After the McRib

Listeners to the “Law Talk” podcast will know by now of Troy Senik’s heretical thoughtcrime concerning the McRib. But even worse is the item’s disappearance from McDonald’s menus across the country — like the steady dimming of the lights of civilization across Europe as Rome fell.

After turning away in disgust from a McDonald’s in Los Angeles last week, hands empty of gooey pork goodness mixed with raw onion and pickle, I went on a quest for a fast food substitute. What should tide over the loyal McRibber until its next sighting? I tried a Carl’s Jr. Jalapeno Burger and even a McDonald’s CBO, but was left wanting more. And it wasn’t even Chinese food.

Ricochetti, please help by nominating the go-to fast food meal until the return of the McRib.

  1. Troy Senik, Ed.

    First of all, let me say that the level to which John will stoop to try to get an endorsement deal is truly breathtaking.

    Second, John, there are Five Guys locations in Northern California. Look into it. This is a place where the fries are so bad for you that a nutritional study couldn’t even ascertain how they managed to pack so much artery-bursting goodness into them.

    Some may call that obscene. I call it American exceptionalism.

  2. Misthiocracy

    Do Subway or Quiznos have a pulled pork sandwich where you are?

  3. Bryan G. Stephens

    My favorite is a Southern thing: The Krystal!

    I know that White Castle is there. Yes. I have had it. I prefer the Krystal.

  4. Shane McGuire

    Whataburger!

    Or, in the alternative, I’m a fan of going to Wendy’s for the following order:

    Junior bacon cheeseburger

    Medium fries

    Small Frosty—5.06 after tax. (used to be $3 when i was in college)

  5. Goldgeller

     I just had my first Whataburger (TX ftw!) and wow, it’s so great! Get a double-meat Whataburger with cheese and you’re good to go!

  6. Misthiocracy

    Can you get shawarma in Los Angeles?

    Good shawarma is heavenly.

  7. Ross C

    I am not an In and Out Burger fan (nor a hater for that matter).  Interesting that you do not mention them.  Beneath your notice?

    I recollect no Whataburgers in CA, your loss.

  8. tabula rasa

    In-N-Out Burger:  The Double Single (double meat, one slice of cheese*) with onions sauteed, fries, and a Diet Coke (extra ice).

    * I get only one slice of cheese because I’m on a diet.

  9. Ryan M

    Don’t you have in and out over in California?  Their burgers are pretty good, as far as I can remember.

    I’ve always been partial to the Big Mac.

  10. Illiniguy

    Stick with the classics: the Cheddar ButterBurger (Double) at Culver’s

  11. Spin

    That crap is gonna kill you. 

    How about you just make one of these at home:

    http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/robert-irvine/bbq-pork-burger-recipe/index.html

  12. Whiskey Sam

    My Saturday Night Special: Taco Bell – 7 softshell tacos, no lettuce, and the largest Mt Dew they can legally sell you

    Honorable mention:

    Monday Night Madness (Football season only) – Five Guys – two double patty burgers with A1, two hot dogs, two Cokes

    In Europe: Donerix – doner kebab (spiced veal) with fries and a Coke

    In Canada: Baba’s – perogies with sausage

  13. UreyP3

    Conventional guilty pleasure fast food – Burger King’s original Double Whopper.

    Not so conventional but still fast and carrying its own guilt load – Quiznos’ Prime Rib sub.

  14. Misthiocracy

    In Saskatchewan there is Burger Baron, where you can get a  burger with a patty that is made from chopped bacon.

  15. Troy Senik, Ed.
    Misthiocracy: In Saskatchewan there is Burger Baron, where you can get a  burger with a patty that is made from chopped bacon. · 2 minutes ago

    Calling the folks at U-Haul right now.

  16. Sheila

    Since you’re in the East Bay, my fav used to be Caspar’s Hot Dogs in the Richmond/El Cerrito area.  Are they still there? 

  17. Jason Cahill

    You tried to make a McRib appointment, while the McRib was not in session?  My sympathies wither …

    Double-double animal style,  chocolate/vanilla swirled shake.

  18. BJRR
    Whiskey Sam: My Saturday Night Special:Taco Bell – 7 softshell tacos, no lettuce, and the largest Mt Dew they can legally sell you

    Honorable mention:

    Monday Night Madness (Football season only) -Five Guys- two double patty burgers with A1, two hot dogs, two Cokes

    In Europe:Donerix- doner kebab (spiced veal) with fries and a Coke

    In Canada: Baba’s- perogies with sausage · 7 minutes ago

    I don’t know what is in doner meat, but I’m pretty sure it’s not actually veal…

  19. Foxman
    Misthiocracy: Can you get shawarma in Los Angeles?

    Good shawarma is heavenly. · 40 minutes ago

    We have lots of shawarma here in Dearborn, but fast food?

  20. Misthiocracy
    Troy Senik, Ed.

    Misthiocracy: In Saskatchewan there is Burger Baron, where you can get a  burger with a patty that is made from chopped bacon.

    Calling the folks at U-Haul right now.

    Great, now I’m really craving some Burger Baron, and the closest one is 2,613 kms away.