most fondly we aspire! For us not Stake, but Game; not Goal, but Race—       THIS is the end of every fan’s desire.

    –Franklin Pierce Adams

  7. Benjamin Glaser

    Pittsburgh Pirates 2013 World Series Champs!

  8. Colin B Lane
    Percival: The burden of a pennant. O the hope,       The tenuous hope, the hope that’s half a fear, The lengthy season and the boundless dope,       And the bromidic; “Wait until next year.”       O dread disgrace of trailing in the rear, O Piece of Bunting, flying high and higher       That next October it shall flutter here: This is the end of every fan’s desire.

    ENVOY

    Ah, Fans, let not the Quarry but the Chase       Be that to which most fondly we aspire! For us not Stake, but Game; not Goal, but Race—       THIS is the end of every fan’s desire.

    –Franklin Pierce Adams 

    Well, I think it goes without saying that Mr. Adams was a Cubs fan.

  9. Percival
    Colin B Lane

     

    Well, I think it goes without saying that Mr. Adams was a Cubs fan. · 3 minutes ago

    Actually, he was a Giants fan in a period where the Cubs regularly frustrated the Giants.

    Also by Mr. Adams:

    These are the saddest of possible words: “Tinker to Evers to Chance.” Trio of bear cubs, and fleeter than birds, Tinker and Evers and Chance. Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble, Making a Giant hit into a double Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble: “Tinker to Evers to Chance.”  
  10. Whiskey Sam

    Only four months til the Mets are eliminated!

  11. EJHill
    Franklin Pierce Adams, the legendary F.A.P. of “The Conning Tower” in various New York papers, baseball poet and launcher of some of the wittier careers in American literature. Said Dorothy Parker, “He raised me from a couplet.” Like Tinkers, Evers and Chance, he, too, was once a formidable member of a formidable trio – the regular panelists on the most intelligent game show ever devised, Information Please! For 13 seasons across the networks of NBC, CBS and Mutual, F.A.P. dueled with fellow journalist John Kiernan and musical genius Oscar Levant while host Clifton Fadiman somehow got them to play the game.

    We should revive that show for Ricochet.

  12. Tommy De Seno
    C
    Whiskey Sam: Only four months til the Mets are eliminated! · 1 hour ago

    I’d curse you out right now for defaming my beloved team -  if this weren’t true. :-(

  13. Mr. Dart

    The title says it all, Brother Hill.  But then you revive the verse that the great Ernie Harwell recited at the beginning of the first spring training game each year…  I got shivers, EJ.

    That turtledove is calling.  Play ball!

  14. RightinChicago

    2013…  The Year of the Tiger

    tigers2.jpg

    Thank God that Baseball is back!!!

  15. Whiskey Sam
    Tommy De Seno

    Whiskey Sam: Only four months til the Mets are eliminated! · 1 hour ago

    I’d curse you out right now for defaming my beloved team -  it this weren’t true. :-( · 16 minutes ago

    We’re in the same boat, brother.  I’ve about worn out my Gooden t-shirt waiting for another trophy.

  16. EJHill
    Terry:   But then you revive the verse that the great Ernie Harwell recited….

    As a credentialed member of the media I am prohibited from seeking autographs. The only two I ever sought out as an adult were from non-players – Sparky Anderson, who taught me the game and the beauty of the triple-negative, and one William Earnest Harwell, whose Southern charm and gentlemanly ways made him a legend in our business of broadcasting.

    Harwell has the distinction of being the only announcer acquired in a trade (the Dodgers sent catcher Cliff Dapper to the Atlanta Crackers of the Southern League in 1948 when Brooklyn needed someone to fill in for the ailing Red Barber) and the man who called Bobby Thompson’s “Shot Heard ‘Round the World” on NBC television and of which there is no surviving copy.

    (BTW – Both signed baseballs now belong to my son.)

  17. KC Mulville

    EJ, not to dispel any mystery, but do you get to cover baseball?

  18. Franz Drumlin

    Wonderful for thee, but not for me, sayeth a fan of the Chicago Cubs (61-101 in 2012).

  19. Frank Soto
    C

    Huh, they’re still playing baseball.  How quaint.  

    My dismissiveness of the sport has nothing to do with the sorry state of my Mets, I assure you.

  20. EJHill
    KC Mulville: EJ, not to dispel any mystery, but do you get to cover baseball? 

    Not on a daily basis. I did during the ’90s. Traveled with an MLB team as part of their broadcast team (behind the scenes tech work, of course.)

    The game is glorious, the travel is not. Road trips that encompass three or four cities, waking up in a panic because you don’t know where you are, walking into a wall in the middle of the night because yesterday the bathroom was in a different location, bad food and horny baseball players with their latest baseball honey in the room next door… I quit after seven seasons of that.

    I still love the game. But not in the way of Ken Burns-Fox-ESPN where the world revolves on a train line between Boston and the Bronx. It’s in the refining of the swing of eight year olds and sitting on the sun porch at Great American Ballpark while your youngest watches every move of Brandon Phillips, both in the field and at bat.

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