Ted ‘Bully’ Cruz: Bad Boy of the U.S. Senate

The secret is out.

Unable to maintain the storied façade of Senate collegiality, Majority Leader Harry Reid reluctantly spoke a dark truth about newly minted Senator Ted Cruz. “My friend from Texas is like a schoolyard bully,” Reid said from the Senate floor, more in sadness than in anger.

It took the most powerful man in Congress to say publicly what many nervous senators have sai…

  1. Miffed White Male

    I’ve got to find a way to use that “speaking of drones” line.

  2. Grimaud

    When talking to McCain, Cruz keeps muttering under his breath

    “Sphincter says what?” and McCain keeps saying, “What?”

  3. Concretevol

    Thanks for a laugh this morning!  It may be satire, but nicely captures how disruptive Cruz seems to have been to certain pompous Senators. 

  4. Jimmy Carter

    Awesome!

    Warriors reference to boot.

    Great stuff.

  5. Constantinus Magnus

    Can you DIG IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

  6. Brian Watt

    Yo! Dude, well done. Fist pump.

  7. EDISONPARKS

    Awesome funny!

    Too bad it’s only satire, the Dana Milbank swirly will have to remain  fantasy unfulfilled.

  8. dittoheadadt

    #3 was LOL-funny.  The rest were just – Jimmy’s right – awesome.

  9. BrentB67

    Excellent

  10. Jon Gabriel, Ed.

    My first outing on Ricochet. Thanks for the kind words.

  11. Vice-Potentate

    Stuffing RINOs into lockers? shameful.

  12. DocJay

    Chunky swirly is a better fantasy.

  13. Fricosis Guy

    I didn’t realize @ExJon had any progressive friends.

  14. Beowulf

    Well played, Sir.  Welcome aboard.

  15. Barbara Kidder

    Do you suppose Senator Cruz reads Ricochet?

    He’d love this!

  16. John Davey

    Ricochet just got that much better with it’s newest Contributor!

    Incidentally, when Ted Cruz sees either Pete Carroll or Jim Harbaugh on TV he jumps up and yells “What’s your deal?”

  17. Larry Koler

    Very funny — thanks, Jon.

    Re: number 2 — did he have a pack of cigarettes rolled up in the sleeve of his T-shirt? Necessary descriptive detail don’t you think? Since he had a toothpick (which is an excellent touch) his oral fixation was temporarily satisfied but I gotta tell you even then it seems like he should have that cigarette pack somewhere in sight. I mean if he’s really a bully. 

  18. Pencilvania

    Excellent!

    Written like a man who’s popped his collar and a few punks in his time.

  19. EThompson

    I’m running with the pack on this one; absolutely hi-larious!

    And an honorable mention goes to any member who mentions one of my favorite guys:

    John Davey: Incidentally, when Ted Cruz sees either Pete Carroll or Jim Harbaugh on TV he jumps up and yells “What’s your deal?”

  20. Jon Gabriel, Ed.

    Actually, he had a filterless cigarette behind his ear.

    Larry Koler: Very funny — thanks, Jon.

    Re: number 2 — did he have a pack of cigarettes rolled up in the sleeve of his T-shirt? Necessary descriptive detail don’t you think? Since he had a toothpick (which is an excellent touch) his oral fixation was temporarily satisfied but I gotta tell you even then it seems like he should have that cigarette pack somewhere in sight. I mean if he’s really a bully.  · 22 minutes ago

  21. Brasidas

    This is hilarious, Jon.  More, please.  #2 is my favorite, by the way. 

    How about: Comes up behind Al Franken in the hallway and knocks stack of folders  he’s carrying to the floor.  

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