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Q: What do Papua New Guinea, Turkmenistan, and Monaco Have in Common?

A: They are the only countries in their respective regions which did NOT send Ricochet any visitors during November.

Yup. We had visitors from 156 countries last month, and they seemed to completely blanket every part of the globe except Africa and the poles.

But then I noticed a few, isolated empty spots:

South America: French Guyana

Europe: Monaco

Central Asia: Turkmenistan

Southeast Asia: Laos

East Asia: North Korea

Oceania: Papua New Guinea

Africa’s only about 50% represented, and …

  1. outstripp
    The Logo: A: Southeast Asia: Laos

    We have our work cut out for us. ·

    I’m surprised. Hey, when I was in Laos a couple years ago I had good internet connections.  I recommend it highly.  My wife and I especially liked the shop in Luang Prabang where Mick Jagger buys his salad bowls.  We’re very fashionable people.

  2. Misthiocracy

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  Never trust anybody from Svalbard.

  3. Michael Tee

    Ooh, bouncing targets…

  4. Kenneth

    If you’re suggesting that I go to Antarctica to comment, forget it. 

    Let Lileks do it.  Antarctica and Minnesota are pretty much the same thing and maybe the penguins will think his tired schtick is still amusing. 

  5. Rob Long
    C

    Logo, in the interests of full disclosure, I have to say that I’ve been to Turkmenistan — I once spent $200 sending 3 short emails from a hotel in Ashgabat.  And the sad thing is, what Turkmenistan needs, more than anything, is what Ricochet has: smart, conservative, free market conversation.  Monaco doesn’t need us — in fact, they need us to fail: if Ricochet is successful and tax rates plummet, Monaco won’t even need to exist. 

    North Korea is on its own.  But it might be nice to have at least one person there, if only listening to the podcast.

  6. Kenneth
    Rob Long: Logo, in the interests of full disclosure, I have to say that I’ve been to Turkmenistan — I once spent $200 sending 3 short emails from a hotel in Ashgabat.  And the sad thing is, what Turkmenistan needs, more than anything, is what Ricochet has: smart, conservative, free market conversation.  Monaco doesn’t need us — in fact, they need us to fail: if Ricochet is successful and tax rates plummet, Monaco won’t even need to exist. 

    North Korea is on its own.  But it might be nice to have at least one person there, if only listening to the podcast. · Dec 5 at 5:40pm

    $200 for 3 short emails?  Boy, Rob, they saw a sucker coming.  By my calculations, you should have been able to get 4, um, female companions, 2 silky goats and a dozen magnums of Turkmen champagne as change.

    Plus tip.

  7. Rob Long
    C

    Have you been to Turkmenistan?  Try detecting the difference between the “female companions” and the “silky goats.”

    It was a long time ago, of course, and internet fees might have gone down, but it was a pretty closed society.  I had to pay the hotel manager to use the computer at his desk.  And he read every email over my shoulder.

  8. Kenneth
    Rob Long: Have you been to Turkmenistan?  Try detecting the difference between the “female companions” and the “silky goats.”

    It was a long time ago, of course, and internet fees might have gone down, but it was a pretty closed society.  I had to pay the hotel manager to use the computer at his desk.  And he read every email over my shoulder. · Dec 5 at 5:49pm

    The silky goats don’t have to wear the hijab. 

    And they shave their legs.

  9. Tripedis Canis

    If it helps, I am one-third Svalbardian.

  10. The Logo
    Rob Long: Have you been to Turkmenistan?  Try detecting the difference between the “female companions” and the “silky goats.”

    It was a long time ago, of course, and internet fees might have gone down, but it was a pretty closed society.  I had to pay the hotel manager to use the computer at his desk.  And he read every email over my shoulder. · Dec 5 at 5:49pm

    Rob, were you writing in Turkmen, or did the proprietor understand English? If it’s the latter, we can cross that bit of localization off our list.

    P.S. The Logo is listening to an Antarctic radio station — “A” Net Station — at this very moment, such is our dedication. I kid you not.  

  11. Rob Long
    C

    I was writing in English, which he pretended to understand.  I think he was more concerned that I was using his computer, and he was nervous about what was originating from it.  I mean, had I typed “Turkmenbashi [the then-living dictator of Turkmenistan] is a hideous old gas bag” I’m not sure he would have understood it exactly, but he wouldn’t have wanted it coming from his ISP.

  12. Aaron Miller
    The Logo: Oceania: Papua New Guinea

    When my dad’s oil company opened a rig there, a local medicine man came on board to bless it.

    He brought a chicken. The medicine man told them that he would cut off its head and the chicken’s posthumous antics would tell them if the well would be successful or not. If the headless chicken remained on the rig, that was good luck. If it ran off the rig and into the water, that was bad luck.

    The chicken ran straight into the well. And, yes, it turned out a lot of oil.

  13. Misthiocracy
    Tripedis Canis: If it helps, I am one-third Svalbardian. · Dec 6 at 6:05am

    Quick!  Put him through a full-body scanner!  He’s hiding something!  Some salted fish, perhaps?

  14. Duane Oyen

    1) Lasty time I was in Monaco, no one was paying any attention whatever to the internet.  Unless they had it running in the Lamborghinis.

    2) For first-hand commentary regarding Antarctica- and advice on how to attract readers today, I again recommend Barbara Oakley, who met her husband there when they were both in the Army- after she had served as translator on a Russian ice-breaking trawler.  It was she whom recommended to do guest posts on the DSM.

  15. flownover

    Only on Ricochet, Borat meets Paul Theroux.

    How many richochetti in the Mo-Kan ?

  16. Midget Faded Rattlesnake

    If you’re suggesting that I go to Antarctica to comment, forget it.  Let Lileks do it. 

    Antarctica and Minnesota are pretty much the same thing and maybe the penguins will think his tired schtick is still amusing.

    Kenneth, there are a lot of lonely penguins down there. Is it fair to deprive them of your effervescent company?

    I mean really lonely:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S9dAvmaQ5M
  17. Wylee Coyote

    To get Turkmenistan, we’ll need to recruit John Derbyshire.  He no doubt attracts a sizeable Turkmen audience to his podcast, where he periodically reports the goings and doings of President Gurbanguly Berdimohammedov.

  18. Dave Carter
    C

    I’ll have Antarctica covered in no time. All I have to do is tell my dispatcher that I would to spend a little time in the south during winter. They can be sadistic like that. As a joke, I once asked to go to the Caribbean. They gave me a load to Jamaica, Queens. A real hoot, that little adventure…

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