Soup for the Republican Soul

 

The last two months have been unkind to Democrats. Since being sworn in as the majority in the House of Representatives, the Party of Government seems hellbent on losing one news cycle after another. In the roughly eight-week period between Virginia governor Ralph Northam admitting to having performed in blackface to last Thursday when Jussie Smollett’s lawyer suggested that her client’s alleged Nigerian attackers may have been wearing whiteface, it’s tempting to think that God loves Republicans and wants them to be happy.

So overwhelmingly has the GOP dominated the news cycle that merely the last two weeks have provided ample Soup For The Republican Soul, from the self-immolation of Michael Avenatti to the Southern Poverty Law Center’s deeming itself a hate group. Let’s take a look at five more examples.

University Admissions Scandal

Ever since the university admissions scandal broke, I’ve had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I might not have been admitted to Long Beach City College on merit. How long before we learn that some Korean couple is charged with attempting to bribe Harvard officials to pretend that their daughter isn’t Asian?

Joe Biden – The Gift Who Keeps On Giving

Just when you think Republicans won’t have Joe Biden to kick around anymore, the avuncular political lifer announces that he’s considering a third failed run for the presidency. I’ll leave it to Uncle Joe to justify trading in his golden years with his grandchildren in exchange for having to ask Stacy Abrams if he can borrow her blackness for a sec. Increasingly the Democrats’ primary is shaping up to be a cover-your-eyes embarrassing intervention on behalf of Biden, Sanders, and something called Buttigieg: in the world of progressive politics, there is no statute of limitations for being a white male. 

Mueller Probe

If you thought that Trump receiving a clean bill of health from the Special Counsel meant that CNN would resume its 24/7 coverage of missing Malaysia Airlines flight 370, you’d be wrong.

As for the norm mongers like David Frum out there, can we at least take a moment to acknowledge Trump’s restoration of norms to the Department of Justice? Say what you want about Jeff Sessions, he never asked Team Mueller or anyone else to refer to the investigation of the Trump campaign as a “matter” as did Obama’s Attorney General Loretta Lynch with regard to Hillary Clinton’s handling of top-secret government emails.

And despite what you may have heard, the Mueller Report’s findings don’t represent the culmination of progressives’ two-year transformation from Bill Bixby into the Incredible Hulk. No, that will occur when the Inspector General launches an investigation of the FBI and the Department of Justice into FISA abuse.

Brexit

Brexit is only one of many iterations of people around the world revolting against their self-appointed betters in politics, media, and culture. As Great Britain’s seemingly futile attempt to reclaim the sovereignty it forfeited by joining the European Union continues to unfold, I’m reminded of the age-old wisdom a generation of young men received from their uncles: never get involved with a redheaded stripper named Tiffany. (You needn’t familiarize yourself with the EU’s encyclopedia-like regulations to realize where Brussels resides on the crazy-hot matrix.)

Jussie Smollett Saga

The social justice warriors’ narrative surrounding the Jussie Smollett saga is clearly incapable of keeping up with the emerging facts. This story has a little bit of everything for Deplorables, from wild-eyed anti-MAGA hatred to Democrat big city corruption. We’re now at the point where accusing the Empire actor of committing a hoax is precisely what a homophobic, racist country would do.

Personally, I was hoping that Smollett went on trial just so his lawyer could insist that her client couldn’t get a fair trial in MAGA country. One can only hope that the resultant tensions between the Chicago police department and Mayor Rahm Emanuel on one hand and the Cook County State’s Attorney Office on the other are merely a prelude to a brutal throat-punching Democratic primary.

At this juncture, the only thing that might cause Smollett’s supporters to enter the final stage of Trump Derangement Syndrome is if the president vowed to deport the Nigerian brothers for carrying out the attack.

By the way, isn’t it a little late in Rahm Emanuel’s term as mayor to be discovering the Chicago Way?

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  1. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    David Deeble: I’m reminded of the age-old wisdom a generation of young men received from their uncles: never get involved with a redheaded stripper named Tiffany.

    She didn’t have red hair!  Hey, how do you know my uncle?

    God may have made Republican politicians happy, but we Republican voters still wish He would add a spine, along with a double dose of testosterone (Just the men.  Republican female politicians are already tough enough).

    • #1
  2. Dr. Bastiat Member
    Dr. Bastiat
    @drbastiat

    David Deeble: it’s tempting to think that God loves Republicans and want them to be happy. 

    Wonderful.

    David Deeble: Just when you think Republicans won’t have Joe Biden to kick around anymore, the avuncular political lifer announces that he’s considering a third failed run for the presidency.

    Even more wonderful.

    David Deeble: there is no statute of limitations for being a white male

    Really wonderful.

    David Deeble: if the president vowed to deport the Nigerian brothers for carrying out the attack. 

    Absolutely, incredibly wonderful!

    What a wonderful post!

    • #2
  3. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    We keep going from one big headache to another – the next election especially. The last insert about The Chicago Way was interesting.  At least Trump has a track record for working, creating and signing paychecks.  Obama? If you read that story, community organizer wasn’t working well there. Did he or Michelle ever practice law, actually have real jobs?

    • #3
  4. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    Stad (View Comment):

    David Deeble: I’m reminded of the age-old wisdom a generation of young men received from their uncles: never get involved with a redheaded stripper named Tiffany.

    She didn’t have red hair! Hey, how do you know my uncle?

    God may have made Republican politicians happy, but we Republican voters still wish He would add a spine, along with a double dose of testosterone (Just the men. Republican female politicians are already tough enough).

    Yes

    • #4
  5. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Stad (View Comment):

    David Deeble: I’m reminded of the age-old wisdom a generation of young men received from their uncles: never get involved with a redheaded stripper named Tiffany.

    She didn’t have red hair! Hey, how do you know my uncle?

    God may have made Republican politicians happy, but we Republican voters still wish He would add a spine, along with a double dose of testosterone (Just the men. Republican female politicians are already tough enough).

    It wasn’t so much advice as it was via demonstration.

    • #5
  6. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):
    Did he or Michelle ever practice law, actually have real jobs?

    I think Obama had a real job for a couple of months, but quit because he either didn’t like it, couldn’t do it, or “didn’t fit in”.

    I did read Michelle Obama had a no-show job at a Chicago hospital or medical group.  When she did show up, she found a way around Reagan’s You Will Treat All In The ER law to send the poor packing to other ERs . . . ah, here’s one source:

    https://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/nb/noel-sheppard/2008/08/23/michelle-obamas-hospital-shuns-uninsured-poor-people

    • #6
  7. David Deeble Member
    David Deeble
    @DavidDeeble

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment): What a wonderful post!

    Glad you enjoyed it, Dr! 

    • #7
  8. tigerlily Member
    tigerlily
    @tigerlily

    David Deeble:

     

     

     

    Jussie Smollett Saga

    The social justice warriors’ narrative surrounding the Jussie Smollett saga is clearly incapable of keeping up with the emerging facts. This story has a little bit of everything for Deplorables, from wild-eyed anti-MAGA hatred to Democrat big city corruption. We’re now at the point where accusing the Empire actor of committing a hoax is precisely what a homophobic, racist country would do.

    Personally, I was hoping that Smollett went on trial just so his lawyer could insist that her client couldn’t get a fair trial in MAGA country. One can only hope that the resultant tensions between the Chicago police department and Mayor Rahm Emanuel on one hand and the Cook County State’s Attorney Office on the other are merely a prelude to a brutal throat-punching Democratic primary.

    At this juncture, the only thing that might cause Smollett’s supporters to enter the final stage of Trump Derangement Syndrome is if the president vowed to deport the Nigerian brothers for carrying out the attack.

    By the way, isn’t it a little late in Rahm Emanuel’s term as mayor to be discovering the Chicago Way?

    Neither of the two remaining candidates in the current Chicago mayoral  race have much to say about the Smollett case. You’d think one or the other would’ve seen a chance to gain the vote of those who are not far-left.

     

    • #8
  9. 9thDistrictNeighbor Member
    9thDistrictNeighbor
    @9thDistrictNeighbor

    tigerlily (View Comment):
    You’d think one or the other would’ve seen a chance to gain the vote of those who are not far-left.

    There are no voters in Chicago who are not far left.  Any who have not already moved out have been browbeaten into submission. #ChicagoWay

    • #9
  10. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    9thDistrictNeighbor (View Comment):

    tigerlily (View Comment):
    You’d think one or the other would’ve seen a chance to gain the vote of those who are not far-left.

    There are no voters in Chicago who are not far left. Any who have not already moved out have been browbeaten into submission. #ChicagoWay

    That’s not true. It is certainly no hotbed of conservative sentiment, but Donald still pulled down 25% of the vote in Cook County.

    • #10
  11. 9thDistrictNeighbor Member
    9thDistrictNeighbor
    @9thDistrictNeighbor

    Percival (View Comment):
    That’s not true. It is certainly no hotbed of conservative sentiment, but Donald still pulled down 25% of the vote in Cook County.

    Cook County is far larger than the city of Chicago itself.  In 2016, Trump received 135,317 votes out of 1,101,522 cast in the City of Chicago.  That’s 12.28 percent.  Trump won one Cook County township (Barrington) with a plurality of 48.99 percent of votes cast in that township.  Overall for Cook County Trump received 29.83 percent of the vote.  Not much winning.

    • #11
  12. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    9thDistrictNeighbor (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):
    That’s not true. It is certainly no hotbed of conservative sentiment, but Donald still pulled down 25% of the vote in Cook County.

    Cook County is far larger than the city of Chicago itself. In 2016, Trump received 135,317 votes out of 1,101,522 cast in the City of Chicago. That’s 12.28 percent. Trump won one Cook County township (Barrington) with a plurality of 48.99 percent of votes cast in that township. Overall for Cook County Trump received 29.83 percent of the vote. Not much winning.

    So what you’re saying is Chicago is not MAGA country.

    Jussie Smolett, call your office!

    • #12
  13. unsk2 Member
    unsk2
    @

    Very nice summary.

    • #13
  14. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    Excellent post, David.

    Stad (View Comment):

    9thDistrictNeighbor (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):
    That’s not true. It is certainly no hotbed of conservative sentiment, but Donald still pulled down 25% of the vote in Cook County.

    Cook County is far larger than the city of Chicago itself. In 2016, Trump received 135,317 votes out of 1,101,522 cast in the City of Chicago. That’s 12.28 percent. Trump won one Cook County township (Barrington) with a plurality of 48.99 percent of votes cast in that township. Overall for Cook County Trump received 29.83 percent of the vote. Not much winning.

    So what you’re saying is Chicago is not MAGA country.

    Jussie Smolett, call your office!

    Maybe it’s just the neighborhood around that Subway sandwich shop that is MAGA Country.

    • #14
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