Lost Love

 

It was unrequited love that made me reconsider everything about myself leading me to a direct path from dedicated Leftist to arch-conservative.

But “lost love” is a bit of a misnomer in that I had to eat it all myself, annoying at first to be sure but it gave me the courage to finally look through the many convenient delusions I’d based by life on and open my mind to the seemingly infinite possibilities.

For a while I was literally dumbstruck, so astonished at the layers of possible meaning that I couldn’t form a response, only try to take it all it. After a while I was able to integrate my Talmudic studies for better discernment of the truth, and my Jungian studies giving me better insight into the mind’s use of metaphor.

One of my first clues that conservatives weren’t evil was when I spontaneously grasped an image of truly gracious conservatives (like Sandra Bullock’s family in The Blind Side). All of a sudden a lifetime of brainwashing started to fall away as the door opened to the possibility of the validity of the conservative position.

Shortly thereafter the worldwide web was becoming a household word and I joined a discussion platform sponsored by the Leftist Utne Reader. As I sought to get to know these reasonably informed and educated “liberals” I also raised questions about the consistency and integrity of our belief system. The response was entirely unexpected: almost 100% ostracization for simply asking for answers. Looking back it occurs to me that part of the zeitgeist of the Left includes a belief that “we know all the answers” meaning that even sincere questions are taken as acts of hostility.

This only served to make me even more critical and I held my ground there for many years often feeling like a Conan the Barbarian character fighting off hordes of foes. I’ve tried to take an anthropological/psychological perspective on the development of the Leftist psyche and I’m sure it comes as no surprise to many here that after the abandonment of religion, the need to belong can be so strong as to overcome rationality and even civility.

There are other elements involved as well, the very doctrine of the Left encourages and nourishes perpetual juvenilization with the ingroup always victims against the “unreasonable” demands and expectations of the outgroup – ostensibly the adults. There’s an attraction to control freaks, an automatic moral high-ground with the authority to tell others what they can say and how to think.

Thankfully my lost love helped me come to my senses and better see human beings for who they are rather than how they fit in my worldview.

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  1. Roberto, Crusty Old Timer Inactive
    Roberto, Crusty Old Timer
    @Roberto

    It’s always good to hear the perspective of those who traveled a journey to get here. That provides understanding and a better grasp at who we are dealing with. 

    • #1
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Yeah. If you can’t ask questions, you’re not in a normal group, it’s a cult.

    • #2
  3. Franco Member
    Franco
    @Franco

    I believe those who grew up as conservatives have a huge socio/political blind-spot. I have come to distrust them on political matters. The people who started out on the left and converted have a much deeper understanding. I think most of us started as default lefties. I know I did,  and then once you see it, you can’t un-see it.

    The deeper you once held lefty beliefs the better you understand them and the very real threat they pose to freedom. David Horowitz is a good example. Andrew Breitbart another. Someone who is an example of a life-long conservative is Mitt Romney, Bill Kristol, George Will, numerous Republican politicians, all who don’t adequately see the threat from the left.

    Of course there are exceptions, but I think it’s a good rule of thumb.

    • #3
  4. Keith Rice Inactive
    Keith Rice
    @KeithRice

    Franco (View Comment):

    I believe those who grew up as conservatives have a huge socio/political blind-spot. I have come to distrust them on political matters. The people who started out on the left and converted have a much deeper understanding. I think most of us started as default lefties. I know I did, and then once you see it, you can’t un-see it.

    The deeper you once held lefty beliefs the better you understand them and the very real threat they pose to freedom. David Horowitz is a good example. Andrew Breitbart another. Someone who is an example of a life-long conservative is Mitt Romney, Bill Kristol, George Will, numerous Republican politicians, all who don’t adequately see the threat from the left.

    Of course there are exceptions, but I think it’s a good rule of thumb.

    It’s long concerned me that the Left has become the moral arbiters as well as the recognized intellectual elite. Outlets like Commentary and National Review seem to be afraid of being criticized by Leftists or, horror of horrors, be deemed stupid. 

    Then there’s the social connections, the cocktail parties and retreats where it seems the conservatives are more sincere about the rhetoric and niceties of the “We can all get along” sort while the Leftists are just gathering info on the enemy.

    • #4
  5. Gumby Mark (R-Meth Lab of Demo… Coolidge
    Gumby Mark (R-Meth Lab of Demo…
    @GumbyMark

    Nice post. I can relate, having gone through similar experiences in the 1980s.

    • #5
  6. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Keith Rice: I’ve tried to take an anthropological/psychological perspective on the development of the Leftist psyche and I’m sure it comes as no surprise to many here that after the abandonment of religion, the need to belong can be so strong as to overcome rationality and even civility.

    On the other side of belonging, there is a terrible fear of being ostracized (as you experienced) from the group. Where would a person go? The fear of being outside, hated and rejected requires them to abandon their own autonomy and agency. Sad. Very good post, @keithrice.

    • #6
  7. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    I really think that you should read Witness by Whittaker Chambers. His brother killed himself but before he committed suicide, he said to Whittaker, “Life is a fools game. There is no winning in it. There is no solution.”

    Whittaker responded that, “The communists have a solution.”

    His brother said something along the lines of, “It’s all rubbish.”

    The book is amazing in that it depicts political impulses as emerging from the soul of man and his yearning for transcendence. 

    • #7
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