Chinese Dad Hires an Assasin

….to kill his son’s on-line character.  Apparently, that was the only way to get the kid to join the real world.  From The Next Web:

What would you do if your adult son was playing video games all day instead of looking for work? Well, one Chinese father resorted to desperate measures when he reportedly hired in-game hitmen to attack his son whenever he logged on to his favorite game, according to the People’s Daily.

After being killed repeatedly in an online game, 23-year-old Xiao Feng figured out that the high-level griefers had been put up to the task by his dad, who says he hoped the trick would cause his son to lose interest in the game. Xiao Feng maintains that he’s not going to settle for just any job and that he hasn’t found the right fit yet.

Two immediate responses:  1) It’s rather brilliant of the father, and suggests that the time has arrived when both parent and child are on-line game enthusiasts.  And 2) It’s enormously comforting to hear that in China, young people are just as feckless and entitled as they are here.  He hasn’t “found the right fit yet?”  Doesn’t sound very Confucian to me.  Sounds, in fact, like the Chinese-American trade balance is tipping in our favor:  they send us iPhones, we send them the feel-good vocabulary of indolence.

We might win this trade war after all.  

  1. NancyB

    Under China’s one child policy the one child tends to be a little spoiled, perhaps?

  2. Stephen Hall
    NancyB: Under China’s one child policy the one child tends to be a little spoiled, perhaps? · 4 minutes ago

    Many of the one-child progeny are called “little emperors” because they are so spoiled. Not to be confused with the “princelings”, who are the super-rich offspring of Mao Zedong’s political cronies.

  3. Skyler

    The son should get a job as an on line hit man.

  4. Keith Preston

    Glad to hear dad found the kill switch.  

    As Joe Biden would say, “literally.”

  5. Dave Carter
    C

    So if we give President Obama a virtual country to destroy, might he leave our real one alone? I know, I know, …but a guy can dream, can’t he?

  6. EJHill

    23? No online hit man for me. One day the kid wakes up and all of his stuff is in selfstorage. Then he gets handed an envelope with $100 and a key to an apartment with one month’s rent prepaid.

    “Son, you have four weeks to get your act together.”

  7. Matthew Gilley

    This really sounds like one of your great Kim Jong Un parodies.

  8. Jimmy Carter
    Skyler: The son should get a job as an on line hit man. · 48 minutes ago

    This is a magnificent, clever comment.

    Well played.

  9. Felicitas

    There’s always Homer Simpson’s promise to his kids:

    “18 and you’re out the door!”

  10. DocJay

    “Are you an assassin?”, “I’m a soldier”.   “You’re neither.   You’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill”.    

  11. EJHill

    And there’s this…

    Online.jpg

  12. Nanda Panjandrum

    We may just win in the end as you say, Rob…

  13. I. raptus

    If you’re not familiar with online games, this is even more clever than it sounds.  It isn’t just having someone kill him in-game (which rarely is much more than an inconvenience), but they’re actively “griefing” him whenever he plays, which makes the entire experience totally unpleasant.  Good discouragement, and the son will hopefully learn a lesson when/if he realizes that his father was responsible.  Also … it’s hilarious.

  14. Brian Clendinen

    Yay but the Father was lucky that his son was playing a game were greifers could get away with it long term and it was PvP. Some games you can’t get away with that. However it is a brilliant idea short of kicking him out of the house.

  15. Capt. Aubrey

    I hate to be a grumpy old man but…well actually I like it and this is one of the few places I still can be so… I get t he creativity and all but when my boys play too much Xbox or wii they have to stop. Period. One reason they have to live with discipline is so this sort of thing doesn’t happen when they get older. If they whine and cry about int they get punished for that but they don’t probably because they know it doesn’t work. Just so you know I’m not a Luddite. I agree with Geo. Gilder in life after television and I’m sure kids gain some benefits from playing but they can also be a gigantic waste of time. I am happy the Cinese are also having the problem. We should make them all do judo like the Japanese…:)

  16. Peter Gøthgen
    Xiao Feng maintains that he’s not going to settle for just any job and that he hasn’t found the right fit yet.

    This, to me, is the most insanely aggravating part.  It reminds me of an incident a while back in which Hannity debated an occupier who claimed that there was no work anywhere.  The next day, Hannity’s staff called the guy to offer him a job, which he rejected because he wanted more money.

    I’m sorry, buttercup, does this section of Ponyland have the wrong flavor of free ice cream?

    Try this on for size: take the job you can get until you find the job you want.  It’s called being an adult, you whiny little glob of self-entitled flotsam.  You do not deserve to be celebrated because you have a pulse.  If you want to be successful you need to make yourself valuable to others – not a drain on their resources.

  17. TheRoyalFamily
    EJHill: 23? No online hit man for me. One day the kid wakes up and all of his stuff is in selfstorage. Then he gets handed an envelope with $100 and a key to an apartment with one month’s rent prepaid.

    “Son, you have four weeks to get your act together.”

    When your one kid is both your retirement plan and your future caregiver, this might not be the best idea. It might work, but it might blow up in your [old] face.

  18. outstripp

    Proper gun control will put an end to stories like this.

  19. Stephen Hall

    Maybe the ‘kid’ should help establish an Occupy Tiananmen Square movement. Oh, wait ….

  20. Brady Kiel

    It’s a good thing the son is 23. If some clever parent of a middle schooler tried that here the administration would summon police for a misplaced cyber bullying charge…and win. Thanks for pointing this out Rob.