If you're reading this I probably wrote something stupid and/or aggressive, sorry. I'm guilty of pride. Fortunately I'm also a fan of sloth, so I'm usually too lazy to be mean.
The photo is Big Torti, a 15 year old African Sulcata; Little Torti, his cousin (not pictured) is 7 - Scamp (i.e. baby torti) is currently missing. Chicks dig the hard shell, strength and stamina.