This Thanksgiving, Choose Gratitude over Grievance

 

Political commentators spend most of their days following the awful things happening in the world. Bad news, after all, is what dominates the news cycle.

War, death, poverty, and injustice (and the occasional cat video) fill our laptop screens from the moment we wake until we go to bed. By the fourth day of the workweek, it’s easy to cycle between outrage and despair.

People on all sides succumb to this emotional low road, which is why there’s so much anger about failed politicians, terrible policies and broken promises. Our grandparents would yell at the newspaper, our parents at the TV, but now everyone can hear our complaints. Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube spread everyone’s misery worldwide.

In recent years, protesters have shut down freeways and rampaged through neighborhoods while students at even the most exclusive universities screech about the raw deal they got in life.

Through the miracle of technology, the less motivated can protest from their sofas. They can “cancel” a rich celebrity for a clumsy statement, boycott a company for a lousy policy and bully random citizens caught behaving badly in a viral video. It feels good to blame others for the mess we’re in — and a lot easier than contemplating our own shortcomings.

Modern America has replaced virtue with victimhood, and the nation is poorer for it. Granted, the United States remains one of the wealthiest nations in the history of mankind, but we’ve trained ourselves not to recognize this obvious fact. Even to mention the manifold (and nearly miraculous) blessings of American life is a form of hate speech to some.

In a far meaner age, Cicero said that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” An attitude of thankfulness is a choice free to everyone — even those plagued with peace, relative prosperity, and the latest iPhone. It’s easier in the short term to whine but it makes for a downright miserable life — not only for ourselves, but also for the dwindling number of people who surround us.

This Thanksgiving, and in the days to follow, choose gratitude. Be thankful for the nation, for your life, for those whom you love and those who love you, flaws and all. Like a muscle, you can strengthen this virtue with regular exercise.

Instead of complaining about that dumb politician you hate, think about the one you like and send them a note of encouragement. An unexpected “thank you” to a co-worker, teacher, or customer service rep could shock those used to endless complaints, but will make their day.

Another old Roman, Seneca, wrote that we even should be thankful for the most “fleeting and slippery possession” of all — the time we have left on Earth.

“Such is the great foolishness of mortals, that they allow the least important, cheapest, and easily replaceable objects to be charged to their accounts after they have received them,” he said. “But they never consider themselves to be in debt when they have received time; and yet this is the one thing that even a grateful recipient can never repay.”

None of us know if we have a day left or decades, but we should choose to spend each minute in gratitude. On this uniquely American holiday, choose to be thankful — genuinely thankful — for all you’ve been given. But more importantly, choose to be thankful on Friday as well. And on Saturday and on Sunday.

Every day should be Thanksgiving. It only takes the choice to make it so.

Originally published in the Arizona Republic, Nov. 23, 2019.

Published in Culture
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  1. EJHill Podcaster
    EJHill
    @EJHill

    And a life lesson here? Don’t mess with Grandpa ‘cause he’s got a big fork and a very sharp knife.

    • #1
  2. Mike Rapkoch Member
    Mike Rapkoch
    @MikeRapkoch

    EJHill (View Comment):

    And a life lesson here? Don’t mess with Grandpa ‘cause he’s got a big fork and a very sharp knife.

    And tomorrow this Grampa will have all the power. Mooohahahaha!!!

    Thank you Jon. (and EJ, I guess(-:)

    • #2
  3. Zed11 Inactive
    Zed11
    @Zed11

    Knowing our shared experience with family-dementia, it really made people smile when, on Mother’s Day, I’d quip to assisted-living staff, “Every day is Mother’s Day.”

    On Modern America replacing virtue with victimhood (yes!), am reminded of ~15 years ago, when I was responsible for ~15-20,000 words/month, editing, managing freelancers, etc. (you know the drill) for a music magazine in San Jose, and someone would ask, “Why don’t you have a Facebook page?” Besides the appropriate privacy concerns (local-SValley tech friends all concurred), I never felt the need to enter into a narcissistic self-publishing/self-absorption mode. Was doing just fine. Add my mistrust of the people behind the technology (think big tobacco denying cancer causation), no thanks. Point: social media has enabled some good things, yes, but its concurrent addiction economy—fear we are only beginning to see the effects of the victimhood and entitlement generations to come.

    Right now am thankful for madman Steeze going to that Wonder Woman screening, because if that hadn’t happened I wouldn’t have found you and The Conservatarians. [insert “Shut up and take my money!” gif] 

    Cheers, Chief.

    • #3
  4. James Lileks Contributor
    James Lileks
    @jameslileks

    In a far meaner age, Cicero said that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”

    I wonder if Cicero wasn’t also imbued with gratitude for the system that allowed him to flourish. Nothing wrong there, necessarily, and perhaps a lesson for us to be grateful not just for our abundance and opportunities,  but the entirely novel series of ideas that allowed them to exist.

    On a slightly related note, I’m rewatching HBO’s “Rome,” which has a portrayal of Cicero I never quite liked, probably because it’s accurate.  

    • #4
  5. MACHO GRANDE' (aka - Chris Cam… Coolidge
    MACHO GRANDE' (aka - Chris Cam…
    @ChrisCampion

    Zed11 (View Comment):

    Knowing our shared experience with family-dementia, it really made people smile when, on Mother’s Day, I’d quip to assisted-living staff, “Every day is Mother’s Day.”

    On Modern America replacing virtue with victimhood (yes!), am reminded of ~15 years ago, when I was responsible for ~15-20,000 words/month, editing, managing freelancers, etc. (you know the drill) for a music magazine in San Jose, and someone would ask, “Why don’t you have a Facebook page?” Besides the appropriate privacy concerns (local-SValley tech friends all concurred), I never felt the need to enter into a narcissistic self-publishing/self-absorption mode. Was doing just fine. Add my mistrust of the people behind the technology (think big tobacco denying cancer causation), no thanks. Point: social media has enabled some good things, yes, but its concurrent addiction economy—fear we are only beginning to see the effects of the victimhood and entitlement generations to come.

    Right now am thankful for madman Steeze going to that Wonder Woman screening, because if that hadn’t happened I wouldn’t have found you and The Conservatarians. [insert “Shut up and take my money!” gif]

    Cheers, Chief.

    Steeze just went for all the hot chick action.

    • #5
  6. MACHO GRANDE' (aka - Chris Cam… Coolidge
    MACHO GRANDE' (aka - Chris Cam…
    @ChrisCampion

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.:

    Every day should be Thanksgiving. It only takes the choice to make it so.

    Originally published in the Arizona Republic, Nov. 23, 2019.

     

    This really, really makes me want to post the fake Thanksgiving  movie trailer that Eli Roth put together for Tarantino’s Grindhouse flicks.

    But that would put a damper on Jon’s thoughtful thoughts about gratitude and stuff.  And I don’t like to ruin nice things.

    Unless I can get away with it.  By not being caught or blamed.

     

    • #6
  7. MarciN Member
    MarciN
    @MarciN

    I love every single word of this post. Thank you. And have a wonderful Thanksgiving. :-) 

    • #7
  8. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Thank you, Jon. We often forget about gratitude, but you can never have too much of it.

    • #8
  9. Jon Gabriel, Ed. Contributor
    Jon Gabriel, Ed.
    @jon

    Zed11 (View Comment):
    Knowing our shared experience with family-dementia, it really made people smile when, on Mother’s Day, I’d quip to assisted-living staff, “Every day is Mother’s Day.”

    This is awesome.

    • #9
  10. Jon Gabriel, Ed. Contributor
    Jon Gabriel, Ed.
    @jon

    James Lileks (View Comment):

    In a far meaner age, Cicero said that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”

    I wonder if Cicero wasn’t also imbued with gratitude for the system that allowed him to flourish. Nothing wrong there, necessarily, and perhaps a lesson for us to be grateful not just for our abundance and opportunities, but the entirely novel series of ideas that allowed them to exist.

    On a slightly related note, I’m rewatching HBO’s “Rome,” which has a portrayal of Cicero I never quite liked, probably because it’s accurate.

    I also quote Seneca, who abhorred materialism and worldly attachment … while writing from one of his lush estates as he advised Caligula. Also, I really need to see “Rome” — I’ve heard it’s wonderful.

     

    • #10
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