If the Obama Administration Ran Your Local Police Department

Transcript from dispatch center:

911 Operator: 9-1-1, what is your emergency?

Caller: I’m calling from 1324 Elm Street. I’m upstairs hiding in a closet, and some men with guns just broke in downstairs and they’re robbing my family.

Operator: Hmmm. 1324 Elm Street. I don’t think we have anyone in that area.

Caller: What?

Operator: Well, that’s pretty far from the police station. I don’t think we can have anyone get there in time.

Caller: But they’re downstairs right now! I can hear them! They’re threatening to kill my family!

Operator: And besides, we can’t send officers into harm’s way without knowing what’s going on.

Caller: But I just told you what’s going on! There are men downstairs with guns robbing us and threatening to kill my family!

Operator: Are you sure you didn’t do anything to bring this on? Have you angered these men in some way? Does your family have a history of disrespecting their faith traditions, perhaps?

Gunshots and screaming are heard in the background.

Caller: They’re shooting them now! They’re killing them! Are you sending anyone?

More gunshots and screaming, then silence.

Caller: Hello? Are you there?

Operator: Yes, I’m here.

Caller: I just heard the men leave. I think my whole family is dead. Is anyone coming?

Operator: What difference, at this point, does it make?

Caller: What?

Operator: We’ll send someone out in a couple weeks to investigate.

 A click is heard as the line goes dead.

  1. Quinn the Eskimo

    Yeah, that’s about right.

  2. Hartmann von Aue

    Somebody shoot the ad for television. Yesterday.

  3. Pseudodionysius

    I blame YouTube.

  4. Blue State Hostage

    And then the police would hold a press conference claiming that the intruders were enraged by a YouTube video.

  5. The Mugwump

    I’m starting to question the narrative that the order to stand down was based on indifference to the fate of the men under fire.  Roger Simon at PJM says that new witnesses are about to come forward.  The House committee investigating this matter has just begun to peal the onion.  I’m going to break the CoC by suggesting that someone got deliberately double-crossed in Benghazi.  Given the people involved my suspicion is not beyond the realm of possibility. 

  6. skipsul

    You forgot the part where, as the police chief is up for re-election, he is going around citing how much crime has gone down on his watch, and how safe places like Elm street are.  This horrible “incident” was clearly a spontaneous accident of multiple people unsafely cleaning loaded firearms while watching Bill O’Reilly.  Spontaneous TV rage.

  7. Richard Fulmer

    NY Times Headline: NRA to Exploit Deaths for Political Gain

  8. Robert Dammers

    You can transform this dialogue – just imply that you have the intruder in your sights, and are about to open fire.  Behold, instant police involvement.  At least, that’s the way it works in England.

  9. neutral observer

    Brilliant!!!

  10. Percival

    Police and fire department maintain a certain level of professionality that the Obama administration lacks.  Apparently, to “be in charge” for these people is to have no knowledge or involvment with anything being done by their department.

  11. lostingotham

    Operator:  But I’m sure you’ll be glad to know that we’ll be keeping the Chief of Police up-to-date throughout the evening.

  12. zepplinmike

    You could also go with the IRS scandal angle, that 911 would hang up on conservative groups in harm’s way and police wouldn’t come. Oh wait, that’s actually happened before: http://dailycaller.com/2011/11/07/koch-group-staffers-event-attendees-911-hung-up-on-us-four-times-during-occupy-dc-mob/

  13. Hydrogia

    This is not as farfetched a scenario as one may wish. The Police and  courts in the US are already infiltrated and indoctrinated in progressive doctrine to a startling degree. This translates to corruption, patronage, abuse of power and the subversion of law enforcement to a revenue generator and the advancement of so called social justice. The American Sheeple have rolled over and abandoned to a decisive extent the principles of our founding and the affluent and special government apparatchiks are increasingly  free to wreak havoc at will without concern. This is the tip of the iceberg, hardly news to anyone informed about the ideology of our  illegitimate traitor  president, Barry Sotero who was recruited and nurtured by the likes of  Frank Marshall Davis and Bill Ayers and brought to power by media manipulation.

  14. Andrew

    The police would have come but you didn’t want to pay higher taxes and they are short one squad car. So, it’s your fault. If you want to complain, the Chief will be back from Hawaii in two weeks. All of the crime and fiscal problems have really worn him out.

  15. Pseudodionysius

    The Operator should also ask:

    “How many trimesters are you along in your journey as a citizen of the United States?”

  16. Richard Fulmer
    lostingotham: Operator:  But I’m sure you’ll be glad to know that we’ll be keeping the Chief of Police up-to-date throughout the evening.

    At least until he leaves in the morning for his monthly gambling vacation in Las Vegas.

  17. Andrew

    Remember that commercial in 2008 about the phone ringing at 3am and who should be the one to answer it? I think a great RNC ad now would show the answering machine pick up and deliver a recording of one of Obama’s lame excuses for not being available.

  18. ctlaw

    But in the real world, we have:

    Caller: Two minutes ago there was a police car with two officers across the street.

    Operator: Oh, they’re still there.

    Caller: Please tell them to hurry.

    Operator: That unit has not been certified for hostage rescue.

    Caller: But they’re carrying M4 assault rifles, the real kind, not like my semi-auto you confiscated last year.

    Operator: They’re only allowed to use those guns for self defense or against unarmed persons. By the way thank you for the gun, my brother loves it.

  19. doc molloy

    911.. all over again.. and again.. and again..

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