My mother-in-law, the warrior

She came. She flew in her favorite granddaughter to stay with us for a week without asking first.  She provided 1000 cuts and disses, but also tried to compensate by overly-complimenting the cranberry sauce. 

She fought the war and won.  Now I am exhausted.  Anyone out there relate?

  1. Lance

    This week’s update to my family website http://www.maryjanehedges.com features a tribute to Thanksgiving with Grammy and Papa.  And believe you me, while Papa is very much loved and appreciated by my little girls, it’s all about Grammy being in town.  To you point, Grammy is my mother-in-law, and is an honest to God, former nun.   But now she is all Grammy, all the time…

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  2. Becky53

    It sounds like you won the Grammy lottery! 

    Lance: This week’s update to my family website http://www.maryjanehedges.com features a tribute to Thanksgiving with Grammy and Papa.  And believe you me, while Papa is very much loved and appreciated by my little girls, it’s all about Grammy being in town.  To you point, Grammy is my mother-in-law, and is an honest to God, former nun.   But now she is all Grammy, all the time… · 0 minutes ago

  3. Tom Lindholtz

    Some sympathy from Ernie K-Doe

    The worst person I know

    (Mother-in law, mother-in law)

    she worries me, so

    If she’d leave us alone

    we would have a happy home

    Sent from down below

    Mother in Law Mother in Law

    Satan should be her name

    To me they’re bout the same

    Every time I open my mouth

    She steps in, tries to put me out

    How could she stoop so low

    Mother in Law Mother in Law

    I come home with my pay

    She asks me what I made

    She thinks her advice is the constitution

    But if she would leave that would be the solution

    And don’t come back no more

    Mother in Law Mother in Law

  4. Barkha Herman

    My mom asked me when I was young what kind of person I wanted to marry.  My response was always – an orphan.  My mother-in-law passed away before I met my husband.  However, she had a younger sister who had no children.  For a few years, we would have thanksgiving with her, at her house.  It was nightmarish.

    So, I put my foot down, and stopped visiting her. 

    I sympathize with your situation.  Glad I don’t have to deal with it.  

  5. Becky53
    Barkha Herman: My mom asked me when I was young what kind of person I wanted to marry.  My response was always – an orphan.  My mother-in-law passed away before I met my husband.  However, she had a younger sister who had no children.  For a few years, we would have thanksgiving with her, at her house.  It was nightmarish.

    So, I put my foot down, and stopped visiting her. 

    I sympathize with your situation.  Glad I don’t have to deal with it.   · 1 minute ago

    Thanks, Barkha!  It’s the enigma that keeps on giving — distance is golden…

  6. Becky53
    Tom — who is Ernie K Doe?  Funny and true that.

    She thinks her advice is the constitution

    But if she would leave that would be the solution

    And don’t come back no more

    Mother in Law Mother in Law · 49 minutes ago

    Edited 28 minutes ago

  7. PsychLynne

    This was my first Thanksgiving with no mom or in-laws….ever.  Instead of respite, I feel the temptation to be less tolerant at Christmas.  

  8. John Murdoch

    My mother-in-law has just turned 91, lives alone in the countryside in south Georgia, and allows as how she might decide it would be time to slow down a bit and move to town in ten or fifteen years. She has, it is true, trimmed back her garden some, so she now only farms about a half-acre of vegetables. In the 35 years I’ve known her I don’t believe she’s ever purchased vegetables from the supermarket. She stays current with her twelve-gauge, and asks visiting sons or sons-in-law to make sure it’s clean.

    She’s never stern–would never dream of giving offense–and inspires incredible devotion from her children and their families. On their own, her grandchildren organized their respective families so that they all visit her for Christmas in even-numbered years, and visit the spouse’s family in odd-numbered years.

    She has not always commanded my admiration–when I was courting my wife, she actively campaigned for alternatives. (I was a Yankee.) But time and three grandchildren have earned her respect–so she greets me with open arms. 

    My mother? Uh, that’s another story….

  9. Charleen Larson

    She’s 86 (or 87) and she’s a tough old bird who once flew from Singapore to Sacramento with a tibial plateau fracture and a big bottle of Vicodin.

    She lives in my sister-in-law’s pasture.  Okay, in a house in my sister-in-law’s pasture.

    She once worked for the FAA.  I am not allowed to diss any government agency in her presence.

    She lives thriftily while collecting a fortune from pensions.  She gives most of it away to family members, as much as the tax code allows.

    She hasn’t been in my house in years, which is fine with me, because she tends to take over and make suggestions that are actually orders. 

    She is my mother-in-law. 

  10. Mollie Hemingway
    C

    This post is making me appreciative of my mother-in-law. I know that I’m a disappointment for her in at least the religion department (she’s LDS, we’re Lutheran), but she treats me with love and is very supportive and respectful of me as a mother and wife. And my mother prefers my husband to me, no doubt about it.

    I think my husband and I have benefited by having parents who had bad in-law relations with the previous generation. They know how much it hurts and they endeavor to do the opposite with us.

  11. R. Craigen

    Perhaps my father-in-law would compare in most respects.  Good at the subtle criticism.   He passed away at the end of the summer.   I miss him sorely.

  12. katievs

    My plan is to be a good mother-in-law.  Involved, but not too involved. Full of sympathy and help, rather than judgment and demands.  

    Having good sons-in-law makes it easier.  I hope my boys, too, marry wisely and well.  If they marry.  (I can’t help hoping one at least one will be a priest.)

    The key, for the husband, is to break with his mother and “cleave to his wife”.   She’s the new feminine center.  

    It’s hard sometimes.  Hard for the old mother.  Hard for the new wife.  

  13. Stu In Tokyo

    I won’t share my mother in law stories, they would violate the CoC here, if I were to use a word it would be one not used in polite company, unless we were at a kennel.

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