Finding Salvation Where You Least Expect It

 

Inspired by @skipsul’s recent post on the unlikely, but important, service recently rendered unto him by Piers Morgan, I’d like to tell you about the time that William Jefferson Clinton saved my mother-in-law’s life.

Grandma (her preferred honorific) was a bespectacled, down-to-earth little lady who lived alone in her small apartment about 30 miles from us. She had her own life, which revolved around volunteer work as a lunch lady at the local Catholic grade school, her friends from her decades-long career as an Operating Room Technician at a Pittsburgh hospital, her neighbors, and her family. She was unfailingly cheerful, patriotic, hard-working, and sociable, with a wry sense of humor and strong political opinions. She was much-loved, by everyone who knew her, and save for her unfortunate adulation of Elvis, as far as I know, she had no faults.

And until about three weeks before her 80th birthday in 1998, she was healthy.

Unfortunately, in places we couldn’t see, things were not so good, and one fine morning, while Grandma was enjoying a cup of tea and her favorite talk show of the day on the radio (she really loved a middle-of-the-night guy who insisted that sleeping with a soap bar under the foot of the mattress would cure arthritis–any true believers?), a large intestinal ulcer burst.

I will draw a curtain over the scene, except to say that there was an extraordinary amount of blood. Everywhere.

Grandma managed to crawl to the phone and call Mr. She’s first wife (Mary), who only lived a few blocks away. Mary called 911, then drove over to Grandma’s, where she let herself in with her own key. Then she called us.

Grandma and Mary arrived at the hospital before us, and when we got there, Grandma was on a gurney in the Emergency Department. I thought she’d died. She was the color of cement. Her eyes were rolled back in her head. She didn’t have her teeth in, and she looked like one of those dried apple dolls. She wasn’t moving.

IV teams, doctors, and nurses were busily attaching her to tubes, bottles, monitors, and machines.

And a guy was trying to get some sort of a response from what appeared to be a comatose lump.

Can you open your eyes and tell me how many fingers am I holding up?  No response.

Do you know what day of the week it is? No response.

What is your name?  No response.

Do you know what year it is? No response.

Then, finally, pay dirt:

Do you know who the President of the United States is?

At that, Grandma’s eyes flew open. Her face regained its color. She shot bolt upright, one finger pointing at her unfortunate interlocutor in an accusatory fashion, and she said:

That [redacted] no good [redacted] [expletive] [redacted]!

Then she lay back down and went to sleep.

And we knew she was going to be alright.

Grandma died in 2007. I’m so sorry she didn’t live until the 2016 election (she’d have been 98). If she had, she’d have considered the privilege of voting against Hillary Clinton for President to be the greatest patriotic choice and duty of her long life. And she lived through the Depression and World War II.

Have there been events or circumstances in your life when rescue or salvation came from an unexpected source?

*The photo is from Grandma’s 80th birthday party, which she was well enough to attend. Also pictured is the riotously funny (not always intentionally) Elvis impersonator we hired to perform there. I still have the “Happy Birthday” card signed by Bill Clinton that I’d thought to order up before the events recounted above took place.

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  1. Titus Techera Contributor
    Titus Techera
    @TitusTechera

    Amazing!

    • #1
  2. She Member
    She
    @She

    She: I still have the “Happy Birthday” card signed by Bill Clinton that I’d thought to order up before the events recounted above took place.

    And here it is!

    • #2
  3. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    She: She was much-loved, by everyone who knew her, and save for her unfortunate adulation for Elvis, as far as I know, she had no faults.

    This is hysterical! She sounds like she was a real gem. I guess I can grudgingly give Bill a little credit for bringing her back to life. Thank you for a lovely post, She.

    • #3
  4. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    She: She was much-loved, by everyone who knew her, and save for her unfortunate adulation for Elvis, as far as I know, she had no faults.

    That’s not a fault. Come on. At most it is a foible.

    Hilarious story.

    • #4
  5. She Member
    She
    @She

    Grandma’s obituary so intrigued a fellow at the Tribune Review (it was the Elvis reference, as it turned out) that he contacted us and then wrote an article about her.  For more on this remarkable lady, including a few sidelights on her intrepid nature and her generosity of spirit, see Tony LaRussa’s article here.

    People who got to know Mrs. Zbozny found her to be a kind, generous and gentle woman, her son said.

    “The steel mill where my dad worked was on strike when I was entering Carnegie Tech in 1955,” he said. “I had received a number of scholarships, but couldn’t come up with the money for the application fees.

    “Then all of a sudden, the money showed up, and the application was sent off. I found out years later that she hocked her wedding ring to get the money. I think that says a lot about the kind of woman she was,” he said.

    and

    Another incident that occurred during the past year provided some insight into Mrs. Zbozny’s adventurous spirit.

    “She accidentally locked herself out of her apartment one day, so she went across the hall to her closest friend, Dorothy Carter, who suggested they call the building superintendent,” her son said.

    “But rather than bother anybody, my mother decided to break into her own apartment and crawl in through the bedroom window. It’s an example of the resilience people of her generation have,” he said.

    • #5
  6. Sandy Member
    Sandy
    @Sandy

    This is the best thing I’m likely to hear all week (month?  year?).  Thank you for telling her story.

    • #6
  7. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    She:

    Do you know who the President of the United States is?

    At that, Grandma’s eyes flew open. Her face regained its color. She shot bolt upright, one finger pointing at her unfortunate interlocutor in an accusatory fashion, and she said:

    That [redacted] no good [redacted] [expetive] [redacted]!

    I would have asked her to be more specific.

    Thank you, She. Great post for a great lady.

    • #7
  8. Richard Easton Coolidge
    Richard Easton
    @RichardEaston

    My wife was rescued by JFK.  She was two in 1960 when JFK was running for president.  He was walking in a parade in her home town and she wandered into the street.  He scooped her up and handed her to my MIL.  This is not as exciting as your wonderful story.  Bravo grandma!

    • #8
  9. She Member
    She
    @She

    Richard Easton (View Comment):
    My wife was rescued by JFK. She was two in 1960 when JFK was running for president. He was walking in a parade in her home town and she wandered into the street. He scooped her up and handed her to my MIL. This is not as exciting as your wonderful story. Bravo grandma!

    Lovely story.  Good for the future President.  The cynic in me can’t help observing that it’s good to know, that, at least once in his life, one of the Kennedy men rescued a damsel in distress . . .

    • #9
  10. Mole-eye Inactive
    Mole-eye
    @Moleeye

    Great story.  Yay for Grandma!

    • #10
  11. kelsurprise Member
    kelsurprise
    @kelsurprise

    Well, Bill didn’t save my life, but he sure saved my “deployment.”

    I went down south with the Red Cross, after Katrina.  I packed light and for extreme heat and rough conditions and then, in my assignment interview, they discovered I was an actress and decided that meant I was best qualified for a “Media Relations” position at the River Center in Baton Rouge, where the worst “hardships” I encountered were the non-working escalators and the arctic air conditioning.  I felt utterly useless, working a desk job all day, giving tours to media.

    And then the word went out, Bill Clinton and various other luminous dignitaries were coming to OUR SHELTER for a big meeting and the advance team put our little Media group in charge.  Finally, I had a mission — I interviewed shelter residents, for a Q&A session, so I finally got to know some of them better, served as liaison with National Guard and local officials, took notes in meetings, wrote up reports, contacted nearby mayors and city officials, served as Goodwill Ambassador.  Sure, the fact that it was all for Bill took some of the joy out of it but I finally felt useful and I’ll give him this – he really spent some quality time visiting with our clients, giving them personal attention that no one else did.  They loved it and I appreciated the shot in the arm it gave them.

    So when he came out of the big meeting with the Gov, et al, and I happened to find myself on the receiving line of gushing fans reaching out to shake his hand, I tucked both my arms firmly behind my back, gave him a nod and said “thanks for coming!”

    A co-worker back here in NY was horrified by that story.  “You wouldn’t even shake the man’s hand?”

    “No,” I said, “because there was a sea of paparazzi there, snapping away, and if I’d have smiled and reached out to shake that #$&$&#’s hand, I just KNOW that that would have been the precise moment that the NYTimes would have taken their cover photo and you people back here at the office would have blown it up, poster-sized, hung it all over the break room and never let me live it down.”

    • #11
  12. Doug Watt Member
    Doug Watt
    @DougWatt

    Thanks for introducing us to what I would call a real, and the best kind of feminist. She knew who she was, and I suspect she could asses in short order who someone else was.

    • #12
  13. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    Oh, @she!  What a marvelous story…Much enjoyed and welcome.  Rah! to Mr. She, btw, pls/ty? :-) <3

    • #13
  14. Manny Coolidge
    Manny
    @Manny

    LMAO!  I hope some day I may be in Gradma’s same condition and they ask me the same question and I have the same response.  Whether they saved me or not, those would be great as famous last words.

    • #14
  15. CB Toder aka Mama Toad Member
    CB Toder aka Mama Toad
    @CBToderakaMamaToad

    I was once trying to donate blood, but being of a naturally peaceful calm nature, my blood pressure was something like 60 over 95, which the lady said was too low. If I got my bp second number over 100, she said, she could take my blood; otherwise not. I began to contemplate the president at the time, Clinton, and quickly had my blood boiling so I was able to give my quart.

    Thanks President Clinton for helping to save lives. Credit where due etc.

    • #15
  16. She Member
    She
    @She

    CB Toder aka Mama Toad (View Comment):
    I was once trying to donate blood, but being of a naturally peaceful calm nature, my blood pressure was something like 60 over 95, which the lady said was too low. If I got my bp second number over 100, she said, she could take my blood; otherwise not. I began to contemplate the president at the time, Clinton, and quickly had my blood boiling so I was able to give my quart.

    Thanks President Clinton for helping to save lives. Credit where due etc.

    Good heavens.  Two miracles!  Where do we sign him up for sainthood?

    • #16
  17. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    She (View Comment):
    Good heavens. Two miracles! Where do we sign him up for sainthood?

    He’d have to convert – and die – before the process could even begin…Just sayin’. :-D

    • #17
  18. She Member
    She
    @She

    Nanda Panjandrum (View Comment):

    She (View Comment):
    Good heavens. Two miracles! Where do we sign him up for sainthood?

    He’d have to convert – and die – before the process could even begin…Just sayin’. ?

    Every silver lining has a cloud, as they say.  Or is it the other way round . . . . .

    • #18
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