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Who Wants to Help Write a Dentistry Musical?
I had my semi-annual dental cleaning a couple of days ago, and as I spoke with my hygienist and dentist, I thought of something the dental profession needs: Good PR. Not just good PR, but flashy good PR, and what better PR is there than a good musical? I mean look what Kiss Me, Kate! did for touring actors or Lend Me a Tenor did for opera singers or what A Chorus Line did for Broadway performers or what The Greatest Showman did for circus hucksters or La La Land did for Hollywood performers or what The Blues Brothers did for blues bands or…um…what the “Poor Judd is Dead” song did for Harvey Weinstein types in Oklahoma. (All of the sudden, I’m realizing how self-focused that this whole business is.)
Anyway, the point is, that a good musical could be great PR for dentistry. When we currently think of musicals and dentistry, what currently comes to mind? You immediately thought of Little Shop of Horrors, didn’t you? First, the dentist is only a peripheral character in that musical, and even more so in the original movie the musical is based on. Second, this character is not good PR for dentistry, not by a long shot. No, we need something much better, much more positive.
Some of the scenes I am imagining go like this:
- A full-on Busby Berkeley-style song-and-dance number involving dental hygienists singing a song that might have words or a chorus that might include:Brush, Brush, Brush your teeth,
And floss them every day.
Brush, Brush, Brush your teeth,
And wipe the plaque away… - In the dance number, it might involve a chorus line dressed as teeth with the hygienists pulling pristine white silk ropes between them for the “Floss” part.
- Of course, there has to be a dramatic love song, so why not something that starts:I love…my teeth…In…my mouth
And I want to keep them that waaaaaayyyy! - There could be a song or dance number highlighting some of the nifty new technologies, or perhaps a number for each. For instance, the 3-D X-Ray machine, or the 3-D printers for creating polymer or glass fillings or crowns that are made while you wait.
- And the comedic relief character, a vampire looking for a good all-night dental clinic.
The main thing is to make the dentist’s office a less scary place for people. Instead of feeling anxiety, let’s have them go into the dentist’s office smiling and humming catchy tunes. Use your imagination. Who is in, and what have you got?
Published in Group Writing
I did think of Steve Martin and Bill Murray. I also thought of Seinfeld. One doesn’t want to be accused of being a rabid anti-dentite.
Thursday is a little early to be departing controlled flight, even for you.
This conversation is part of our Group Writing Series under June’s theme of Now That’s Imagination! If you have some imaginative ideas to share or perhaps that you would like help with, why not pick a day and share them with us? Have a short story that wants to burst forth onto the Internet in all its pixelated glory? Pick a date! Never started a conversation on Ricochet before? This is your chance.
Afraid of what I might come up with if I have to fill in tomorrow’s slot? Necessity is the mother of invention. You’ll come up with something. Just sign up today! (It’s true, I am not above threats.)
They could just adapt some Ipana commercials for the stage:
And I really thought this up on Tuesday.
My dentist always sings “Crown Him With Many Crowns” when I come in for my check-ups.
Somehow this doesn’t make me feel less anxiety.
Also, we have ten openings still in the month. You all really should fear what I might come up with next. You can come up with something imaginative, yet saner, than the things I might come up with. Best to prevent me, really.
No one needs a dental musical. Weirdos like you used to be carefully watched by HUAC. Oh for the halcyon days of the 50’s.
Later when I’m at my computer I’ll post a link to the dentists’ song and dance routine in the Russian film, Election Day.
Dang, I wanted to post the video from Little Shop Of Horrors.
This going to be a great thread. The best thread.
It’s clear the gas had not worn off when you posted this . . .
You could always post from Roger Corman’s film.
It was just X-rays and a cleaning, no gas involved. Now, here’s the really fun part. Because of allergic reactions, I don’t trust anesthetics. My mother has nearly died twice at dentists’ offices because of her allergies. So, I have had two cavities filled in the past without anesthetics.
Ten openings? We really need some fillings.
I don’t see how this is expected to help with that goal.
We can but try.
That reminds me of a song by a ‘dentist’ ….
@user_19450, @kelsurprise? Want to get in on the fun?
Of course, there is always this song about “Painless” the dentist from MASH:
I guess you’ll be a stunt double in Marathon Man 2 . . .
Not enough musical numbers.
Think Herbie!
Dentist check, Musical check, Sappy endearing children’s touchstone flashback, check, check, and check.
Your all set Arahant.
My favorite dentist movie is the W.C. Fields short The Dentist. It was banned. If you watch it, you might understand why.
One of the songs would have to be drills at different pitches.
And while it’s not entire movie, a Pink Panther scene is my second favorite dentist scene.
And there’s Alan Arkin playing Shelley Kornpett in the In Laws. He was funny.
And that is just what dentists don’t need.
Yeah, but it’s still funny.
What’s there not to like about the dentist from Little Shop of Horrors? He loves his momma, and he seems fun to be around.