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Impeach Trump, Get our Moon Colony!
I think it’s become clear that Trump must be impeached. It is obvious that misuse of Twitter is an act of high crimes and misdemeanors. Actually, an earlier draft of the Constitution clearly stated that the President could not misuse new forms of communication. James Madison decided to scratch that idea, however in a letter he wrote to Dolly he made it clear that misuse of forms of communication should be an impeachable offense. A certain history buff has uncovered this letter and will use it for the good of the Republic!
We agree that Trump must be removed. Does that mean that we get President Pence? Not so fast! Pence is guilty by association. We must also impeach Pence once he’s elevated to the presidency. So, are we stuck with President Ryan? Think again!
It’s visibly clear, even to Stevie Wonder, that Paul Ryan can’t get anything through the House. He can’t move a piece of legislation, let alone impeachment proceedings. Before we can start the impeachment process, we must remove Ryan from the Speakership. We know he’s a RINO-squish, so he’s gotta go. Who can replace Ryan? It can’t be Kevin McCarthy, he’s as much of a squish as Ryan. The obvious choice for the new Speaker is the same man that holds that letter from Madison and has a track record of successfully impeaching a president. That’s right — Newt Gingrich!
I think you know where I’m going with this. Newt deposes Ryan. No one else wants to be Speaker, and Newt says that it’s a sacrifice that he’s willing to make. He’ll serve as Speaker again because his country needs him. Once he’s Speaker, he starts impeachment proceedings on President Trump and Vice President Pence. Both men are impeached. McConnell is able to get two things through the Senate and that’s the conviction of Trump and Pence.
Voilà! President Newt Gingrich! First item on the agenda? A moon colony! I can’t wait for this to happen.
Least insane impeachment theory yet.
Hey kids! What time is it?
It-t-t’s Trump impeachment time,
It’s Trump impeachment time.
Today is just so fine
Go, Trump impeachment time.
Let’s give a rousing cheer,
Impeachment time is here!
It’s time to start the show,
So kids let’s go!
Seawriter
This is obviously cis-visionist! You bigot!
Wait! I know darn well what this is really about!!
Eclipse? Gingrich? Moon Colony!
Connect the pieces everyone! Open your eyes!
I identify as trans-blind. So I can say these things.
At least someone has faith that NASA can still get a man beyond earth’s orbit. Go Newt!
We are sending Newt first right?
Ging-grich! Ging-grich! Ging-grich!
Ging-grich! Ging-grich! Ging-grich!
Ging-grich! Ging-grich! Ging-grich!
Naturally. Then he can become President of the Universe.
If you dig deep enough and get to the fresh cheese, there’s plenty for everyone!
Lies, all lies! It’s not fresh, it’s aged! Probably limburger.
Well, you’re just wrong.
Hillary will run for the House in some district on the upper west side of NYC. Dems take House in 2008. Then Nancy will step aside and let Hill become speaker for 45 days. Then Trump and Pence will be impeached making Hill president. It’s all so clear. She was meant to be.
I seem to recall the last time there was a vote for speaker people kept pointing out it doesn’t need to be a member of the House. So realistically if they managed to win it she wouldn’t even need it.
Having flashbacks?
This is my impeachment song.
It doesn’t last too long.
Hey I’ll be here all week.
And you all thought that Iron Sky was just speculative fiction.
Not me.
No, I was preoccupied with my time machine. Was taking it back to short some stocks.
That’ll teach Zubrin. A moon colony will ensure that we don’t go to Mars anytime soon.
Embrace the power of “and”.
Seawriter
Please don’t give him anymore ammunition to come to Ricochet and taunt us some more.
18 comments on an impeachment thread and still no Gary?
That’s odd.
I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
(Some things just improve with age.)
Seawriter
Especially when the kids don’t get the joke.
You know I watched that movie as sort of a stress relief valve so many time in college years, I still can recite half the dialog in my sleep…. and yet it is still making me smirk.
Did you have an advanced copy of a post of his?
Do I need one?
Seawriter
With our government, it’s more likely to be neither.
They need to embrace the power of “and,” too. They also need to foster the concept of making a profit in space – then the government would not have to be the ones building space colonies.
Seawriter
No no no. Close your eyes. Do not watch the eclipse. Unsafe. Unsafe.