Godzilla Has a New Rival

Beware the terrible Obamadon:

Yale scientists… recently named an extinct, tiny, bug-eating reptile after the commander in chief.

The Obamadon gracilis lived millions of years ago and was among lizards wiped out by an asteroid collision widely thought to have killed the dinosaurs, a Yale University press release states.

In reassessing previously collected fossils, they came across an unnamed species and called it Obamadon gracilis. In Latin, odon means “tooth” and gracilis means “slender.”

It is a small polyglyphanodontian distinguished by tall, slender teeth. … (Researchers) said the creature likely measured less than one foot long and probably ate insects.

I assure you, this is not from The Onion, and is all too real.

Somebody needs to start right away on a major motion picture starring the fearsome Obamadon. This monster would live on the blood of taxpayers, spew socialist fire from his upturned nostrils, and breathe deep the fumes of dying liberty.

  1. Western Chauvinist

    Clearly Yale scientists are racists.

  2. Austin Murrey

    The cult of personality thing just keeps getting more creepy, which is remarkable because it’s already drawing a 9  on the creep-o-meter.

  3. J Wesley

    These scientists have no idea what they’re talking about. An asteroid didn’t kill off the dinosaurs. Aliens did…

    According to the History Channel.

  4. Barkha Herman

    3682959-a-slender-lizard-warms-up-in-the-early-morning-sun-angkor-wat-cambodia.jpg

    Beware the slender lizard!

  5. Aaron Miller

    Great. Let’s give him back to Japan (or Indonesia, as the case may be).

  6. Garrett Petersen
    Austin Murrey: The cult of personality thing just keeps getting more creepy, which is remarkable because it’s already drawing a 9  on the creep-o-meter.

    My greatest worry about Obama is that he’ll be remembered as a great President.  If that happens, all hope is lost.  Hopefully future people will look on the Obama fad the way we look at parachute pants.

  7. Foxfier

    Is anyone else picturing the little walking-pack-of-piranhas type dinosaur from Jurassic Park?

  8. Peter Robinson
    C

    Nathan, this post is a thing of beauty.  

  9. Schrodinger

    How sharper than a child’s tooth to have a thankless serpent!

  10. Pseudodionysius

     This monster would live on the blood of taxpayers, spew socialist fire from his upturned nostrils, and breathe deep the fumes of dying liberty.

    Nigel Farage: EUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

  11. Vance Richards

    I like the extinct part.

  12. Ryan M

    The Obama phenomenon will haunt us until the day we die.  Our kids will come home from college having read the latest book about Obama saving the universe and we will be ripping our hair out “he was a terrible president, and an even worse person!” 

    “Why, then, Dad, did they rename my school after him?”

    Sigh

  13. Ryan M
    Garrett Petersen

    Austin Murrey: The cult of personality thing just keeps getting more creepy, which is remarkable because it’s already drawing a 9  on the creep-o-meter.

    My greatest worry about Obama is that he’ll be remembered as a great President.  If that happens, all hope is lost.  Hopefully future people will look on the Obama fad the way we look at parachute pants. · 33 minutes ago

    Not going to happen.  He is the new Kennedy, only much, much worse. 

  14. with me where I am

    I don’t think the scientists realize the appropriateness of naming an extinct dinosaur after the latest iteration of Nimrod.

  15. wilber forge
    Foxfier: Is anyone else picturing the little walking-pack-of-piranhas type dinosaur from Jurassic Park? · 7 hours ago

    Kinda liked those critters, then again I was the kid that wanted the Flying Monkeys from the Wizard of Oz.

    Perhaps Frankenfish may be a better term. A true man made mutation created as a weapon. Odd movie.

  16. with me where I am
    Nathan Harden: More importantly, can anyone pronounce “polyglyphanodontian”? · 10 hours ago

    I never studied a classical language, but I’m guessing the stress is on the 2nd to last syllable. Any takers?

  17. Foxfier
    Nathan Harden: More importantly, can anyone pronounce “polyglyphanodontian”? · 11 hours ago

    Yes.

    Can anyone pronounce it correctly?

    Not a clue, thought with me where I am seems to have one to offer.

    Hey, reading kid’s books is very handy– especially Doctor Seuss,  since made-up words teach you to take ‘em apart, and I’m familiar with all the modifiers in it, just don’t expect anything more dignified than “Zizzer Zazzer Zu.”

  18. Nathan Harden
    C

    More importantly, can anyone pronounce “polyglyphanodontian”?

  19. wilber forge

    Yes, actually. Such is the way of we old grey folk that studied these things.

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